Community Chat

[Gorgf]

I had one scam on a site and yes figured it was Nigeria. Everything checked out but he posted someone else's picture. When he told me the banks were closed and he needed money. Done.

I gave up on dating as distance, age, family  and luggage got tiring. The worst ones were men who never married. They all still want one thing  or money and that was the reason on line. I really admire those that find Love later in life. I even had a Mother write and tell me she we bed me to meet her son. I can tell stories. I had 50 dates in 10 years, some for a few months of dating. One stood me up three times, one blew up because I was not standing by the front door of the restaurant as went in to have a glass of wine as early, one came to the house and honked his horn and flashed his lights. I stood hin.up the only time, one was so cheap he would go to the bathroom outside, a retired teacher and town Mayor no less. One told me if stray cats are on his property he live trapped them and drowned them,a electrician. One gave me a clone a p**is from a kit his ,for Christmas. It is too crazy.

I found it less stressful to just be alone. I have a platonic friend who doesn't cook and I make dinners or food to go and he helps me cut trees or fix the Mower. I am financially secure and healthy. My dogs are my interest and volunteer work especial,y for the Humane Society.

[Q4u]

Wow, just wow!  I've not had any experiences on a dating site but would encourage my youngest son to go on one because he's so busy at his job as a Network Engineer that he has very little time to meet people.  But he won't go near a dating site because of what you've described.  Not only scams but he's extremely knowledgable regarding computers and doesn't want to give the site his information.

I imagine that this arena is even worse for widowed older ladies and that there might even be more scams from older men.....

I think you did everything right.  I might even go so far as to change my telephone number just to be sure that guy will never be able to call.

Good luck!

[Ditzydori]

There are scammers in real life just meeting them in person!!! That’s unbelievable. Where have I been. I know. Married for 43 years and oblivious to all this.

Well that’s it for me. I think I’ll get a dog instead.

[software]

I was divorced, then met my soulmate, now I'm a widow.

I had the best luck being active in groups (IRL) of mostly single people of the same age.

I was not interested in long distance or internet apps or websites, too easy to fool people.  I dabbled in something, this was over 15 years ago, maybe Yahoo something.  A chat room for romance maybe.   Most of the men were married.   

I've been single now almost 7 years.

I'm not even remotely interested in playing the dating game, online or off.

With my own interests & kids & grandkids, not sure where I could fit another person in to my busy life.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

@Ditzydori 

[Desertdi]

Not the least bit interested in finding some old guy who wants a nurse and housekeeper (with money)...............

[Ditzydori]

DesertD. You cracked me up. Thanks so much for that belly laugh. And sometimes I do think what am I crazy. I can eat cereal for dinner now. But where I live is far from my family. Circumstances put me here and for now I’m staying here.

I have lots of friends and am quite active, but I would love a soneone to enjoy life with. I def don't want to be nurse and housekeeper. Been there done that!!

Hmmmm. I’m going to have to rethink this. 🧐🧐🧐

[AngelPuppy1]

@Ditzydori 

So sorry you had these bad experiences!  But thankfully you are a smart woman and went into this experience with both eyes open.  It is sad that a person has to be so vigilant these days and expect the worst of people but it's reality!  The old saying holds true even more so today --- better safe than sorry!

I can't even imagine trying to be on the dating scene these days.  I'd be so terrified, I don't think I could do it!  

I agree with you in taking a break. Some time after the holidays are over, maybe try again with one of the other sites, such as eharmony, as you stated.  There are good people out there, but unfortunately, there are so many who are trying to hurt and scam, it's really difficult to find them.

[novamc1]

Don't know whatever happened to the old-fashioned way of meeting up with people, including the one person who might turn out to be special.

It  used to happen not by sitting in front of a computer and logging into dating websites.  

Might be more rewarding to join and actively particpate in a social or special-interest group,  a church group, a charitable organization, or  it could happen during a chance meeting  at the library, or a civic meeting, or in an elevator.

Too many creeps are on the other side of our computer screens  these days to be able to fully trust even one of them.

[Tukey]

Current BF of 7 years I met on Match, but most match encounters were losers.  I would not do it again.

1) I was speaking to one guy and it came up in conversation I worked for a police department.  I worked in IT and am not an officer.  But that apparently freaked the guy out.  As soon as I mentioned that he said "Oh so you can do background checks on people?"  And suddenly he remembered he had to go buy food for his dog before the store closed and had to end the call.  Never heard from again.

2) I dated on guy a few times and he started moving stuff into my house.  Found out he had an arrest for 2nd degree attempted rape, perverted practice, assault and some other things.  Case was dismissed as victim died suddenly afterwards.  Always wonder if he killed her.  Anyway he found some other sucker to support him.

3) One guy begged to meet up so I said I would meet him at this shopping center on the way home from work.  I was not even dressed up, was hoping he would not like what he saw and would leave me alone.  Instead started to grope me in the parking lot.  He was a big slovenly disgusting guy who lacked hygiene.  I left and took a long way home in case he was looking which way I went.

Like I said, a lot of losers.  And yes, usually a bunch of men in other far away states and countries usually looking for Western Union money.  Sadly I know of someone who met someone on Christian Mingle who "loaded" some guy $10k.  Never got it back.

[silkyk]

---

@novamc1 wrote:

Don't know whatever happened to the old-fashioned way of meeting up with people, including the one person who might turn out to be special.

It  used to happen not by sitting in front of a computer and logging into dating websites.  

Might be more rewarding to join and actively particpate in a social or special-interest group,  a church group, a charitable organization, or  it could happen during a chance meeting  at the library, or a civic meeting, or in an elevator.

Too many creeps are on the other side of our computer screens  these days to be able to fully trust even one of them.

ITA! You can meet the right person at the darn grocery store....a common love of lettuce or whatever. Just keep your peepers open and a smile on your face and the universe will walk that person right into your life. Don't count on the darn computer. Just get out there!

---