Among Friends

[Puzzle Piece]

To forgive or not to forgive.  To overlook or not. 

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce.  They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.  

My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch.  I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life. 

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?  

[spumoni99]

@Puzzle PieceSounds like she has made her decision and you don't have a choice.

[Kachina624]

@Puzzle Piece.  I would give your friend some space and not contact her again for a couple of weeks.  Then I'd tell her how hurtful her word were to you, that you understand she was stressed and that you are going to try to forgive and forget, then drop it.  Hopefully somewhere along the line she will apologize and clear the air.

Words, once spoken, cannot be unheard.   Keep this in mind when you know you're upset.

[candys mine]

@Puzzle Piece   Depends on if You want to continue the relationship.

If they love their cat like family it is a VERY stressful time.  Not very nice to lay it on You, but the need to vent when you feel Helpless to save a life is strong.

If you want to test the waters and the cat has been euthanized, send a sympathy card.

The ball will be in their court. 

It's never wrong to be kind.

[kitcat51]

You know what was said, if you can forgive it then reach out, if not let the friendship go...only you can make that decision @Puzzle Piece. I'm a kind person but sometimes what is said to me crosses a line & there's no going back.

[Janey2]

Walk away. I believe what people say. If she regrets her words she will contact you. 

[RedTop]

I would be inclined to believe the outburst was from stress; let it go and wait for them to reach out to me.  

However, odd, unexplainable outbursts like this was the first noticeable sign of dementia in my mother, and other family members.  

[Marp]

After a brief waiting period I would contact the friend and express my sympathy for the loss of their cat.

During the brief waiting period I would evaluate what words were said that stuck with your friend for weeks/months, why they were said and under what circumstances and why I was unaware that the words would be hurtful.

After doing all that if I was interested in continuing the friendship I would then ask to get together to talk things out.

[mrshckynut]

@Puzzle Piece   an acquaintance if they are bringing up past disagreements.       they would have to make the first move

a friend would be different depending on the why

mrshckynut 

[elated]

I would be uncomfortable in this friendship because you will be walking a tightrope. Yes, stress does affect you but to take it out on you is going too far. I would just move on because your relationship has been damaged and I don't think you can forgive hurtful words. If she calls and apologizes that would be a different story but I wouldn't hold your breath. Not every relationship is worth saving. Your choice, your friend??