Among Friends

[ID2]

Does it make me a bad mom because I didn't cry when my kids left home? Because I didn't. I knew it was the way its supposed to be. Kids grow up and move onto their own lives. Sure, I miss my kids, but I remember being their age and life is just beginning for them. I raised them well and pushed them out of the nest. 

[CherryHugs]

That is totally normal!! I have cried when we had my Aunt for a weeks visit and she left!! Give yourself time. 

[CANDLEQUEEN]

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@NycVixen wrote:

You are a great mom. There is nothing wrong with you. I wish I had a mom or MIL like you. In my case, both haven't been supportive of our relationship like they should've been and it's 10 years together and 5 years of marriage.

You are loving, supportive, helpful and engaged without being obtrusive or overly possessive. You miss your boy and that's normal. It will take a while. IMO the important thing is to overcome the feeling of loss in a reasonable amount of time. My MIL is still not over it and acts out towards me to this day.

Please know that you have done everything to be certain your son grows up to be a caring and independent young man. It is now the time for him to move to the next stage of his life and for you as well. Relish the fact that he's able to move on his own and help him so it goes well. When the time comes, you will find a new path and you and your son will meet many, many times again as you both continue your journeys.

Change and adaptation is part of life and being able to do it successfully is to be applauded. Congratulations to you both!

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@NycVixen I just wanted to say I really enjoy your posts NycVixen...Always so full of wisdom, and encouragement.....Just wanted to say that!

[bonnielu]

My greatest fear is to someday be alone without a partner to share my life with.  I have four daughters with families of their own.  I just don't think as kind as they are that I would ever fit or be happy.  

Presently we have lots of friends that share our passion ,square dancing.  I guess that would be my savior... keeping busy and dance.  

[Cakers3]

@qvc chick  So when your daughter moved out your son was living at home and you didn't experience empy nest back then.

I'm confused as to why you had a problem when your daughter moved out when you were not left alone back then.

[NicksmomESQ]

@qvc chick   There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!! You are a wonderful loving mother,period.

  My only child still lives home.When he completes law school in 2 years I know that he’s going to move out.He will be 28 at that time.

  I know that both DH & I are going to cry a lot.We’re a close family & it’s going to hurt.But at the same time I will be brimming with pride at my son’s accomplishments.

  We as good parents raise our children to work hard, follow their dreams & become independent!! Yet when they do, as proud as we are of them it still hurts!!  That’s ok.

   Just remember what a wonderful job you’ve done. Remember how much your son loves you.The impact you’ve had on his life is immeasurable.He will hold you close no matter where he lives!!

[NycVixen]

Wow @CANDLEQUEEN that's so sweet to take the time to say. My DH is always saying I write well and should devote more time to it. Thanks so much for your beautiful post.

Love should not be selfish but encouraging. When someone truly loves you, it connotes a sense of empowerment that you can accomplish anything. When you stumble, it is not used against you but it's rather a lesson in humility. When there is failure, it is not seen as a personal failure but as a setback that with hard work can be overcome. Every child and person deserves this but many don't receive it.

Giving someone your time and the best version of yourself is what every person and pet deserves. I consciously spend time with those I love so they know how important they are to me. That alone is a true gift of love.

[BExplorer]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@qvc chick  So when your daughter moved out your son was living at home and you didn't experience empy nest back then.

I'm confused as to why you had a problem when your daughter moved out when you were not left alone back then.

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@Cakers3  I'm not @qvc chick but think I may share her experience in this.  Though I still had a son at home, I cried my eyes out when my daughter moved out.  It's not always about whether or not there is another child left at home.  It is hard to watch each of them leave. 

[qbetzforreal]

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@ID2 wrote:

Does it make me a bad mom because I didn't cry when my kids left home? Because I didn't. I knew it was the way its supposed to be. Kids grow up and move onto their own lives. Sure, I miss my kids, but I remember being their age and life is just beginning for them. I raised them well and pushed them out of the nest. 

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@ID2- No.lol My mom commendeered my room like a week after I left for school. 

[Cakers3]

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@BExplorer wrote:

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@Cakers3 wrote:

@qvc chick  So when your daughter moved out your son was living at home and you didn't experience empy nest back then.

I'm confused as to why you had a problem when your daughter moved out when you were not left alone back then.

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@Cakers3  I'm not @qvc chick but think I may share her experience in this.  Though I still had a son at home, I cried my eyes out when my daughter moved out.  It's not always about whether or not there is another child left at home.  It is hard to watch each of them leave. 

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@BExplorer  She said she was left alone when the daughter moved out.  I'm not going to get into a contest over this; I asked a reasonable question for clarification.

The thread is still there.