Dilemma - Page 4

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@OhioAngel wrote:
What do you do when a friend you have had for around 6 years doesnt keep in touch now? The situation is that we had not gotten together over the past 3 years, it was her not me. I wanted to and tried to set something up. She does have some health issues so I am very understanding of it. With texting and with facebook messages, we kept in touch. Over about the last 3 months she doesnt reply to my messages but she does post on facebook almost daily.

When the family lost their niece and an inlaw, I sent a message and a card. I heard nothing from her. I send some hello facebook message, thinking of you messages and more.

Finally I just stopped and left her alone and will wait to see if I hear from her. It has been about 3 months now.

Would you keep leaving her alone and wait too?

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know how it feels. A friend of 40 years is doing the same to me. I don't know why - I've asked and she said everything is fine. After trying very hard for months, I stopped. We email each other about once a month and that's it. I really miss our friendship but can't force her. I hope she will come back someday.

silkyk · ‎03-03-2011

No Longer Best Friends Quotes. QuotesGram

OhioAngel · ‎12-11-2014

Youre all so kind and sweet here. To offer all your thoughts and suggestions are so appreciated, each and every one.

I think for now, after all of the attempts to get her to talk to me and reply I will leave it alone for now. I would send something I found funny, sweet friend sentiments, news from our city, thinking of you every- now and then. When I realize still not a word, I do need to back off and let go of this. If she wanted to be friends or answer she would. No reason for any of it, I really did nothing or said nothing wrong. Later on if she finally gets in touch I will reply but it will be a while that I do. Thanks again so very much.

katiemichelle · ‎06-10-2015

Sorry, I think the relationship is over...

stargazergal · ‎02-18-2016

@OhioAngel wrote:
What do you do when a friend you have had for around 6 years doesnt keep in touch now? The situation is that we had not gotten together over the past 3 years, it was her not me. I wanted to and tried to set something up. She does have some health issues so I am very understanding of it. With texting and with facebook messages, we kept in touch. Over about the last 3 months she doesnt reply to my messages but she does post on facebook almost daily.

When the family lost their niece and an inlaw, I sent a message and a card. I heard nothing from her. I send some hello facebook message, thinking of you messages and more.

Finally I just stopped and left her alone and will wait to see if I hear from her. It has been about 3 months now.

Would you keep leaving her alone and wait too?

Sometimes......... for what ever reasons...... this happens in friendships. I would give her the space.
Especially since you have not heard back from her. Don't be upset...... just know that sometimes people change...... friendships change. I would leave it
at that myself. Don't take it personally, just realize
she has changed...... and your friendship has changed because of it. I speak from that happening in friendships I have had a long the way. The best friendship you can have is the one you have with yourself.

stargazergal · ‎02-18-2016

@Xivambala wrote:
I would drop it and leave her alone. She clearly doesn't want your friendship any longer. I had a friend for a much longer period of time that just stopped communicating one day, so I decided to not bother anymore. They know where I am if they want to find me. I view this type of person as a coward if they cannot deal with a real relationship.

Sometimes people end Friendships to protect themselves. They are not necessarily cowards. I have had friendships in my life that became so draining. Negative energy.

Too much drama all the time. It happens in life. I am not saying this of this particular poster. I am speaking of friendships I have had in my lifetime. Not all have remained friends for those reasons I have mentioned.

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

@OhioAngel Sometimes you just have to let some things and people go. I think we all have had that person or maybe we have been the person who just needs to take a break, either temporarily or permanently. Move on and let the next move be hers.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

I've been both on the receiving end and the instigating end.

I had one friend in particular who just must have crossed me off her list. We met through our childen and become very good friends. We were also friends as couples, so relationship continued past the child years. We had dinners at their house and vice versa. One day I called to invite them to our place for dinner, and she said that their grandchild was staying with them and she would call me shortly. She even said that it was their turn to have us over. That was probably at least five years ago.

On the other hand, I had to ghost a friend from childhood. I felt terrible about it but had to do it for my sake. I couldn't bear to tell her the reasons. I know that I hurt her very deeply.

I envy people who have a few good friends. It seems harder the older I get. But also, I am a bit of a loner and never was surrounded by a multitude of "friends."

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

@OhioAngel ....I know how you feel. Been there, done that. Bottom line, I'm not going to force myself on anyone. If they don't want anything to do with me, fine. Time to move on.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

Growing · ‎07-12-2020

Thank you for posting this. I have just decided to detach with love from a friend who no longer wants our friendship. I pursue contact with her and she avoids. Like your friend, it feels terribly one sided. I think many people no longer pursue in-person friendships. I do know a nice group of women that were in a church group with me that are not taking COVID-19 precautions seriously and I have had to stop my participation with them. That was heartbreaking for me but I can't take the risks they take and their peer pressure was intense and upsetting. So my few friends that still want contact were doing it unsafely.

I think for some people, social media is enough and fills their needs for contact. We no longer do in-person stuff yet we are lonely. A bunch of women in my neighborhood started up a social group a year ago from the next door app and it's all in person activities pre-COVID-19. We do book club on zoom right now. I did not take advantage of all the activity last year and I've realized my error with this pandemic isolation.