Among Friends

[ScrapHappy]

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@Luvsmyfam wrote:

I've been Mia for several reasons.I thought I was in a relationship with a man,and was having such great fun time with him.Then,something happened over Memorial weekend.I haven't seen or heard a word from him since.Just like that it's over.Now the question I have is why?I got the message when I hadn't heard from him.I deleted his number.this has put me in such a funk .Im constantly checking my phone in case he texts me.

How do I get over this man?

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I would not call him.  I would not text him or seek him out in any way.  If for some reason, you run into him...be pleasant.  Say "Nice to see you.  How have you've been."  If he's treating you like this early on in the relationship, how do you think he'll treat you down the road?  The same, if not worse.  Believe who and what he is the FIRST time he shows it.  Go out with friends, have fun.  Take a day trip.  Keep busy and life your best life.  Don't let this define you.

[Effie54]

@Luvsmyfam  I see that you said he's been single for 20 years. That's a long time to be single. I may be wrong, but he may not be into commitment. Men see dating/commitment differently than women. We are emotional and invested. Men can be sometimes an enigma and difficult to predict. I've been where you are. It was terrible to go through. I think time gave me perspective that this person wasn't the one. Sometimes you can't see it right away - through the pain. Give it time. 

[RedTop]

@Luvsmyfam 

If you are this emotional after a few dates in the short span of a couple of months, it is pretty clear you form attachments quickly.  A man who has been single for 20 years is probably not looking for the same thing you're looking for.  

[chrystaltree]

Did it occur to you to call him to see if he is alright?  Maybe he's ill or hospitalized or dead.

[foxywoods]

Men are like rubberbands. when they are conflicted or unsure,   they will pull back as far as they can. sometimes they need to distance for whatever reason. maybe he likes you so much he's nervous about going forward.  maybe he has another flame, maybe he's not sure he wants to commit, maybe he feels your expectations are too high.

a rubberband will snap back and so will the man.  if he does connect with you again it's up to you. your move is next. make him work for it.   if you allow him back in so quickly, he will learn you are too easy. so decide now what you want.  jmo,   he's not worth all the angst.

another thing:  most of the time there is no closure with most men. they don't want to do a post-mortem of relationships.  been there, never happened. agonized about the breakup for months even years.  guy friend broke the news to me.  they don't want conflict.

[magicmoodz]

@Luvsmyfam 

First let me say I'm sorry you are feeling ghosted. But....

Is this the same guy who wanted you to meet his family after a dinner date? If so, maybe he had family plans for the holiday weekend and  might have read your reluctance to meet his family as disinterest on your part. 

I would give it more time and definitely be cordial when you run into him. In such a new relationship I don't think men respond well to the cold shoulder treatment.

[PABoater]

WHAT?????

Why on earth are you posting your personal life info here????

[SaveTheTurtles]

@Luvsmyfam  Was it discussed that you and he were exclusive and not going to date other people? If not, perhaps he is dating you along with other women. Perhaps the relationship was not far enough along to even has this discussion. 

[Luvsmyfam]

#PABOATER I AM SORRY IVE DISTURB U PLEASE TAKE A PILL AND CHILL

[Teddixat]

@Luvsmyfam   sometimes that gut feeling is very telling.  It may not feel this way now, but you will get through this - and the pain will diminish.