Personal rant - Page 5

emmysmom · ‎06-22-2010

@TX-starlight wrote:
@catwhisperer Tks! I'm almost 66, I was beginning to think I was the "crabby old lady down the street",lol. That's exactly how I feel, tired of everyone's nonsense. Don't even get me started on my family, who thinks I'm non-existant (a whole other thread).

I can relate to that too re: my kids...!

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West

TaylorBrown · ‎02-19-2014

I think as we get older, our tolerance level lessens. Depending on how deep the friend relationship is, I would think that each of you could make candid comments to each other. If she meant what she said and it offended you, once you told her that, it would be up to her to apologize. If there was nothing to apologize for then that's that. I would not have addressed it with another friend because they were not part of the original issue.

LIndaMJ · ‎11-02-2014

Thank you so much @TX-starlight. For so long I thought it was “just me”.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@Mistic wrote:
@TX-starlight~
May I join the Group? I turned 62 in June. So much ******/stuff has happened in the last year...

I informed all my Children & my Husband that starting on my Birthday? This was the year of Mom. I was going to do what I wanted, within reason of course. "LOL" And I was going to say what I thought. Another within reason of course. "LOL"

They all looked at me like I was Crazy! Of course we all laughed and joked about it, but guess what? More than once in the last 6 weeks, I have been reminded by someone ~ THIS IS THE YEAR OF MOM! GO MOM GO!

Hang In There! You Are "NOT" Alone!!!

I am also 62 - I laughed at your posts - it made me think of Frankie on The Middle!

63mkm · ‎09-05-2010

I'm 55 and feel the same way! Wow, wonder what I will be like in 10 years! LOL!

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@gmkb wrote:
I find this entire thread very sad. Only one person even suggested that you forgive and move forward.
What have you gained by not speaking to your friend? Nothing that I can see.
My suggestion would be to make contact, explain in a calm friendly way that you felt hurt by what she said. She will probably say that she did not mean to hurt you, but was only giving you some advice.
Accept that explanation and you will be free of the burden of feeling hurt, you will restore the friendship, and she will probably not mention your weight again. You will be the winner.

I was a manager for most of my career. I always told my staff and the customers - I can't fix it if I don't know about it. Maybe it would be good to bring it up gently. Using "I" statements - "I wanted to bring something up that's bothering me" "I felt (((((( when you said (((((((". "I know you probably didn't mean it to come out that way but I am sensitive about ((((((.

Too many relationships are lost because people don't dare to come out and say what's on their mind. I guess you have to decide if the friendship is worth it or not.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

Here's a funny: My MIL who was a feisty lady to say the least and passed earlier this year at 96 (was totally with it) used to say:

when I was little I had to please my parents

when I was in school I had to please the teachers

when I was married I had to please my husband

when I worked I had to please my employer

Once her husband passed, she retired, she said "Now I don't have to please anyone but me."

And isn't that the truth!

However

I am always nice to strangers. Strangers sometimes come up to me in the stores "do you know where such and such is?" I am always nice. You know why? They might have a spouse in the hospital, a kid who is difficult, a health condition (including anxiety or depression) or just lost their best friend or dog.

I don't say yes anymore to stuff I don't want to do, but I am always nice to strangers.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@gmkb wrote:
@Isobel Archer. 1. Perhaps the friend does not know and perhaps does not feel the need to apologize. 2. We forgive because it is required of us. It frees our mind, we do not live with the pain of the hurt. It does not absolve the one who made the hurtful comment of their mistake. 3. We are always better emotionally for having taken the higher road.
4. By the OP having a sincere talk with her friend, problems will be resolved. Silence and hurt feelings resolve nothing.

From the OP: "The 2nd friend tried to somewhat smooth it over, by saying the other couldn't understand why I got so upset. SO' the 1 who said it to begin with, knows she was wrong,"

I'm not sure how you get from that statement that she "perhaps does not know." Now I agree that maybe she saw nothing wrong with what she said and feels no need to apologize, but she clearly knows her comment upset and hurt the OP.

As to forgiveness, I have a hard time with lecturing other people about what they "need" to forgive. And no - even wanting very much to forgive and resolving to do so does not necessiarly erase the hurt I agree that deliberately holding on to and continually focusing on the hurt does no good, but insisting - without knowing the entire situation - that all that is required is a "sincere talk...and problems will be resolved" is minimizing OP's hurt and telling her this is really her fault for not just taking the "higher road."

grandma r · ‎10-26-2010

@TX-starlight. You are certainly not alone!!!! I am at the point where I can't tolerate stupidity or ignorance. And, at my age, I am not going to either!!!

I totally understand how you would be upset about those comments. As I've recently learned it is either ignorance or jealousy on the part of that person. Regardless, don't dwell on the comments. You will only hurt yourself. Instead, distance yourself from her. None of us need negativity in our lives. Someone who is a real friend would never say anything to intentionally hurt you.

In addition, I find so much ignorance and hatred on the news, etc that I don't watch. Our country is not in a good place right now and it makes me sick!!! I watch PBS instead.