Among Friends

[NYCLatinaMe]

---

@Teddixat wrote:

@kaydee50   there are some very sophisticated posters here who know these boards like the back of their habd.  I;m with you,  I'm not that interested honestly. But I am interested in thus post, mostly because of the gross assumptions so many have,Aden when they don't know either of these two people,

---

@Teddixat I don't know about them being sophisticated.  They are rude and so bored with their own lives that they keep track of others'  posts so they can berate vulnerable people for kicks and giggles.  To me, that is rude and ignorant.

[NYCLatinaMe]

---

@RedTop wrote:

@kaydee50 

My memory is like a vault; what I hear and  read stays with me for years.  It has been very easy for me to distinguish posters who start their posting history with drama and maintain that same pattern in every post that follows.  

It is never my intention to hurt someone's feelings, but reading post after post of them being the poor victim in the latest drama, my response is not pity.  I can't find  compassion or sympathy for someone who refuses to see their actions make them equally responsible for the drama.  

---

Yes @RedTop There are people who lack empathy and compassion.  That is not something to brag about.

[LuvSoCal]

---

@tiny 2 wrote:

---

@Wsmom wrote:

---

@San Antonio Gal wrote:

---

@LuvSoCal wrote:

---

@tiny 2 wrote:

A week later I was at the grocery store minding my business when suddenly from behind a man touched my shoulder and leaned in to where his mouth was practically in my ear and whispered, that I looked really nice today. I was thinking, if you don't get your hand off of me and your ****** out of my space I'm going to knock you into next week. My expression made him back off and he said I just wanted to tell you that. I did not even finish my shopping, paid and left. Creepy!!!

---

---

@tiny 2  I've never thought to be hostile when someone (a man) approaches me with a compliment. I usually smile and just say "that's very nice of you to say, thank you" and then quickly go on my way. He probably did go too far by touching your arm. He likely won't do that again lol.

@LuvSoCal  -  I also would not get hostile if someone gave me a compliment.  I would say thank you and walk away too.  

---

---

@San Antonio Gal ,  @tiny 2 , Agree with you ladies, I also would normally say thank you and move on.  The fact that he touched her and leaned in so close his mouth was practically in her ear changes it from a polite man giving a compliment to an absolute red flag/concern/creeper.  Huge difference from the average nice compliment.

---

@Wsmom@San Antonio Gal @LuvSoCal 

Yes,
Thank you. He also squeezed my shoulder. I could feel his lips on my ear. He startled me coming from behind. I will never be that desperate for a compliment. He was lucky that he did not get my knee in his belongings and left with them intact.

---

@tiny 2 I don't seek compliments nor am I desperate to be noticed. I'm just not wired the same as you. I am not easily offended. That's not to say that I wouldn't have thought "what a jerk".  There might be certain situations where I would feel threatened but someone approaching me in a very public place would not be one of them. If I felt my safety was at issue that would be different.

[Lucky Charm]

---

@DottieBlue wrote:

AND, all the OP asked for was stated in the last line of her opening post:

"How do I get over this man?"

---

@DottieBlue   Actually, after letting us know why she hasn't posted for a while she divulged that her relationship she thought was going wonderfully suddenly stopped and the man is no longer communicating with her.

Luvsmyfam:  Now the question I have is why?

She went on to say she deleted his number and it has put her in a funk, constantly checking her phone in case he does text her. 

Then she asked how to get over this man.

So I think posters are responding to all her post, not just honing in on the last question.

@Luvsmyfam I know there was a thread from you brought up from last year about being ghosted.  Would this be someone else who ghosted you a year ago?  If so, have you seen that person to find out why? 

I really don't know what to say for advice.  I guess I would've contacted him on Tues or Wed to see how his weekend went. 

At that point you probably didn't know it was going to turn out this way. 

I can't remember, have you contacted him since or were you waiting for some communication from him?

[Teddixat]

@NYCLatinaMe    I couldn't agree more with you.   The way some have treated this OP  is shameful.   My reference to their being"sophisticated" was kind of tongue in cheek .   I can't imagine combing through old posts of someone to try to make them out a liar.   However, I hope the OP learns from this  experience that this is not the place to come for compassion abd understanding 

[ciao_bella]

@NYCLatinaMe      Believe as you wish. 

To me, if you're going to choose to reveal a story and want and ask for people's feedback and advice, you have to be transparent and up front with the all details at the beginning.  If not, you can't fault people for having doubt and drawing their own conclusions after omitted details were found and revealed later to be true and confirmed by the OP.

Many people here were empathetic to the OP at first not knowing all the details, myself included, but your judgement now of others for not continuing to being kind, supportive, etc., and calling them rude and ignorant, are just as objectionable and judgemental. 

If a person wants to be believed they have to be genuine, transparent and truthful of all details.  It's as simple as that!          

[PrettyGerl]

---

@ciao_bella wrote:

@NYCLatinaMe      Believe as you wish. 

To me, if you're going to choose to reveal a story and want and ask for people's feedback and advice, you have to be transparent and up front with the all details at the beginning.  If not, you can't fault people for having doubt and drawing their own conclusions after omitted details were found and revealed later to be true and confirmed by the OP.

Many people here were empathetic to the OP at first not knowing all the details, myself included, but your judgement now of others for not continuing to being kind, supportive and calling them rude and ignorant, are just as objectionable and judgemental. 

If a person wants to be believed they have to be genuine, transparent and truthful of all details.  It's as simple as that!          

---

Excellent post. You are simply being genuine.  Yes, having empathy matters, is very important.   When posters ask reasonable questions to understand the story, are attacked and called names for doing so...clearly something is off.  People wish to help.  But when someone refuses transparency, the poster becomes defensive and attacks...people are entitled to speak out.  

[SportyShorty07]

@Luvsmyfam  I believe that you'll get through this and you'll find a better guy.  Men who ghost demonstrate right off the bat that they lack follow through or even the courage and politeness to say, "I enjoyed getting to know you, but I'm not feeling the spark, I'm not ready for a relationship etc." Ghosters are wimps.  It takes 5-10 seconds to type it via text message or a minute to say it in a phonecall.  If a man ghosts, let him disappear and find a great guy who will make the ghoster just a distant memory .  I wish you a fulfilling and fun dating life.  Get right back out there whenever you're ready! 

[beckyb1012]

This is a very short acquaintance even if there was an interaction months ago, so  this is definitely not a relationship. 

Neither of you owe the other a thing about future plans this early on.  If you do want to see him then reach out and if he does not respond there is your answer and move on.  Same would apply in reverse if he wanted to see you and you cared not to.

No man is worth all this drama and turmoil.

[Pink123]

I agree with you  completely @SportyShorty07 

but some "rules" never change.  It's the difference between a man and a woman.

He knows where you are @Luvsmyfam and if he wants you he will hunt you down like a jet pilot on steroids and they don't give up.  That's how men are wired and will never change.

He's not the only man in this large universe unless you want him to be.  I find it best to work on myself when things go wrong and move on.