Not Sure How to Handle this Situation - Page 10

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
@Frosted Cake wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
@hckynut wrote:

None of us needs more problems, but the simple reality is that if you aren't willing to risk more problems with regard to this situation then, as many have suggested, simply walk away. Stop ruminating about follow-up emails, playing 'gotcha', or whether or not she's still willing to help you. At this point, what help do you think she can give? If, at some point, you're in stronger position both personally and professionally, you can follow this up then. To do so now could just net you a world of hurt. She might be chastised, warned, or reprimanded, but unless there is a history of problems, most employers have a system of progressive discipline and employees don't tend to be dismissed based on a first offense, unless it's truly egregious. While this might seem egregious to you and others, odds are, it won't be perceived that way by her employer. They will most likely simply document that she is being disciplined and counseled.

I disagree. This is a very serious situation, and there could be legal ramifications. I am sure they will take it very, very seriously. The OP may never know exactly how it's handled, but there is no way they will take a situation like this and simply write this woman up and shove something in her file. That absolutely will not happen. This is not a small infraction. It's a very big thing, and it needs to be stopped immediately, in no uncertain terms. They can be in a whole lot of trouble if they are employing someone who does what she's doing. There's no doubt they will protect themselves to be sure that it doesn't look as though they condone it. The fallout could be massive.

You're also assuming this is her first offense, but it's pretty likely that it isn't. Either way, though, what she did is most definitely not okay and it crosses a line that they know very well cannot be crossed. In addition to being dead wrong and inappropriate, she's shown extremely poor judgment, a clear ulterior motive, an inability to concentrate on the job she was hired to do, and outright defiance. This is not some small workplace infraction. It's much, much more than that. In a position such as hers, she is not allowed to even talk about religion, never mind push her religious agenda on someone else. She knows that, and she did it anyway.

As I said, the OP may never know exactly how it ends up being handled, and that's okay. I don't see "a world of hurt" here at all. She's absolutely doing the right thing by letting them know, and I'm sure that's what they'll tell her. She doesn't need this woman anymore - She can take the good things that she's learned, build on them, find other resources if she feels she needs them, continue her job search, and she'll be fine.

IMO it's rarely a good idea to simply ignore and look the other way.

@NYC Susan @Frosted Cake @stevieb

Very well stated, @NYC Susan !!!

Another version of this manipulation would be if a woman needed help or career counselling, and a man said he'd help her if she had secks with him. Now, certainly, no one disputes that would be wrong ... I hope.

Whenever someone abuses their position it should be reported. There could be enormous legal liability here.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

If she is refusing to help you because you won't attend her church - clearly she is out of line.

However, if she has already provided you all the help she can - or if she is willing to continue helping you that may be another matter.

Also, context is important too. Did she simply ask you to church upon meeting you or in the middle of giving you interview advice?

Or is it possible that you were sharing concerns and fears about being unemployed or other personal concerns and she offered church as someone might suggest counseling or recommend yoga to someone complaining of joint pain?

You have presented this as she demanded your church attendance as a price for helping you - and now you are reporting her on that basis.

I hope that is indeed the whole story if it turns out they fire her.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@NYC Susan wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
@Frosted Cake wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
@hckynut wrote:

None of us needs more problems, but the simple reality is that if you aren't willing to risk more problems with regard to this situation then, as many have suggested, simply walk away. Stop ruminating about follow-up emails, playing 'gotcha', or whether or not she's still willing to help you. At this point, what help do you think she can give? If, at some point, you're in stronger position both personally and professionally, you can follow this up then. To do so now could just net you a world of hurt. She might be chastised, warned, or reprimanded, but unless there is a history of problems, most employers have a system of progressive discipline and employees don't tend to be dismissed based on a first offense, unless it's truly egregious. While this might seem egregious to you and others, odds are, it won't be perceived that way by her employer. They will most likely simply document that she is being disciplined and counseled.

I disagree. This is a very serious situation, and there could be legal ramifications. I am sure they will take it very, very seriously. The OP may never know exactly how it's handled, but there is no way they will take a situation like this and simply write this woman up and shove something in her file. That absolutely will not happen. This is not a small infraction. It's a very big thing, and it needs to be stopped immediately, in no uncertain terms. They can be in a whole lot of trouble if they are employing someone who does what she's doing. There's no doubt they will protect themselves to be sure that it doesn't look as though they condone it. The fallout could be massive.

You're also assuming this is her first offense, but it's pretty likely that it isn't. Either way, though, what she did is most definitely not okay and it crosses a line that they know very well cannot be crossed. In addition to being dead wrong and inappropriate, she's shown extremely poor judgment, a clear ulterior motive, an inability to concentrate on the job she was hired to do, and outright defiance. This is not some small workplace infraction. It's much, much more than that. In a position such as hers, she is not allowed to even talk about religion, never mind push her religious agenda on someone else. She knows that, and she did it anyway.

As I said, the OP may never know exactly how it ends up being handled, and that's okay. I don't see "a world of hurt" here at all. She's absolutely doing the right thing by letting them know, and I'm sure that's what they'll tell her. She doesn't need this woman anymore - She can take the good things that she's learned, build on them, find other resources if she feels she needs them, continue her job search, and she'll be fine.

IMO it's rarely a good idea to simply ignore and look the other way.

@NYC Susan @Frosted Cake @stevieb

Very well stated, @NYC Susan !!!

Another version of this manipulation would be if a woman needed help or career counselling, and a man said he'd help her if she had secks with him. Now, certainly, no one disputes that would be wrong ... I hope.

Whenever someone abuses their position it should be reported. There could be enormous legal liability here.

And as she said she lives in CA in a liberal urban area, the dislike by authorities of what this woman did/is doing will be greater, with a greater potential for bad publicity, than if it occurred in the South or Midwest, i.e. TPTB and the public will feel very strongly about it - as I think they would in NYC, Chicago, etc.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Frosted Cake · ‎02-01-2016

I wanted to update everyone.

I called the city mgr's office. I talked to a lady (but didn't give her all the information, just that I had a complaint). She said she would have someone call me back. I haven't heard back as yet.

I'm not sure what to expect, but I'll let you know if and when I get a call back and what transpires.

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

Yes, please let us know what the outcome is.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

You may need to call someone else if you don't get a call back. I agree with others that this is a very big deal and needs to be reported. She is really preying on the vulnerable which is a complete misuse of her position.

My advice - when you call and speak to someone (anyone), ask them their name and make notes of the conversation. If you don't hear back, perhaps contact the city's human resources department and let them know that you have a complaint about the behavior of a city employee. Keep the emails - You may need to print them all out into one neat stack and walk right over and show Human Resources.

Im sorry that you felt so pressured by someone paid by taxpayers to help you. I'm confident that you will get the support that you need by someone more qualified to provide it to you.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

What this woman did is highly inappropriate and violates the separation of church and state. In addition, her proselytizing was absolutely obnoxious. She violated your freedom of religion on that one. This woman would do quite well in Iran. Please let us know if you get that call back and good luck in your job search.