Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,592
Registered: ‎05-18-2017

Re: Why would she do this ????

I so agree with you @becca lou.  Seems like such a lot of money to spend for such a short event.  Of course,  I didn't see it that way back when I was 24 and getting married.  I had a nice wedding, but I didn't dictate what anyone wore.  My mom coordinated her outfit with the wedding party and I can't remember what my MIL wore.  I was just happy she attended.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,760
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

Re: Why would she do this ????

In my opinion , so sad to say it, but not worth the hassale.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,947
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????



ITA with other posters who saw this as a “power-play.”

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,404
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Why would she do this ????

[ Edited ]

@becca lou wrote:

@Lilysmom Best to just elope , less conflicts, and much friendlier on the wallet.


Eloping can cause a lot of conflict!  Parents (and others) can be very hurt when they find out they were excluded from seeing their children get married.  And many people regret not having had at least a small, simple wedding and end up blaming their spouse.


I had a large, fairly upscale wedding, and there were no conflicts.  None at all.  Not every wedding has conflicts and not every elopement goes smoothly.


Running off and getting married works well for some people, but certainly not all.  Yes, it might be friendlier on the wallet, but for sure there's no guarantee it will be conflict-free.



Regular Contributor
Posts: 223
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Why would she do this ????

When I got married it was at city hall. The ceremony was 10 minutes. We both dressed up in the best we had. The license was $30 and both wedding rings total were about $400.


We didn't have the family or friends to justify a huge celebration. We did our vow ceremony and went to lunch with a couple of people. I wanted to start my marriage and marriage is far different from the hoopla of a wedding. 


I don't get the crazy excitement over weddings. They are expensive. I don't know why it matters what the mother of the bride or groom wears. My mother had actually made a faux pas years ago attending my sibling's wedding. She wore a white dress. I didn't know until years later that was a terrible thing that it was competing with the bride.


Weddings turn people crazy. They make unimportant things important. It happens a lot with brides and I've witnessed one male in a gay relationship turn ridiculous too.


The wedding dress is white a color that flatters almost no woman and they need at least 3 pounds of cosmetics to look even photo ready. Then there is the flowers etc. Its just a large sum of money for one day. Society places so much emphasis on this ceremony. Another thing about weddings is a lot of guests actually don't want to go. Weddings place burden on the guests so that they need to buy attire and buy a gift and if the family dynamic is strange that can be a lot to have to witness too.


I understand many women love it I am not one of them but why get crazy about what's right or wrong. Why the rules?


There is a lot of unknown in this story. This sounds like the mother's relationship with her son and future daughter in law is pretty complicated. It sounds like like it may be the case for the couple getting married. The bride might be more bridezilla since she had to wait (choose) 10 years to get there. Many questions.


I believe if this couple wants to get so picky about the attire of guests then  they should  pay for that attire and if they don't want to they should be grateful and humble that anyone takes time out to celebrate their union at all.  As long as the guests don't have grubby tattered clothes on it shouldn't matter what they wear.