Domestic Violence & Gabby Petito Case - Page 5

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

Thank you.

hckynut

hckynut(john)

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@chrystaltree wrote:
@violann wrote:
My husband taught a criminology course for years, and his thoughts were along the same lines- no matter WHO actually committed this murder, Gabby needed and deserved more protection than she received.

She didn't want protection. She wanted her abuser. She was given every opportunity to tell those cops that she didn't feel safe with him, that he hit her, that he threatened her. She just wouldn't them what the needed to hear because didn't want to be separated from Brian. The police can't act on what they assume happened and Gabby went further saying that she was the aggressor. If she'd told the truth and gave up on that social media fantasy project and just gone home to her parents, she'd be alive today.

@chrystaltree I believe Gabby did deserve better in life, domestic abuse is so complicated on many levels.

Anyone who has worked with women living with an abusive partner knows that women often say "he will change" or "he didn't mean it" or "I made him do it".

Gabby was too young and inexperienced to know her options; she didn't have the guidance and counseling needed to help her see her situation for what it was at the time it was happening.

While had she spoken up to the police, she very well could be alive-at that time.

We do not know how Brian would have reacted later on had she spoken up. His anger could have escalated later on.

This is why it is necessary to understand the layers and levels of domestic abuse.

We simply do not know on what level that relationship was functioning; emotional, physical or both.

Some abusers will escalate and some will back down-for a short time.

Some abusers are very charming outwardly and change behind closed doors.

Regardless of however their relationship was, in the end Gabby was the victim and her lack of communication with the police is textbook behavior.

It is very easy to say she had the chance; but the dynamics of any abusive relationship will not match that thought.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Black Cat Back · ‎03-21-2010

Today's findings of remains at a park in Florida is suspect. The parents had an epiphany to look there today and lo and behold, his backpack and notebook were found and remains.

It's just too weird to be a coincidence in my book.

I hope those remains are not his, but if they are, I hope he suffered and an alligator attacked him in that swamp.

I don't trust his parents for anything. Their lack of honesty cost the authorities time and manpower. He could have been located.

This finding today could be another chance, if he's alive, to get away even more.

Rest in peace Gabby. Your story will educate so many and maybe save many more. Bless you.

golding76 · ‎05-19-2012

TennisBuf,

I'm with you 100%.

conlt · ‎03-16-2010

I am a victim of domestic violance. It ruined my life, I met him when I was in my 20's and at first everything was great. The verbal abuse started then years later the physical abuse started. It took me years to get out safely.

When I watch the video of Gabby, I say to myself,, "this is you". I can easily see in her mood, gestures, words, that she was in trouble. The police did not pick-up on it.

In my experience, some of the police were ignorent to my plight. In fact, in the last incident. I had a restraing order, he came to my work looking for money and threatend to ruin my job if I did not give it to him. I excused myself from work, drove to the drive through at the bank. While he waited, I called the police while in the drive through and they were there by the time I came out of the drive through. One of the officers was yelling at me.

I already felt isolated and afraid and to have this officer yell at me was awful. He might have just as well put us back together. They ended up taking him in for violating the restraining order. That gave me my break.

I think the police need training in domestic violence and sensitivity training. I know exactly what Gabby was doing. She was afraid he would be in trouble, so she hid the truth.

There was an officer that called me one day. He was super nice. He said he was worried about my safety and just checking on me. I will never know who he was, but that call made me feel so much better.

I also had a wonderful attorney who spoke to me at length and convinced me not to go back.

I still can't explain it, but for some reason, we go back into these abusive relationships. It has been over 9 years now since I left the relationship and now I don't put up with abusive people. I also had quite a bit of counseling.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

I was also a victim of domestic violence. I nearly cried watching the police talk to Gabby. They didn't have a clue.

Boehm Collector · ‎03-09-2010

For ten years I was the prosecutor for a municipality in New Jersey. The rule was that if the police saw any sign of injuries they were obligated to file a complaint. Of course, most times by the time the police arrived the "assault" had already taken place so they hadn't observed it. That made the testimony of the victim crucial. I can't even begin to guess at the number of domestic violence cases that I had to deal with during those ten years. Sadly, NOT one woman agreed to pursue the case. Without the victim's testimony I had no case so they all had to be dismissed. I always spoke to the victim in private in my office to no avail. I always offered them protection from the abuser but that wasn't even enough to make them pursue the matter. They either made excuses for the abuser or said that the police were lying about the entire matter.

GoneButNotForgotten · ‎03-29-2020

I had a boyfriend who hit me...once. He never got another chance because I turned my back, got out there as fast as I could and cut him out of my life completely. No one touches me without my consent or against my will.

I grew up in an abusive childhood and wasn't about to make the same mistakes my drunken mother did.