Beauty

[geezerette]

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@just bee wrote:

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@geezerette wrote:

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@Eager2Learn wrote:

In my quest to make my office more of an office and less of a junkroom, I gave myself an assignment.

I had what is best described as a plastic "crate". Inside that was a leather tote bag filled with greeeting cards, old cards that I received from 2005-2007, wrapping paper, bows, name tags, twine, tape, etc. About 80%-90% of what was in the bag is now in the garbage or recycled.

I kept tape, blank cards and a pen. S/O kept tissue paper, gold cord for wrapping and 3 angels for hanging. I will clean out and fold the tote and store it in my closet for now. I will try to repurpose the crate. If not, it will go into the trash as well, unless S/O can use it (it originally came from him).

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@Eager2Learn 

Wow, you made quite a dent!  I find wrapping paper, et al some of the hardest to make decisions about.  Especially when I get a gift with some sort of really neat decoration that I want to keep and reuse.  Except my gift-giving is so limited anymore that I rarely reuse anything.  So it sits in the closet.

I've been trying--very slowly--over the last couple of years to declutter my desk.  Let's just say it's still a work in progress.  

It's a big old thing that I've used as a file cabinet and catch-all for forty years.  It's getting to the point that drawers don't work anymore because they're just flat worn out.  But because it has so many nifty places for 'stuff' and I've used it for so long, it's where I have pretty much most of my paperwork and office supplies.  (I still have unopened boxes of paper clips from the '70s.)  

But I know I will (hopefully) eventually be downsizing to a smaller house and this is just too old and too big to move.  Knowing what a traumatic job it would be to eliminate it, I'm trying to start early and go slowly.

But this is one of the 'problem' areas for me to declutter.  It was fairly easy to eliminate some of the stuff.  Admittedly I don't use a lot of this stuff often, but some of it I do use--just not often, so I can't see getting rid of things I'll need to buy at some point.  Right now my problem is that I have no idea what I'll be replacing the desk with, so I don't know how much I should keep and how much to toss.

So I have the luxury of be able to make choices slowly, and hopefully wisely.🤞🦉

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@geezerette 

Desks are very personal.  I purchased a desk in the 80s when I was collecting Asian art.  It's Asian in style: Simple with one drawer.  Pretty minimalist.

I was still in my burl phase, having graduated from a university in Northern California, behind the Redwood Curtain.

The finish on this desk was "burly."  Unfortunately, the burl headboard and antique burl chest that were in the garage perished.

And BH has been sharing this desk and destroying the finish on it.  I will need to have it refinished.  Do I choose a non-burl finish?  A different color?  Still deciding.

Before the fire, the drawer was stuffed.  After the fire, I parted with most of the "very important" papers I'd collected.

We had two other really great desks in another room and those were "let go."

Now those had all sorts of drawers and compartments.  Loved those desks.  BH was not as smitten.

I think you're at the point where you need to try creative visualization.  You have to start visualizing the next chapter.  Where are you?  What do you have around you?

Start picturing yourself in a different environment.  Visualize a typical day.  Design your life.

What are some of the things you would save if you knew a tornado was coming your way?

We all have a tornado coming our way whether it's a actual tornado or not.  What are the most important things right now?

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@just bee 

Part of the trouble I'm having is what to do with the stuff I have to keep even though I don't want to.  Paperwork, for example.  

And yes, I have been visualizing and imagining what my life might look like in another venue.  I don't particularly like what I see, so I have to tell myself I'm going to have to make some big decisions about what will be my new priorities for my remaining lifetime.

As I mentioned to @aprilskies, this lovely little pandemic has put up a small speed bump to my imaginings.  But at the same time, it's also made me more aware of what are choices I have and what are not.  That, and keeping in mind my abilities (or lack thereof) as I age and how I would prefer to deal with that reality.  Options tend to get more limited when you get more limited.

