How Do You Stand Watching a Loved One suffer?

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

I feel so bad watching my love one suffer in excruciating pain. It has been twenty years of nonstop pain. My poor loved one is finally at the end of his rope in his ability to stand it. I feel so bad inside, but I still have hope for a cure. He is starting to lose hope and writhes in pain, crying and trying to get through it. If I had three wishes, I know what my first one would be.

goodstuff · ‎03-09-2010

Mindy, I am so sorry you and your loved one are going through this!

I guess my first question is: What is being done about pain management? Does your loved one have good doctors helping him with his condition? Are they aware how much pain he is in? Are they proactive in offering solutions? Is there a pain management specialist involved? There are so many medications and techniques for controlling pain nowadays that I would expect something could be done to lessen the pain, even if it can't be totally controlled!

Blessings and courage to you and the person you are hurting with!

jlkz · ‎12-02-2013

When my dad was hospitalized (Lewy Body Syndrome), I assumed he was on pain management and asked the nurse could she do something because he'd drift off to sleep but awaken in 2or3 minutes in pain. She told me he was on Tylenol. WHAT !!! I had her get my dad's doctor and get him pain medication.

Later that week, they wanted me to get him hospice care BY PHONE !!! I thanked the hospice representative and asked how in good conscience could I get him hospice by remote when the normal service level had to be watched every minute.

i placed him in Meadowood where he passed away a few days later. I wish I had gotten him there sooner. His pain medication there was closely monitored and quickly adjusted. He seemed to be at peace there and dozed comfortably.

i am sorry for all the physical and mental anguish you and yours are suffering. It's truly debilitating on so many levels. May you all have peace of heart, body, and mind.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

Mindy, if at all possible, get counseling for yourself. You are in a very stressful situation, physically and emotionally.

In my case, I have a son who is bipolar. He is almost always in a state of agitation or depression. It's very difficult to watch him suffer day in and day out. We are doing everything possible to help him, but in the meantime, I see a counselor to save what's left of my sanity. There's no shame in asking for help.

~ house cat ~

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

Could you speak to his doctor about not only pain medication but also psychiatric support? If he can find the right psychiatrist or therapist, it might help. Best of luck to you. You are an angel on earth.

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND POSTS. HE HAS A CONDITION THAT HAS ONLY MARGINALLY RESPONDED TO PAIN MEDICATION AND HE HAS TRIED EVERY KNOWN TREATMENT FOR HIS DISORDER, EXCEPT SURGERY, AND THE SURGERY IS EXPERIMENTAL AND HAS NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL. HIS DISORDER IS RARE AND HE IS NOT DYING FROM IT. HE SEES A PSYCHIATRIST BECAUSE CERTAIN PSYCHIATRIC MEDICINES LESSEN THE PAIN; OR THE PAIN WOULD BE EVEN WORSE. I SEE A PSYCHIATRIST, AS WELL. TRY AS I MIGHT, I JUST CANT WISH THIS HORRIBLE DISORDER AWAY. HE SEES MANY SPECIALISTS. EVERY BIT OF RESEARCH LEADS TO SOME NEW HOPE.

pggoody · ‎10-09-2010

I will certainly pray for you and your loved one. I am sure you have tried homeopathic treatments as well. Acupuncture ??? And I thought I had a difficult day today.......bless you🙏

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

@Mindy D wrote:
I feel so bad watching my love one suffer in excruciating pain. It has been twenty years of nonstop pain. My poor loved one is finally at the end of his rope in his ability to stand it. I feel so bad inside, but I still have hope for a cure. He is starting to lose hope and writhes in pain, crying and trying to get through it. If I had three wishes, I know what my first one would be.

Mindy, I feel so bad for you and your loved one. If you think that he is close to death, please call in Hospice. They will make sure he is comfortable and without pain.

I can't imagine what he and you are going through. It's just not right.

HiLo · ‎03-10-2010

@pggoody wrote:
I will certainly pray for you and your loved one. I am sure you have tried homeopathic treatments as well. Acupuncture ??? And I thought I had a difficult day today.......bless you🙏

I have used both Homeopathic and Acupuncture; it has literally saved my life! When modern medicine couldn't help, out of desperation I tried both of these methods. They both worked for me.

I sincerely hope your loved one will try either of these methods, probably acupuncture as it is easier to find a practioner . Acupuncture is rapidly becoming very popular all over the country, being used in many teaching hospitals such as Johns Hopkins, VA hospitals, National Institutes of Health in Bethesda; I could go on and on and it has no side effects. The older doctors don't seem to get it but the younger ones are all for it.

May God lead you to just the right place for treatment; praying that your dear one will get relief from the pain.

keeper of the koi · ‎03-02-2015

Mindy ,I am so very sorry to read your post. I can only add that I will pray for you and your love one. I wish I could help you more but know I am thinking of you. You are his angel what a wonderful gift you are giving to him. I hope you find some solution soon for you both. Lifting you up in prayer ....Maryanne