Forgiveness And/Or Forgetting???? - Page 3

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to now bring them back into your life - it just means you have decided to clear their misdeeds out of your heart and mind. You don't forgive for the other person - you forgive for yourself. Just that you are thinking about this may mean you are finally ready to do it.Pray on it and the answer will come to you clearly. Carrying hatred around is not at all healthy for you.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I told my juniors and seniors that not forgiving and hate were like black paint on your soul. When you deal with "black paint", it gets all over you.

If you think of how your face looks when you're mad, it shows that the light of love (goodness, positive influences) aren't present; you look "dark".

In addition, you can make yourself sick (headache, other negative thoughts) and it raises your blood pressure and can upset your stomach. It does nothing but make you feel bad.

When you forgive, the biggest gift is actually to yourself.

DowntonAbbey · ‎03-09-2010

We never forget what has been done to us unless we have a head injury or something but we must forgive.............if we want forgiveness and when we don't forgive the poison is on us..........because the person that harmed you is not thinking about what they did to you because they felt you or anyone deserved it. SO you are drinking the poison.........so please try and forgive it will set you free.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

Some things are just unforgivable. My younger brother has treated me in very abusive ways. The last couple of years he has also done unforgivable things to me, my mother, and my other brother.

I have worked through things with some professional help. That's enough forgiveness for me. It was healing and freeing for me. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness. He's a pathological narcissist, and until he realizes that and gets help he will never change. I just don't want or need such toxicity in my life.

It's an individual decision, and everyone's situation is different.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

@151949 Thank you. Good points. I honestly have moved on and carry no hatred in my heart. I have never hated him, I was just so terribly disappointed. This has come to mind because my only nephew just lost his mother. He lost his dad (my brother) many years ago and then lost his step dad about five years ago. The poor kid has endured so much. I haven't been in touch with him over the years because the bad brother is always at his house and I don't want to run into him. I sent my nephew a card and heartfelt note, but his recent loss has brought almost forgotten thoughts to the forefront.

Glossy Red Butterfly

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein

Apple Crisp · ‎04-08-2010

@pattypeep It sounds to me like your brother has some serious emotional issues. My pastor made a sermon once, where he said we forgive the weakness in the person. We forgive the weakness that makes them do awful things. To forgive does not mean you have to re-establish a relationship with the person. Some people are toxic and should not be in our lives.

If you are a religious person, tell God you forgive his weakness and put your brother in God's hands. Ask God to forgive him the way you want God to forgive you. There is an expression -- to forgive is to set a prisoner free, and the prisoner is yourself. Another expression is that the container that holds the vinegar has more damage than that upon which the vinegar is poured.

We all have people and circumstances in our lives that require forgiveness. You have reached out in your post and I believe that is a first step. Good luck.

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

@Apple Crisp Such a sweet, sweet post. Thank you so much.

Glossy Red Butterfly

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein

qbetzforreal · ‎08-28-2010

Your brother needs to ask for your forgiveness for his terrible actions and behavior. You forgiving him absolves him of any responsibilty.

You can bless and release the ugliness and move on.

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

@pattypeep

There are a few people in my life whom (who?) I have forgiven to the best of my ability, which I did because forgiveness is required of me and because I don't want to live with poisonous thoughts or feelings. I brushed off the dirt from my sandals and walked away. I won't be going back for more. I rarely think of them; I don't wish them ill. I think forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.

I'm sorry you had this hurtful thing happen to you. I think your brother is the hard-hearted one.

The question for you might be: What would you do if he came to you and admitted all his wrong-doing with genuine remorse?

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

@qbetzforreal wrote:
Your brother needs to ask for your forgiveness for his terrible actions and behavior. You forgiving him absolves him of any responsibilty.

You can bless and release the ugliness and move on.

@qbetzforreal I respectfully disagree with your statement. Because we have all been forgiven of our sin, we then must forgive. When you forgive, it frees you spiritually and emotionally. The burden is lifted from you. By forgiveness you are NOT saying that what a person did is acceptable or that he has no responsibility. When we don't forgive, we give power to the offender over our lives. @pattypeep seems to understand this based on her responses.