Among Friends

[IMissSuperPoke]

No, but I haven't spoken to my sister in five years over something less than that so I'm not one to go by I suppose. My issue was she had her wedding overseas right after I had hip surgery so she knew I wouldn't be able to go. She's had issue with me being the big sister and I never did much worse than the big brother on the Wonder Years! Ha ha I might have sped my car up while pretending to give her a ride, that sort of thing, but I was upset she didn't want me at her wedding.

[Mz iMac]

""There real meaning of forgiveness is not letting it effect your life"."

Not forgiving has not affected my life not one bit!

[chiclets]

Forgetting is not an option.

Forgiving will always be the oxymoron, not necessarily literally meant.

[LIndaMJ]

No, you are absolutely not hard-hearted! I also have a story of my own: when our mother was dying in the hospital, my sister (in name only) called and said she wondered "how much money we would get". I told her I wasn't the least bit interested in Mom's money, I wanted her too live. When Mom died about a week later, my sister told Mom's attorney that he need not divide the money as stated in Mom's will because I told her I wasn't interested.

Little did she know the attorney had to send me a letter of relinquishment which I refused to sign. This was November '02 , I havent spoken to her since, I am still trying to forgive her, but make certain of one thing-I will never speak to her again and will never, ever forget.

[happycat]

I don't think you are being hard hearted at all. I think you are being smart. I'm sorry your brother thought it was ok to talk to you and treat you like that. I think he should be ashamed. And good for your husband, for wanting to protect you.

[pattypeep]

@nana59  Thank you. As his only sister and oldest of four children, he being the youngest, I doted on him when he was growing up. So, I guess part of the sting is "how could you do this to me and speak to me like this?"

[pattypeep]

@cherry@itscrystalclear It makes so much sense since you put it that way. I guess I thought maybe I needed to "forgive" him by telling him I do and I don't want to. I have gotten on with my life with my dh's help and with my loving brother whom I lost a couple of years ago. He was all I had left as our oldest brother died about 10 years ago. Thank you so much for the enlightenment.

[pattypeep]

@NicksmomESQ  The same thing with my mother. Her two boys whom she favored the most out of the four of us took her for everything they could as soon as dad died. She figured it out and it absolutely broke her heart.

[pattypeep]

@hckynut Yes, she was still with us. She passed about ten years ago. He basically stole her house and moved her into a shack. He lied to her over and over and over. She was talking to a friend one day and they told her it sounded fishy and to consult an attorney. She did and the attorney threatened to sue him and he ceased talking to her at all. Like it was her fault. All she had after dad died was the house and bad brother for sure wanted to get 100% of it because her estate was to be split three ways. (Mom had written the oldest son from her will for stealing her car and other things of dads.) Funny thing, I never even thought about the inheritance angle until he said that awful thing to me on the phone. I was originally angry with him for moving mom into a dump. I didn't know about this house "exchange" until mom called me at work one day to tell me she was moving. What ??? And I live in the same town.

[pattypeep]

@software  Good point. Thank you.