Personal rant - Page 3

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Some people just wear you out.

how true!!!! But, you can walk away at any time.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

This may sound silly, but what works for me to clear my head, is to just simply go for a walk. Make it a daily thing. I end up feeling so good after my daily hikes! Clears my head and benefits my body.

"Pure Michigan"

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

I find this entire thread very sad. Only one person even suggested that you forgive and move forward.

What have you gained by not speaking to your friend? Nothing that I can see.

My suggestion would be to make contact, explain in a calm friendly way that you felt hurt by what she said. She will probably say that she did not mean to hurt you, but was only giving you some advice.

Accept that explanation and you will be free of the burden of feeling hurt, you will restore the friendship, and she will probably not mention your weight again. You will be the winner.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@gmkb wrote:
I find this entire thread very sad. Only one person even suggested that you forgive and move forward.
What have you gained by not speaking to your friend? Nothing that I can see.
My suggestion would be to make contact, explain in a calm friendly way that you felt hurt by what she said. She will probably say that she did not mean to hurt you, but was only giving you some advice.
Accept that explanation and you will be free of the burden of feeling hurt, you will restore the friendship, and she will probably not mention your weight again. You will be the winner.

According to the OP, the "friend" is well aware that what she said hurt OP's feelings - she told the other friend that she didn't see why the OP "got so upset." Hello, since she clearly knows OP was hurt by her comment, she does not need to be told, she needs to apologize.

I'm not sure why OP needs to accept anything short of an apology at this point.

And it's fine to say someone should forgive, when you are not the one who has been hurt.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

More than likely that person is one that keeps saying hurtful things to others and will never change. My sister is like that and she would apologize and the( well sort of then by turning it on me for not knowing she was right and not admitting it and being too sensitive)then within a week or so was back to her old judgemental negative self. This scene weas repeated all throughout our lives and she knows what she is doing and will never change. She tries to tear others down because she is so miserable in life! That is why I no longer have any contact with her or others like that!! I can't consider them friends if they repeatedly do this!!

Mimi 1883 · ‎03-15-2010

@TX-starlight Maybe your friend is at that point in her life as well. Maybe she felt that it’s time to speak up. Something to think about.

F/N/A luvstogarden

maggi the cat · ‎03-16-2010

I understand the feeling. I often feel irritatated by little things, but I know a lot of mine is fueled by the state of society. It depresses me to see the rudeness, coarseness, and generally thoughtless attitude of a lot of society. I didn't grow up that way. I feel like I have to look around me for danger when I'm in unfamiliar places, and people often now think they can say whatever they want without consequences. You are not alone.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

I understand. I'm in my mid 60s, retired, and find myself less tolerant of rudeness and ignorance. I have to keep reminding myself that I can't fix others and I can't let their ignorance and rudeness change who I am. I've been working very hard to let things go because there isn't anything I can do about them. It's particularly difficult due to politics as I'm very active in political workings in my state and nationally. But I also have to balance it with what's best for me.

Life is a lot better and happier since I've been working on my outlook and not letting so much get to me. I make myself think about why it bothers me and if I can't change it, I have to decide if I want to get involved to change it or if I should let it go. It's not always easy but it works for me.

If you think it's depression or anxiety, talk to your doctor. Yes, these can make people irritable, short-tempered, etc.

Good luck to you.

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

@Isobel Archer. 1. Perhaps the friend does not know and perhaps does not feel the need to apologize. 2. We forgive because it is required of us. It frees our mind, we do not live with the pain of the hurt. It does not absolve the one who made the hurtful comment of their mistake. 3. We are always better emotionally for having taken the higher road.

4. By the OP having a sincere talk with her friend, problems will be resolved. Silence and hurt feelings resolve nothing.

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

Wow...I am so glad you posted this because I thought it was just me. I have spent my whole life trying to get along with others and agreeing to what they say just to keep peace etc etc. Always keeping my opinions to myself unless I was sure the other agreed. Always trying to be supportive and never hurting anyone. Now at 67 I really don't care what anyone thinks. I always counted my friends as the best part of my life but I realized that it was mostly me being a friend to them. Well I am done. I would still never hurt anyone on purpose but I am tired of walking on eggshells. I am tired of excusing people's rudeness and inconsideration and making excuses for them. My grandmother always said "You smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone." Sad to say that is true.