Among Friends

[winker]

I agree with you . I'm 83 and have decided just live your life and say and do as you please.I think we all have the same feelings. No one in this world is perfect.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@TX-starlight  Sounds like you were spending too much time together, and who cares what she thinks?

  You don't need her approval - or anyone else's.

  Phhhfffttt.........

  Water off a duck's back and move on with your fabulous self.

[Suzeecat]

I can relate.  I am 63 and recently walked in on a conversation someone was having ABOUT ME.  I didn't hear exactly what was being said, but it was obvious by the tone of their voice and their reaction when they noticed me that it what was being said wasn't positive.  It stung but, upon reflection, I realized that whatever they said could very well have been true - because I felt myself becoming a crabby old lady.  At that point I decided to make more of an effort to keep the negativity to myself and to be the kind of person that I would like others to be. 

That being said, you don't have an obligation to put up with friends who hurt your feelings and don't apologize.  Friends can come and go, and sometimes it's just time to move on. 

[Cakers3]

@TX-starlight  I'm sorry.  There is nothing more hurtful than when a "friend" says something like that. 

You have to remember that not everyone expresses herself in the right way; not knowing exactly what she said I cannot say if she really meant to hurt you, is just clueless, or just plain stupid.

The point is you had your say and it looks like you are moving on from this.

Someone once told me what somebody thinks about me is none of my business.  That has stayed with me and it's so true. 

I love my family and they are all I need in RL.  I care deeply for friends I've made here and those who would try to drag me down just do not matter.

As we age most of us learn to really rearrange our perceptions of reality and adjust.

Be happy; life can still be joyful and I know you can do this.

[qualitygal]

@Suzeecat, 

---

@Suzeecat wrote:

 to be the kind of person that I would like others to be. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I once used a quote on here, "Lord, let me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am."  

I don't want to be mean or rude to anyone, in the same respect, not being a doormat, has a good feeling.

[Imaoldhippie]

Im 73 and I can hardly tolerate being around people.  You cant give and opinion anymore because someone will be offended.  You have to be politically correct.  The whole world has changed and I dont care for it one bit.  So I chose to stay out of the public as much as possible.  I dont miss any of it one bit.  Just giving a thought or an opinion on these boards will bring you grief.  I have  decided for my own peace of mind that I will not respond to any negative responses to anything I have posted.

So yes I am a crabby old lady and I like it.

[mac116]

I MAY have become a crabby old lady.  I know that I prefer to spend time alone at home to all of the running around, shopping, parties, etc. that I used to do.

But I KNOW that my husband has become a curmudgeon!!!  He complains about EVERYTHING, and I thank God that he still goes to work each day.  I'm not sure what I will do when he retires.

[NicksmomESQ]

   I too have spent my life being there for & pleasing others. Whether it was friends or family they could always count on me.I also put up with all of their ******.That included   them not being there for me. A couple of years ago I decided no more!! I was physically & mentally exhausted.

  I announced to DH that I/ we were changing course.His response was “it’s about time”.As a result we have considerably narrowed our circle.We are much happier!!

  In fact a few people noticing the difference are treating us much better.One couple in particular had invited us to their house for a party.They ignored us completely.Not the first time.We picked ourselves up & quietly left.They never asked us why.All future attempts by them to get together for months were ignored by us.

   We saw them at a friends wedding.They came rushing over to us.They spent the evening following DH & I around. They haven’t  treated us this well in 30 years!! They apparently got the “silent” message.

   Dr. Phil says “You teach people how to treat you”.He is so right!! Life is too short.Live it in your truth!!

[IMW]

I totally relate. I prefer 

my own company and that of my husband and kids and grandkids.

I can’t seem to tolerate people. They get on my nerves.

I don’t feel the difficulty in putting up with them is not worth what the relationship brings into my life.

All my life I gave in many capacities, when my mom died, and then I retired I said enough. Much less drama in my life.

[emmysmom]

---

@TX-starlight wrote:

I'm a senior lady, & something odd is going on with me. Lately, it seems lots of little things get on my nerves. I'm about to become a hermit/recluse, just not to have to deal with people. Recently a friend really hurt my feeling. She knows she did, but hasn't made an attempt to apologize. I haven't spoken to her since. I mentioned the incident to another friend of ours. The 2nd friend tried to somewhat smooth it over, by saying the other couldn't understand why I got so upset. SO' the 1 who said it to begin with, knows she was wrong. I have sent this lady many cards during her time of sickness & birthdays. I'm not going to make a big deal of it, but I'm also not going to forget it. (The comment was about my weight & health). Most of the time I wouldn't have really thought too much, but this really irritated me. There are lots of other things with different friends that have started to irritate me. Do I need something to take "the edge off", or is this normal in aging?? I just don't feel the need to let people walk on me, & say something like this to me. I would never, in a million years, say anything that I know might offend a friend. I'm not 1 to say "you NEED to do this or that", I keep thoughts to myself. 

*(I'll probably regret this posting).

---

I totally understand...I've had to let some friends go..they were toxic. I wouldn't say offensive things..and I want to be treated the same. I'm retired and a senior and I bet many feel the same! I'm so sorry this happened to you! xxx