Re: Domestic Violence & Gabby Petito Case

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

Where do domestic abusers come from? How are they made? By their upbringing, or what??

Others around them, such as friends and relatives, need to call them out when they see or suspect such behavior. It can't just be left up to the victim or the police/justice system because too often they are not strong enough to stop it. It will take the whole village to stop it.

JMO.

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
I think the answer to, who killed Gabby, has to do with the six days Brian was n Florida. Gabby was not an independent person who would be fine on her own, she didn't want left on her own for one night after their police encounter. So it's safe to assume she was with people they met in their travels. The police should be investigating what went on during those six days and with whom.

When he left, didn't he take her debit card with him? So if she was, in fact, still alive when he left her and went back to Mommy and Daddy, he left her with no money? Why take her debit card knowing she would need money if she was still alive? Also, if she was still alive when he left, why didn't he talk to the Police (with his lawyer present) instead of running? If he's innocent, why doesn't he defend himself?

Plus, I'm sure the police have more info than what has been released so far to the public that make them suspect him.

In the meantime, how many more women have been murdered as a result of domestic violence since this one?

golding76 · ‎05-19-2012

MilliesAunt2,

That's a tough question to answer. My abusive husband came from a somewhat prominent family of lawyers and judges. His father was a lawyer and his mother an educator. By no means was his father an abuser of his wife, and his wife (my ex's mother) was a gentle, highly nurturing and loving soul.

Without divulging too much that is personal, I think that my abusive ex-husband was ridiculously indulged and spoiled. He had a personal problem that he has carried into every marriage/relationship. Not able to handle this inner conflict, he took his anger out on his wife or partner. This is my layman's take on him. Also, he wanted "all his toys," in a manner of speaking. If you wanted to leave him, he tried to prevent it by wooing you again. He had a golden tongue. In fact, the man would never shut up.

And my father was a lamb. I never witnessed a man abusing a woman before living through that hell myself.

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

@golding76

I am so glad you got away from that horrible person.

I've just wondered what creates people to be like that, there are so many of them. And I feel so sorry for their partners/kids who have had to endure it.

And to think that it has only been a few short decades since society has openly acknowledged this evil and finally started doing something to try to stop it, and help the victims.

gertrudecloset · ‎02-13-2021

@DottieBlue wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
I think the answer to, who killed Gabby, has to do with the six days Brian was n Florida. Gabby was not an independent person who would be fine on her own, she didn't want left on her own for one night after their police encounter. So it's safe to assume she was with people they met in their travels. The police should be investigating what went on during those six days and with whom.

When he left, didn't he take her debit card with him? So if she was, in fact, still alive when he left her and went back to Mommy and Daddy, he left her with no money? Why take her debit card knowing she would need money if she was still alive? Also, if she was still alive when he left, why didn't he talk to the Police (with his lawyer present) instead of running? If he's innocent, why doesn't he defend himself?

Plus, I'm sure the police have more info than what has been released so far to the public that make them suspect him.

In the meantime, how many more women have been murdered as a result of domestic violence since this one?

Excellent points!!!!!

A Negative Mind ~ Will give you a Negative Life

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

We don't know that he took her debit card at the time he left, she could have given him the card days before that. We also don't know that without the card she had no money, she could have had cash. Most people use their Debit card to withdraw the amount of cash they'll be needing wanting to avoid multiple transaction fees. So much isn't known that claiming Brian stole her card and the van may or may not be true.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@DottieBlue wrote:

And to think that it has only been a few short decades since society has openly acknowledged this evil and finally started doing something to try to stop it, and help the victims.

@DottieBlue

My sperm donor left when I was about 4 years old. Left my mom with 3 older sisters and myself. He was a drunken bum that liked to beat up my mother and oldest sister.

We had no telephone, but as you say, who was there to call in 1942? We all turned out well thanks to the upbringing of our mother, and him?

I have no clue and never really cared to hear more than what I learned about him when I was old enough to understand. It would certainly fall into the Domestic Violence category, verbal/physical, and mental.

hckynut(john) 🥅🏒

hckynut(john)

violann · ‎03-10-2010

My husband taught a criminology course for years, and his thoughts were along the same lines- no matter WHO actually committed this murder, Gabby needed and deserved more protection than she received.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@violann wrote:
My husband taught a criminology course for years, and his thoughts were along the same lines- no matter WHO actually committed this murder, Gabby needed and deserved more protection than she received.

She didn't want protection. She wanted her abuser. She was given every opportunity to tell those cops that she didn't feel safe with him, that he hit her, that he threatened her. She just wouldn't them what the needed to hear because didn't want to be separated from Brian. The police can't act on what they assume happened and Gabby went further saying that she was the aggressor. If she'd told the truth and gave up on that social media fantasy project and just gone home to her parents, she'd be alive today.

golding76 · ‎05-19-2012

hckynut(john),

Your mother was obviously a wise and highly principled woman. She knew she had a monster in the house with four children and managed, somehow, to escape from him. All for the protection and betterment of your lives. You are justifiably proud of her. From what I read in your posts, you are a fine human being, and she should be proud of her care and love.

I am happy that she successfully escaped from him.

Just an additional few statements on what life is like for the children of these tyrants, even if they've been exposed to one for a few years (before divorce) and pick up later with this dad. My ex's daughter from his second marriage (her mother was from Europe, not Greece) lived apart from him in her mother's country after her parents divorced. When she was around 19 or so, she visited his mother in the U.S., and on a phone call with me, she asked about his horrible temper and cruelty. I dodged answering these questions because I sensed she was mending her relationship with her dad and was spending more time with him in Greece. But his anger and cruelty were heavy on her mind.

Fast forward about 15 years. She and I are seated across from one another at her paternal grandmother's milestone birthday party. An accomplished young woman, she lives in the same country and city as her dad. They have a good relationship but she knows who and what he is. I asked why he is not attending the party. She said he was unable to for personal reasons and then tells (quietly) that he only that night tried to shove his third wife off the balcony. I swear. She related to me that she stays in the same city as her dad to provide a sanctuary for the half-sibling her dad had with his third wife. Familiar with his explosive temper, she wanted to be there for this much younger half-sibling.

The beat goes on...