One thing that has entered my imaginings more seriously lately is taking on a "roommate".  Relax, she's a female--and it's more of a mother-daughter relationship than what may be running through your creative little head right now. 🐝😈😉😄

On the surface, it makes a lot of sense.  She's getting a divorce, her finances are limited and she hates to live alone.  I have the resources for a decent size house for us, she's younger than me, loves to cook, clean and garden and thinks I'm wonderful.  Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out, but why look a gift horse in the mouth at this point in my life?  

Privacy is the ultimate issue I have.  I'm a loner by nature, but I do realize that if I live long enough, I'm going to need help.  Assisted living and even nursing homes are almost nonexistent in my town, and those few we have leave much to be desired.  I'd much rather be able to stay in my own home, even if it means having help.  I may be better off giving up some of my privacy while I'm still functional to have someone in-house later.  She'd be gone to work five a days week, spends a lot of time with church activities and has a male friend that also takes up her time, so I'd still have a lot of alone time.  

Right now this angle is still a consideration, on the same plane as what color flooring I'd like.  Just mulling the pros and cons around in my head.  At this point, every direction I consider seems to have a con.  I don't like what I'm visualizing.

[just bee]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@just bee wrote:

---

@geezerette wrote:

---

@Eager2Learn wrote:

In my quest to make my office more of an office and less of a junkroom, I gave myself an assignment.

I had what is best described as a plastic "crate". Inside that was a leather tote bag filled with greeeting cards, old cards that I received from 2005-2007, wrapping paper, bows, name tags, twine, tape, etc. About 80%-90% of what was in the bag is now in the garbage or recycled.

I kept tape, blank cards and a pen. S/O kept tissue paper, gold cord for wrapping and 3 angels for hanging. I will clean out and fold the tote and store it in my closet for now. I will try to repurpose the crate. If not, it will go into the trash as well, unless S/O can use it (it originally came from him).

---

@Eager2Learn 

Wow, you made quite a dent!  I find wrapping paper, et al some of the hardest to make decisions about.  Especially when I get a gift with some sort of really neat decoration that I want to keep and reuse.  Except my gift-giving is so limited anymore that I rarely reuse anything.  So it sits in the closet.

I've been trying--very slowly--over the last couple of years to declutter my desk.  Let's just say it's still a work in progress.  

It's a big old thing that I've used as a file cabinet and catch-all for forty years.  It's getting to the point that drawers don't work anymore because they're just flat worn out.  But because it has so many nifty places for 'stuff' and I've used it for so long, it's where I have pretty much most of my paperwork and office supplies.  (I still have unopened boxes of paper clips from the '70s.)  

But I know I will (hopefully) eventually be downsizing to a smaller house and this is just too old and too big to move.  Knowing what a traumatic job it would be to eliminate it, I'm trying to start early and go slowly.

But this is one of the 'problem' areas for me to declutter.  It was fairly easy to eliminate some of the stuff.  Admittedly I don't use a lot of this stuff often, but some of it I do use--just not often, so I can't see getting rid of things I'll need to buy at some point.  Right now my problem is that I have no idea what I'll be replacing the desk with, so I don't know how much I should keep and how much to toss.

So I have the luxury of be able to make choices slowly, and hopefully wisely.🤞🦉

---

@geezerette 

Desks are very personal.  I purchased a desk in the 80s when I was collecting Asian art.  It's Asian in style: Simple with one drawer.  Pretty minimalist.

I was still in my burl phase, having graduated from a university in Northern California, behind the Redwood Curtain.

The finish on this desk was "burly."  Unfortunately, the burl headboard and antique burl chest that were in the garage perished.

And BH has been sharing this desk and destroying the finish on it.  I will need to have it refinished.  Do I choose a non-burl finish?  A different color?  Still deciding.

Before the fire, the drawer was stuffed.  After the fire, I parted with most of the "very important" papers I'd collected.

We had two other really great desks in another room and those were "let go."

