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Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎12-11-2014

What do you do when a friend you have had for around 6 years doesnt keep in touch now?  The situation is that we had not gotten together over the past 3 years, it was her not me. I wanted to and tried to set something up. She does have some health issues so I am very understanding of it.  With texting and with facebook messages, we kept in touch. Over about the last 3 months she doesnt reply to my messages but she does post on facebook almost daily.

 

When the family lost their niece and an inlaw, I sent a message and a card. I heard nothing from her. I send some hello facebook message, thinking of you messages and more.

 

Finally I just stopped and left her alone and will wait to see if I hear from her. It has been about 3 months now.

 

Would you keep leaving her alone and wait too?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,775
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Hows about you call her and ACTUALLY SPEAK with her. She is probably sad and needs to speak to someone not a computer.

When I lose the TV controller, it's always in some remote destination.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,845
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I think you should try giving her a call too...at least just to say hello and see how she is doing.  It could be that she's depressed with the pandemic and her health issues.

Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎12-11-2014

Well she has her husband and her kids. She doesnt talk on the phone, she doesnt like to and wont. So that is not an option or I would call. Thank you though.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,725
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

I would leave her alone.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,743
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

@OhioAngel 

 

I've had this happen over the years and decided that if people don't stay in touch, they simply don't want to.

 

Sometimes, you just never know why.

 

I have just let those folks go.  Normally, I never hear from them again. 

 

If you feel you've made a good faith effort to reach out to her, and she still remains silent, I would just drop it.

 

It's the same thing with couples.  Once, I noticed the ONLY time we would get together with this one couple was when I called and made the first move. 

 

Otherwise, we never saw them.

 

When I stopped calling, guess what?  We never went out as a couple again.  My husband stays in touch with the man as they are childhood friends, but we do not socialize.

 

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 970
Registered: ‎07-26-2019

I would drop it and leave her alone. She clearly doesn't want your friendship any longer. I had a friend for a much longer period of time that just stopped communicating one day, so I decided to not bother anymore. They know where I am if they want to find me. I view this type of person as a coward if they cannot deal with a real relationship.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,054
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

Keep reaching out!! Two thoughts come to mind:

~ When some people are going through a challenging time, they 'clam up' and are very careful about who/what they let in. Re: her posting on fb daily - she's in control and can choose what she posts, when and how long she's on there. Others messaging/posting isn't in her control and she may be wary of what others share so don't read any more into that. (I've never done much with fb but have done even less since mid-March bc I don't want to see all the possible junk).

~ Some types of people are naturally more introverted and even more so when dealing with difficulties but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate someone letting them know they'd like to connect (even just virtually).
Give her time but don't have expectations. It doesn't take much to send a happy text or post a funny meme and your efforts are probably more appreciated than you know (not only by her but by those who care about her as well). 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Not all friendships are ment to last a lifetime.

 

 

I am reminded of a line from the movie "Stand By Me", where the character that Richard Dreyfus plays says at the end of the movie, "Some people drift in and out of your life, like busboys in a restaurant."

 

 

And that is so true .

 

 

This friendship has run its course.

 

 

Let her go, and move on with your life.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

As hard as it is to lose a friend, I would definitely leave her alone.  She's had plenty of opportunities to respond to your messages and has chosen to ignore them.  I think she has let your friendship go.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau