Re: Forgiveness And/Or Forgetting????

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

I have sort of a hard time with the forgiveness concept. Especially if the person continues to claim he did nothing wrong, and continues to be a bad person.

There has only been one person in my whole life I cannot forgive. While one of my husband's brothers handled their late father's estate, he strung out a simple estate for 3 years and cost about $90,000 in legal fees. I think he dishonored his late parents and tore apart the entire family. He has no remorse.

This same person then divorced his wife and strung her out for longer, doing a lot of the same actions he did with the rest of his family.

I can't make myself even want to forgive him. For now, the best I can do is stop all thoughts of what he did.

Hyacinth

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

I didn't read all the responses but I did not get the impression that he was asking to be forgiven. To me, that would be the starting point. Beyond that, if that did happen, it would be up to you. To me, if someone asks for forgiveness, and is humble, I would hear them out. It doesn't mean you are going to be best buddies...doesn't mean your going to be a doormat or whatever. I doesn't even mean you have to have much of a realationship.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

I completely agree that there has to be repentance and atonement. There's forgiveness that you do for yourself to free yourself and take back power, but true forgiveness requires atonement. That's taking responsibility for what you have done and not repeating the behavior. Without that forgiveness is meaningless.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@Gayle2 wrote:
I didn't read all the responses but I did not get the impression that he was asking to be forgiven. To me, that would be the starting point. Beyond that, if that did happen, it would be up to you. To me, if someone asks for forgiveness, and is humble, I would hear them out. It doesn't mean you are going to be best buddies...doesn't mean your going to be a doormat or whatever. I doesn't even mean you have to have much of a realationship.

@Gayle2,I, as many, feel that here forgiveness is of greatest benefit to yourself because you "let it go". The feelings his actions have caused in you are the second result of his actions.