Now those had all sorts of drawers and compartments.  Loved those desks.  BH was not as smitten.

I think you're at the point where you need to try creative visualization.  You have to start visualizing the next chapter.  Where are you?  What do you have around you?

Start picturing yourself in a different environment.  Visualize a typical day.  Design your life.

What are some of the things you would save if you knew a tornado was coming your way?

We all have a tornado coming our way whether it's a actual tornado or not.  What are the most important things right now?

---

@just bee 

Part of the trouble I'm having is what to do with the stuff I have to keep even though I don't want to.  Paperwork, for example.  

And yes, I have been visualizing and imagining what my life might look like in another venue.  I don't particularly like what I see, so I have to tell myself I'm going to have to make some big decisions about what will be my new priorities for my remaining lifetime.

As I mentioned to @aprilskies, this lovely little pandemic has put up a small speed bump to my imaginings.  But at the same time, it's also made me more aware of what are choices I have and what are not.  That, and keeping in mind my abilities (or lack thereof) as I age and how I would prefer to deal with that reality.  Options tend to get more limited when you get more limited.

One thing that has entered my imaginings more seriously lately is taking on a "roommate".  Relax, she's a female--and it's more of a mother-daughter relationship than what may be running through your creative little head right now. 🐝😈😉😄

On the surface, it makes a lot of sense.  She's getting a divorce, her finances are limited and she hates to live alone.  I have the resources for a decent size house for us, she's younger than me, loves to cook, clean and garden and thinks I'm wonderful.  Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out, but why look a gift horse in the mouth at this point in my life?  

Privacy is the ultimate issue I have.  I'm a loner by nature, but I do realize that if I live long enough, I'm going to need help.  Assisted living and even nursing homes are almost nonexistent in my town, and those few we have leave much to be desired.  I'd much rather be able to stay in my own home, even if it means having help.  I may be better off giving up some of my privacy while I'm still functional to have someone in-house later.  She'd be gone to work five a days week, spends a lot of time with church activities and has a male friend that also takes up her time, so I'd still have a lot of alone time.  

Right now this angle is still a consideration, on the same plane as what color flooring I'd like.  Just mulling the pros and cons around in my head.  At this point, every direction I consider seems to have a con.  I don't like what I'm visualizing.

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@geezerette 

The roommate idea isn't that crazy.  I've often thought about what I'd do if BH was suddenly out of the picture.  I thought about housing exchange students, nursing students, older women who had to give up their homes to save some money, a handyman (or woman), or a bunch of schizophrenics who are tired of living in the group homes here that are no better -- and sometimes worse -- than homeless shelters.

How's that for crazy?

Years ago I had a boyfriend tell me that I'd be happy if I never had to leave the house and just had food slid under the door.  And he came across as if he was saying this was a bad thing.

But I do recognize that part of myself that is content to stay inside, hermitized.  It's one reason I have to have a job.  I need a reason to leave the house.  A dog also gives me an excuse to go out.

I could be one of those people who isn't seen by the neighbors for a few weeks and then someone finally calls for a welfare check.  And I'm on the floor or in the tub, past tense and putrid.

Well, that's graphic.  

Yeah, a roommate is not a crazy idea at all.

[KaySD]

@just bee Made me remember one time when I took a suitcase of things I thought were quite nice to a consignment shop. I was all proud of myself for paring down and taking action. Then the shop owner powered through the whole load and only kept 3 things. The rest were not in good enough shape to sell, even for peanuts. Imagine how that felt! Ahahahahahaha!

[KaySD]

@geezerette  Wise words. I think one of the rewards of getting older is realizing what's important, don't you? Like figuring out what you really want to be able to do instead of focusing on some arbitrary measurement. 

[just bee]

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@KaySD wrote:

@just bee Made me remember one time when I took a suitcase of things I thought were quite nice to a consignment shop. I was all proud of myself for paring down and taking action. Then the shop owner powered through the whole load and only kept 3 things. The rest were not in good enough shape to sell, even for peanuts. Imagine how that felt! Ahahahahahaha!

