Among Friends

[Katcat1]

@Allegheny  You went ahead and purchased a separate ring and did not think of the expense nor his feelings.  I think what he suggested was very sweet.  You can always tell him you would rather go on a vacation than have the rings.  That is was communication is all about.  I did not mean to be tool harse but you need to stop and think first.  I do sincerely wish you both the best life has to offer and hope you get that vacation!  

[Allegheny]

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@Katcat1 wrote:

@Allegheny  You went ahead and purchased a separate ring and did not think of the expense nor his feelings.  I think what he suggested was very sweet.  You can always tell him you would rather go on a vacation than have the rings.  That is was communication is all about.  I did not mean to be tool harse but you need to stop and think first.  I do sincerely wish you both the best life has to offer and hope you get that vacation!  

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@Katcat1  Appreciate your comments.  I had already told him prior to our visit to the goldsmith what my wishes were and why.  He already had his mind made up this was going to happen.  Yes, that is how sweet he is.  

He has no problem once we were there when I asked just to have my existing wedding ring resized nor did he have a problem when I told him I would prefer a custom birthstone ring designed instead of a diamond engagement ring made to match my wedding band.  That would make me much happier and would be something I would wear more frequently.

I know your intentions come from the heart.  I am a little miffed with DH right now.  Our utility vehicle is parked underneath our deck.  I had some some plants off to the right of it which I planned on repotting.  He knew they were there when he used the UTV, but unfortunately run over them.  When I saw what happened and mentioned it, he immediately raised his voice to advise me it was my fault, that I shouldn't have had them there; etc.   I mean all he had to do was say I'm sorry.

[Katcat1]

@Allegheny  Men!  So unpredictable.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend and work on gettinig that vacation!  You only live once that we know of.  

[NYC Susan]

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@AuntG wrote:

I agree with you BUT in this case I'd go along with the ring. You seem to have hit on the reason why it is important to him so I'd respect that. Is it possible to pick a less expensive ring and still take a nice vacation?

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That was my thought too.  Why does it have to be one or the other?

I've always felt that the ring that was given to me at my wedding was my wedding ring, and nothing else would have that same sentimental value.  So getting a new ring isn't something I would have suggested, but I do think it's a very romantic and sweet gesture on his part and I'd be careful about minimizing that or hurting his feelings.

This definitely calls for a conversation.  Even if he "gets offended easily" and is like Archie Bunker, a marriage is a partnership and even a wife who doesn't often get her way should still speak up.  I wouldn't shut down his idea - I would just express my thoughts.  See how important this is to him and talk it through.

Compromise (less expensive rings AND being able to travel) would be what I'd aim for.  But if he's not open to that and if the rings are really important to him, then I would go with the flow because it's very sweet and romantic and clearly intended to please not only himself but his wife too.

eta:  Sorry - I'm recovering from an injury and just catching up on posts.  I'm glad compromise worked for you, @Allegheny!  (And I'm sorry about your plants.)

[sunshine45]

i say take the trip and make some beautiful memories together!

it sounds like you already have a very meaningful and lovely ring to wear.

happy 25th anniversary!