Ouch - Page 4

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

@Puzzle Piece - How many cats does she have, and why is one of them going to be euthanized?

That seems like a drastic situation. Is there no way the cat can't go to a shelter for possible adoption?

Your friend is probably so stressed. Unfortunately she took it out on you. I would contact her now and say something like you don't want to bother her, but you are here for her if she needs you - if you want to do this (this is what I would do). If she doesn't respond, I would let it go and not contact her again.

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

@LizzieInSRQ wrote:
@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:
@Puzzle Piece wrote:
To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce. They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.
My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch. I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?
Always forgive. (this does not mean you put yourself in a position to be hurt over and over again)

It never hurts to extend a kindness. Sending a note later this month might soften their heart (ie sorry for your circumstances, hope things look up soon). Even if nothing comes of it, you being the bigger person matters.

Sorry this happened. I'm sure it's just their excess stress at play.

Being the bigger person...it's not a contest. The person literally said they never wanted to talk to her again.

Of course it's not a contest. What a silly thought. Sometimes things are said in a moment of passion and/or in a way that is not how they intended and the person regrets it. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and extending an olive branch. After all, we need a kinder world, not a coarser one.

Coastalcarolina · ‎04-02-2015

I myself, am sensitive natured. If it wasn't a close friend, I would/could let it go. Give the person some time and speak cordially next time I bumped into them. See if they respond back the same. If not, then they obviously are done. I would be too.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I would examine what she said that I said. If there is merit in her anger, I'd apologize for what hurt her so badly if it is warranted. When something like this happens, I look first at me.

I recently told a relative to not contact me after years of abusive words and actions from her. I thought long about it, and decided she wasn't going to change and was a toxic presence I couldn't deal with.

My point is that maybe what you said hit a nerve with her that you didn't understand at the time. Maybe it was a one time thing that you said and didn't realize the impact it would have. Beyond that, you have to decide if the relationship is worth it to you. Sometimes it slips up on you that it is someone you don't want in your life. People don't much change. Apologies are few and far in this world, and heartfelt ones even rarer.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@Puzzle Piece

You referred to this person as an "acquaintance", and not a "friend". Does this mean that you are not really close to this person? I ask this because I do not consider acquaintances as friends, but just casual people that I have surface level conversations with and not serious conversations.

Anyway, that is sad about the cat and I am sure this person was very stressed out about it and very sad. If you feel this person did take out their frustrations, pain, etc. on you, then that was, of course, not fair to you. However, people often act out in painful situations.

I personally would let the situation alone for now. Give this person a few days or so and then contact them just to ask them how they are doing and go from there. Perhaps, you will even get an apology for their acting out on you. I guess all of this depends upon the reaction you get from the person after contacting them. If this person is really not a close friend and they are really prone to this type of behavior toward you, then I would just go my way, and let her go her way.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I think i would give it time out for her,if she contacts you ,then it is up to you to decide if you want to continue this relation ship.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

@beachmom The person has 10 cats and this one has serious renal failure.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks for explaining @Puzzle Piece. It's sad, but I certainly understand why the one with renal failure shouldn't suffer any longer.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce. They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.
My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch. I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?

@Puzzle Piece

Wow.

Right now .... do nothing. That's a lot to process.

IMO, having an attempt at a conversation with this person wouldn't be very productive.

In the future, who knows?

If she were to reach out to you with a massive and heartfelt apology, you might want to see if the relationship could be repaired.

But, who knows how you'll feel at that point in time?