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@KaySD 

There had been so many posts here about the amount of items that were being thrown away by charitable organizations.  Everyone was paring down and donating, but there wasn't enough room to store everything that had been donated.

I still feel bad about so many of my things going straight to landfill after the fire, but I'm pretty sure a lot of the clothes just wouldn't have been appropriate for donation.

I even wonder about a lot of the books.  I had so many old ones and I did save a 1910 copy of Old Mother West Wind.  A donation center might have looked at that and thought: "Who would want this weird old book?"

I'll never know.

[just bee]

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@KaySD wrote:

@geezerette  Wise words. I think one of the rewards of getting older is realizing what's important, don't you? Like figuring out what you really want to be able to do instead of focusing on some arbitrary measurement. 

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@KaySD 

@geezerette 

We were listening to SiriusXM in the car yesterday and they were promoting their new David Bowie channel.

They played a bit from an interview and Bowie had said essentially the same thing.

[just bee]

@geezerette 

I just want to add that I wrote about acquiring a roommate while watching Se7en.  The majority of murder victims lived alone.

But I still think if you find someone you get along with and that someone is in a situation that requires another's help, it's a good thing.  Mutually beneficial.  And she might be a good sounding board.  Bounce some ideas off her about moving into a smaller place.  She will probably have an interesting perspective.

[aprilskies]

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@just bee wrote:

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@KaySD wrote:

@just bee Made me remember one time when I took a suitcase of things I thought were quite nice to a consignment shop. I was all proud of myself for paring down and taking action. Then the shop owner powered through the whole load and only kept 3 things. The rest were not in good enough shape to sell, even for peanuts. Imagine how that felt! Ahahahahahaha!

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@KaySD 

There had been so many posts here about the amount of items that were being thrown away by charitable organizations.  Everyone was paring down and donating, but there wasn't enough room to store everything that had been donated.

I still feel bad about so many of my things going straight to landfill after the fire, but I'm pretty sure a lot of the clothes just wouldn't have been appropriate for donation.

I even wonder about a lot of the books.  I had so many old ones and I did save a 1910 copy of Old Mother West Wind.  A donation center might have looked at that and thought: "Who would want this weird old book?"

I'll never know.

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@KaySD, @just bee, I cant even imagine what the donations centers will have to deal once they are able to open.  There is only so much they can handle and the sad fact is the world is saturated. 

One of the benefits of the virus crisis is that it has helped to slow the world down. I know it is detrimental economically but our earth got a break. 

I have pulled a small bag of donations together but very small.  I am going to take this month and start to filter through things slowly and see what I really can get rid of.  But some of things I know I will be tossing and while I cant stand the fact they will go in to the garbage, the waste was already was created and as @just bee mentioned, it will end up there anyway  The important part is what we do going forward. 

[aprilskies]

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@just bee wrote:

@geezerette 

I just want to add that I wrote about acquiring a roommate while watching Se7en.  The majority of murder victims lived alone.

But I still think if you find someone you get along with and that someone is in a situation that requires another's help, it's a good thing.  Mutually beneficial.  And she might be a good sounding board.  Bounce some ideas off her about moving into a smaller place.  She will probably have an interesting perspective.

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@geezerette @just bee, I agree a roommate might be just what you need and if she isnt around much, you will have your alone time and then maybe enough companion time as well. It could be a great arrangement. 

But, if she is a good friend, I would think long and hard if this is what you really want because you dont want to take the chance on things not working out and then losing an important person in your life. I would have an honest discussion with her beforehand to avoid any issues if it doesnt work out to ease both of your minds. If you choose this route, if both of you go into it well aware of each others expectations, that would alleviate a lot. Hope this was being a debbydowner.  I just think that is the problem with most marriages as well. 

Good luck to whatever you choose to do.  I am sure it will be the right thing for you. 

