Among Friends

[qvc chick]

So I helped my son and his girlfriend move into their own place yesterday.  Helped unload, and spent the day with them.

I promptly returned home and cried my eyes out.  I miss him!

Ok, so what is wrong with me??

[QVCkitty1]

---

@qvc chick wrote:

So I helped my son and his girlfriend move into their own place yesterday.  Helped unload, and spent the day with them.

I promptly returned home and cried my eyes out.  I miss him!

Ok, so what is wrong with me??

---

Give yourself a little time to adjust to the " new normal " , you might find that living alone isn't all that bad.🌺

[qualitygal]

Nothing, it's called human mom.  Give it time. They didn't leave planet earth, it's still ok.

[Alison Wonderland]

Nothing is wrong with you. It's hard, but it gets better.

Twenty years ago, I left my family in California and moved to Texas by myself. I had no family and few friends in my new place. I would up hating the job I moved here for. I missed my family and my friends and I cried a lot. I visited my family twice a year and everytime I got on the plane back to Texas, I spent the first 15 minutes of the flight in tears.

It's hard to make new friends as an adult, but I found some volunteer groups, knitting groups, book clubs, and political organizations to join and made new friends. I started to feel better and had new people to talk to and new activities to take up my time.

I don't want to make this a political thread, so this is NOT about partisan politics at all, but one of the nice things about joining a political organization or volunteering on a campaign means you're meeting with people who likely share the same values as you - no matter which side of the fence you fall on or what those values are! It's easier to talk to people when you have an idea of where the baseline is. In book clubs, knitting groups, dog parks,etc, you may have a more diverse group. That's also great, but it's nice to have one group where you more or less know what you're getting into and don't have to worry about saying something that everyone else will be mad about.

Again, nothing is wrong with you. You're going through a big adjustment period and it's going to take some time to get used to it. And you're going to be okay.

[NycVixen]

You are a great mom. There is nothing wrong with you. I wish I had a mom or MIL like you. In my case, both haven't been supportive of our relationship like they should've been and it's 10 years together and 5 years of marriage.

You are loving, supportive, helpful and engaged without being obtrusive or overly possessive. You miss your boy and that's normal. It will take a while. IMO the important thing is to overcome the feeling of loss in a reasonable amount of time. My MIL is still not over it and acts out towards me to this day.

Please know that you have done everything to be certain your son grows up to be a caring and independent young man. It is now the time for him to move to the next stage of his life and for you as well. Relish the fact that he's able to move on his own and help him so it goes well. When the time comes, you will find a new path and you and your son will meet many, many times again as you both continue your journeys.

Change and adaptation is part of life and being able to do it successfully is to be applauded. Congratulations to you both!

[geezerette]

There’s nothing “wrong” with you.  You’ve been dreading this and now it’s happened.  It was a natural reaction.  Your emotions are high right now.

I agree with the others.  Give yourself time.  And in the meantime, don’t beat yourself up about how you feel.  Your life has changed.  People react differently and on different timelines.

[meallen616]

@qvc chick,

Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, you are a MOM! Think positive and try to keep busy! Keep us posted,

Sending you,

[LTT1]

@qvc chick

What everybody else said...

to add: I think during menopause and right before I am more tearful than ever before. Silly tears come from various thoughts for me... usually good thoughts of past experiences. Nostalgia runs rampant for me!

My tearful times are short-lived, but if you find yourself thinking something is wrong with you, I’d ask the doctor.

No need to suffer if you can’t “shake” the tears after a logical amount of time.

[StephfromIdaho]

Nothing is wrong with you.  You are a lovely mom who misses your son.  You’ll get used to it and I predict, will love living alone.  Get busy Doug what you want to do, take a cooking class, lean to kayak, it’s your turn!!!! 

[OKPrincess]

It sounds like you still have a good relationship with your son and that’s really important. You will be fine but takes time to get use to living alone. Have your home as safe as possible so you won’t feel scared. That would be my number one concern.