Community Chat

[esmerelda]

@Ditzydori  i’ve heard of two dating sites that you may want to consider when you’re ready.  Maybe they’ve already been mentioned. I haven’t read the entire thread.

One is plenty of fish which is pretty much local people in your area as I understand it… If it still exists even. And the other is our time which is geared for people 50 and over. (I don’t know your age.)

I have two friends who “met” people online. It wasn’t on dating sites, it was through online games. One was pretty much cleaned out and the other fortunately suffered no harm.

It was no coincidence that this guy’s lost wallet etc. happened in Cyprus. It couldn’t happen in the US, or if he scammed you he could be prosecuted. Out of the country...all bets are off.

Good luck on your search. He’s out there somewhere. You might already know him.

eta...I have no experience with dating sites.

[esmerelda]

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@Ditzydori wrote:
Are you kidding. I’m ALWAYS out. I’m never home. Church groups galore, dances, movies, gym classes,

In a little I’m going to rehearse for a nativity production at my church.

I’m out there. Always try to look my best. But nada. But I know in Gods time and His will.

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@Ditzydori   Are there any places you could take some fun classes? Community college? Do you know if there is an Academy for Lifetime Learning in your area?  Places to volunteer?

[GenXmuse]

I used Match.com and am happily married now. Zoosk is fairly new and not as reputable from what I've heard. Hang in there, dating isn't for sissies. I believe God will bring the right person into your life in his timing. 

[kivah]

Try to meet a man who doesn't live too far from u - as u want to meet in person --- at a restaurant or Starbucks - during the day. . 

There are scammers everywhere - and u really don't know who they are or where they live - and they could also be sending pics that they collected from other websites.

Always get their full name, address, type of work they do, name of their employer, their tele. #, their email address etc. If they don't want to give u this information, move on. When they're going on a trip or ask u for money -- RUN don't WALK. Always google their name to see what comes up.

My neighbor met her husband on eHarmoney in 2005 - and he lived 20 minutes away. She was 60 and he was 62 - both professionals. They got married in 2006 - perfect match.

Try eHarmony --- I believe people on this site are more serious about a relationship - and u answer various questions and the site matches u. Why give up when u could meet the man of ur dreams. Just be Aware and be Cautious.

Thousands and Thousands of people meet on dating websites. You could meet scammers in ur neighborhood, at ur church, at the supermarket. Where else could u meet so many people in such a short time?

[Spurt]

You were smart and avoided a lot of headaches and heartaches..... 

One time they did a show on Dr. Phil and a lot of married men admitted to the fact that they pretended to be single on these dating sites.....I know people will give examples of success stories, but how many were not and turned into bad or creepy experiences....

One idea is to volunteer for an organization that your interested in to meet like minded people ....Although not 100% full proof, you can probably get a better perception by seeing them in person than online....

[Spurt]

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@Tukey wrote:

Current BF of 7 years I met on Match, but most match encounters were losers.  I would not do it again.

1) I was speaking to one guy and it came up in conversation I worked for a police department.  I worked in IT and am not an officer.  But that apparently freaked the guy out.  As soon as I mentioned that he said "Oh so you can do background checks on people?"  And suddenly he remembered he had to go buy food for his dog before the store closed and had to end the call.  Never heard from again.

2) I dated on guy a few times and he started moving stuff into my house.  Found out he had an arrest for 2nd degree attempted rape, perverted practice, assault and some other things.  Case was dismissed as victim died suddenly afterwards.  Always wonder if he killed her.  Anyway he found some other sucker to support him.

3) One guy begged to meet up so I said I would meet him at this shopping center on the way home from work.  I was not even dressed up, was hoping he would not like what he saw and would leave me alone.  Instead started to grope me in the parking lot.  He was a big slovenly disgusting guy who lacked hygiene.  I left and took a long way home in case he was looking which way I went.

Like I said, a lot of losers.  And yes, usually a bunch of men in other far away states and countries usually looking for Western Union money.  Sadly I know of someone who met someone on Christian Mingle who "loaded" some guy $10k.  Never got it back.

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@Tukey 

WOW!!!  Those scenarios sound like scripts for Lifetime movies!!!

[Mindy D]

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@Ditzydori wrote:
First let me say I’ve off loaded the dating app off my phone. It hasn’t been a good experience for me at all.

I’m widowed 2 1/2 years and am ready to move forward. Meeting someone where I live wasn’t happening so upon a whim I joined a dating site. Very big mistake.

Now maybe some have been lucky in meeting mr wonderful but all I met were 2 scammers and a s.... maniac who on the first and ONLY date tried to touch my br....ts.

I’m DONE. If I stay single for the rest of my life so be it because I am blessed with a good life.

One scammer was very obvious so the communication didn’t last long. But the second had and still has me perplexed.

He was a very nice, well spoken “Christian” man. We communicated for about a little, him sending me screen shots of him and his collegues at a meeting and of himself. I check his photos by doing a reverse image search and all was clear.

Then he went on a business trip to cypress and said we would be able to continue to communicate over what’s app, which we did. He continued to send screenshots and our convos were great. His goal was to return in one month. We Skyped several times. He was who he said he was and he was where he said he was. I know. I checked.

Then all of a sudden he was so upset and said they stole his wallet. 😳😳😳. His id and black
Card were stolen. Said they suspended his account and had no access to his money. Yea right.

Anyway I blocked him and off loaded the app. That was more than I could handle. I reported him to the dating site.

Has anyone had anything like this happen to them. I feel like a fool even though nothing happened. But he really took me in. I was so attracted to him and couldn’t wait to meet him. The Skyping has convinced me he was who he said he was and then wham.

What guts this man had. Usually from what I read about dating scams they are usually from Nigeria and the victim never sees them.

To tell you the truth. This scared me. He doesn’t have any personal info except my telephone number which is enough.

Anyone care to share your experiences to help me feel better about myself?

Thanks ladies.

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Do not beat yourself up. You made different checks on this man. You instantly recognized the lost wallet, send money scam. These scammers are good at what they do. Thank goodness you never actually met the guy and entered into any direct contact .He’ll go onto the next unsuspecting ‘date.’ He didn’t break any laws but you might want to make some kind of law enforcement contact. I don’t know what kind, but some report that includes the picture he sent you would be good. By the way, chances are this wasn’t even him in the pictures and it might not even be his name. He could have hijacked someone else’s identity for the purpose of the scam. Scammers of all sorts  use the religion ploy to pretend that they must be good persons and to appeal to truly religious victims to overcome their fears. These victims often think that other persons that are religious are not harmful; so these victims are more likely to take a chance if they think the scammer is a religious person too. The “I’m religious” card is a common ploy with scammers. Keep a look out for any further scammers because these people do trade and sell names and data on the victims they have marked. 

As for a or a future relationship, you might meet someone through your close friends and family. You never know. Just keep on being skeptical and check out anyone. If you’re happy going solo then do so. You’re not ditzy, either. You’re sharp. 

[Ditzydori]

Thanks ladies so much for your encouragement and stories!!!