[aprilskies]

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@just bee wrote:

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@aprilskies wrote:

Hello All, I hope you are all doing well 

@rnmom - yes, being mindful of eating is tougher than it seems.  Full kudos to losing so much and sticking with it. Keep it up. This my third day of being mindful and I feel better already. I have been walking everyday, some better than others, but consistency is what I am striving for. I wasnt so mindful this morning but I have the whole day to even that out and I just finished a 3 mile walk so I am off to a good start. I will do one later as well.  What else is there to do. I am trying to be outside as much as I can. 

I am really not compacting but this year I did buy a few things and they were all basically duds because they caused me to breakout. So, I am done buying products right now and I really want to get down to the basics. I no longer appreciate having a hoard of products. I rather have a hoard of the things I need. That is not to say I wouldnt buy something I really wanted but I am going to try and use up what I have. It felt great to take out my last shampoo and that only happened because I have also used some up as hand soap. 

@KaySD, yes it will be interesting to see how this puzzle will be put back together and how everyone will react. Interesting times for sure.

@Eager2Learn, that is great with your decluttering. I havent been doing much but will not start slowly. Like @geezerette, I want to be more careful of what I toss because at this point if I need it in the future, there is no need to get rid of it. And at this point, I am not sure what it is all that I need.  

I did bag up 7 skirts. For some I dont know if I will ever be that thin again and for others I think I am over. Looking at you peasant skirt. I also tossed in there a wrist pedometer. It was too hard to figure out and the instructions were useless. I dont like the wrist ones.  I wouldnt even use a pedometer at all but I am in a challenge at work so I need to measure my steps.

@geezerette, I have started looking at houses a couple of days ago. I really want a place that is big enough but not huge, has some privacy but is close enough to the city for convenience but not in the thick of it. Yes, good luck to me. I was looking at some houses and loved the house but then who the heck is going to clean that much house. Not I and I am not hiring a cleaner - for now - or maybe ever. I know you are not moving yet but good luck with decluttering slowly. That is another thing, when I move, I am not just going to move things just because. There has got to be a reason it is coming with me.

@just bee, now that you have been in your home for a while, how do you feel with less stuff?

Anyway, I think I chewed your ears off.  I will say so long for now and will tackle some paperwork that has been piling up.  

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@aprilskies 

Refer to my post to @geezerette  regarding creative visualization.

I like your analogy about jigsaw puzzles.  I think it fits.  And it might explain why so many of us have started to do puzzles again.  We're trying to put our lives back together.

Moving into a new space is an opportunity.  You have said that you feel stuck.  Moving into a new space is a good way to get unstuck.  Again, refer to my previous post about creative visualization.

Where do you see yourself?

Start looking for that place.

What do you see in that place?  What's not there?

Is the house near a big park or an outdoor mall where you can walk and explore?

Is there a yard or just a patio?

How many rooms?  Is it contemporary?  Traditional?  What's the outside like?  Wood?  Brick?  Stucco?

What colors are you seeing?

It was interesting reimagining our home.  We made some sweeping changes.

I am slow to unpack because I don't want to be reminded of the things I lost.  But I do have to remind myself that I would lose them one day anyway.  What I kept were reminders.  I didn't have to have fifty things to remind me of one thing.  Instead, one thing was enough.

I don't feel smothered by stuff.  The house is lighter.  I have more options.

Options = freedom.

What kind of options are you thinking about right now?

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@just bee, truthfully what I want is all over the place and that is the problem. 

Yes, not feeling smothered by stuff is good. While I am no longer smothered from decluttering so many years now, I still have way too much stuff.  But, my major decluttering is on hold now until I figure out what I am going to do living wise. If I get a bigger place, the stuff that is making me crazy now, wont be a problem and might even come in useful. What is hard now is I dont have a place for a lot things and pulling things out and using them is a chore. 

But yes - options = freedom, and freedom is what I am striving for.