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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,885
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag


@liliblu wrote:

 

I've had to look into how to dispose of a flag (job related).  The VFW and American Legion are good options. Some county offices will take the flag for disposal as well.  

 

You can also dispose of the flag yourself.  You can put the flag out for collection after you've removed the blue field from the flag. The blue field should be burned in a peaceful manner and the ashes buried.


@liliblu   The embroidered stars can be carefully removed and given out to current and retired service people. 

 

Stars for Our Troops is one organization.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,601
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

If I get one more horrified poster mention 

I will have to take a knee.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,203
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

@haddon9 

A local historical society library would be the perfect home for that wedding photograph.  People doing genealogy research love finding old photographs of family they never knew.   Information like this is priceless.    

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,004
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

 


@Sooner wrote:

 


@beach-mom If you want something, check with the person before they die and get it.  Or the executor before or after the death.  

 

Most who are dealing with an estate and death have little time or energy to contact people in the family about stuff I would say.  I didn't even know where most lived, and certainly not generations beyond my cousins--who were dead anyway. 

 

You should  ask someone politely if you could have or purchase whatever it is. 


 

 


@Sooner - I know. I've been an executor twice; DH has been once. Both times I have been I have contacted family members and close friends and asked them to come get what they wanted. Sometimes they wanted to pay, and I never let them. 


 

My mom's twin sister and her husband had no children. I was very close to them, and although I didn't live near them, I saw them a lot. I miss them so much. They always joked how I was theirs too! My aunt died before my uncle. When he died his youngest brother was the executor. I had met him about twice, and he didn't know me. I wrote a letter to him asking for three things that were special to me. He wrote back and said he was glad I did that. One of them was a dry sink that came over from England with my great-grandfather. The executor's daughter wanted it, but of course none of them knew its history. They certainly understood why it was special to me, and were happy to let me have it and everything else I asked for.

 

 

 

Things didn't go as smoothly on DH's side of the family!   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,252
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag


@RedTop wrote:

@haddon9 

A local historical society library would be the perfect home for that wedding photograph.  People doing genealogy research love finding old photographs of family they never knew.   Information like this is priceless.    


@RedTop Thanks for the tip!  I will look into that.  The photo is from 1918 and my grandparents were in NYC at the time.  The photo is hangiing in south Florida ....I wonder if that would make a difference.

 

Anyway if a I could find a group or historical society that would want it, I would feel better to donate to them than just disposing it in a dumpster.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,813
Registered: ‎03-06-2020

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

@PilatesLover  Why would anyone hate you? You're asking a question that many of us don't know the answer to and I, for one, am VERY grateful for this question and thread. 

 

I have my fathers, folded and untouched from his funeral. It was then placed in a special case and is currently hanging on our wall in our office/den with other very special items that were once his. My eldest (who was very close to him) loves to go in there, read and just relax next to Pop-Pop's things/memories. Each of my sons have asked for specific items and the flag will go to my eldest when he's ready to take it.

 

Not everyone has someone who can or wants to accept a piece of family history; now they have an option that still allows the flag and the persons memory to be handled with dignity and respect.

 

Thank  you. Smiley Happy

*Four Seasons once again*
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,291
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

@PilatesLover 

 

VFW

 

hckynut  🇺🇸 

hckynut(john)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,812
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

Why not proudly display it in your home? What a wonderful display and story you could convey! 

"Pure Michigan"
New Contributor
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎11-01-2022

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag

Hello,

 

Long time forum lurker here and would like to add to this discussion.

 

People may be surprised to know that the military cemetaries will take your doanted flags and they will fly them.  They line the drives with flags during military related holidays.  Its quite beautiful to see.

 

My parents are in one and when my Dad passed Mom displayed his flag at home.  She always got choked-up and felt so proud of my Dad when we went to visit and she saw the flags flying (I still do).  She put it in her will that when she passed we were to donate it to the cemetary so that it would fly over them again (note: you can't specify where in the cemetary to fly it).

 

When my uncle passed, I inherited his flag.  He saw action in the pacific and along with his flag I also received the love letters and momentos he sent to my aunt during his service.  As my Dad's flag was already on display in the home I decided to donate his flag to the cemetary and keep the momentos.  My uncle wasn't even burried in a military cemetary but they took it.

 

Please consider donating your Dad's flag to the cemetary he is buried in (if possible, if not then another one) so that it can fly over our veterans and honor them again.  You won't personally witness it but it will comfort a stranger when they visit their loved ones.

 

(For anyone reding this who has donated to a military cemetary - on behalf of my family, thank you!) 

 

(Back to lurking)

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,589
Registered: ‎08-20-2014

Re: A dilemma - my father's funeral flag


@fifiwesfan wrote:

Hello,

 

Long time forum lurker here and would like to add to this discussion.

 

People may be surprised to know that the military cemetaries will take your doanted flags and they will fly them.  They line the drives with flags during military related holidays.  Its quite beautiful to see.

 

My parents are in one and when my Dad passed Mom displayed his flag at home.  She always got choked-up and felt so proud of my Dad when we went to visit and she saw the flags flying (I still do).  She put it in her will that when she passed we were to donate it to the cemetary so that it would fly over them again (note: you can't specify where in the cemetary to fly it).

 

When my uncle passed, I inherited his flag.  He saw action in the pacific and along with his flag I also received the love letters and momentos he sent to my aunt during his service.  As my Dad's flag was already on display in the home I decided to donate his flag to the cemetary and keep the momentos.  My uncle wasn't even burried in a military cemetary but they took it.

 

Please consider donating your Dad's flag to the cemetary he is buried in (if possible, if not then another one) so that it can fly over our veterans and honor them again.  You won't personally witness it but it will comfort a stranger when they visit their loved ones.

 

(For anyone reding this who has donated to a military cemetary - on behalf of my family, thank you!) 

 

(Back to lurking)


What a wonderful suggestion. When the time comes, I will contact the cemetary where he is buried and inquire about this.