Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag - Page 4

chessylady · ‎05-01-2010

My brother who was in the Army has the flag from my Dad's funeral. I expect he will pass it on to his daughter. I think it is sad that people do not care about significant parts of their ancestors' lives.

HisElk1 · ‎09-29-2015

@KatieB wrote:
@PilatesLover Why would you want to dispose of it? I still have the flag from my Dad's funeral over 25 years ago. It is proudly displayed in a flag case on a bookshelf.

@KatieB , same here. It's displayed on the top of our dining room hutch. It really doesn't take up that much space.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@beach-mom wrote:
@PilatesLover - Our local funeral home also will take it Since it is framed, if I were you, I would look into donating it to a museum. I have seen a wall of them in the military section of a small town museum. You could check with a military museum too if you have one you could get to.

You still might have someone in the family who would want it. I saw a situation where the family got rid of a small desk they thought no one wanted. They didn't check with everyone in their family. It meant a lot to one of the grandchildren, who really wanted it. But it was gone.

I hope you don't donate it to a second-hand store. Someone you loved held that folded flag on her lap.

I have two of them. Good luck with whatever you decide.

@beach-mom If you want something, check with the person before they die and get it. Or the executor before or after the death.

Most who are dealing with an estate and death have little time or energy to contact people in the family about stuff I would say. I didn't even know where most lived, and certainly not generations beyond my cousins--who were dead anyway.

You should ask someone politely if you could have or purchase whatever it is.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

@santorini So glad you survived your ordeal with your accident. You must be a strong person and raised a son wno is justly proud of his heritage.

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

There should be no judgement at all. Some people don’t want it as a keepsake, and that is ok. Maybe it brings back sad memories. Who knows. Nobody should have to explain why they feel the way they feel.

It’s a wonderful keepsake for those that want to display and enjoy it. It certainly is not a negative reflection on those that don’t.

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

The flag commenerating your dad's death and military burial would be something I would find it hard to not keep. They take up so little space and would have much meaning to me. I also would not want to see it all the time as I know I would travel back in time and feel sad all over again. Since it is such a small item, perhaps you could even just keep it under a bed, behind a piece of furniture like a couch.

It would then not take up limited storage space and you would still have it to look at occasionally.

As for your mother's nursing diploma and large frame, I would not feel bad disposing of it.

Whatever you decided to do with these items, make sure you take a picture of the items so you always have them with you in some form.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

My son has the family veterans flags.

I have to go down to Fl to take care of my mother's condo hopefully over the winter. For various reasons we haven't been able to go.

At one time I though that we might be able to spend winter months there but there have been too many issues to do so. My brother who is a co-owner is a caregiver to his spouse who has Lewy Body Dementia so it's impossible for him to go.

I need to get the rest of the personal items out before we sell. There is a huge 3' x 2' wedding photo of my grandparents hanging on the wall in the main bedroom. I have no desire to have it ...but will take a photo of it before I dispose of it in the dumpster. Yes I will feel guilty throwing it out.

PilatesLover · ‎08-20-2014

Thank you so much for everyone who offered solutions without judging or questioning me. When the time comes I will contact the VFW.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@KatieB wrote:
@PilatesLover Why would you want to dispose of it to begin with? I still have the flag from my Dad's funeral over 25 years ago. It is proudly displayed in a flag case on a bookshelf.

The original poster didn't say if she had children or not so isn't it better that she decide now what to do with the flag?

Why do people, in general (not just you) feel they need to guilt someone into keeping something they don't want because of painful memories.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

May I just add my other thoughts on this?

We have my husband's retirement flag in one of those triangular boxes. We also have my FIL's flag that had been put on his coffin.

Someday we all will be gone. I'd rather think we were able to admirably dispose of those flags than pass it on and who knows what might happen to it. Honorably is the best way to do it, when possible.

The lady in the OP, cared enough to ask and find out. That's admirable.