Wellness

[LilacTree]

I just sent my younger brother an email suggesting he get in touch with the VA regarding setting up a "wellness check" for our brother.  He doesn't have to go into detail to our brother about what they check, but a lot of it would be mental according to what I read.

He might not want to take this on, but I feel . . . especially because of some of the suggestions we've discussed here . . . that it's definitely time to address this issue. 

Thanks for all of your input.

[Moonchilde]

---

@LilacTree wrote:

I just sent my younger brother an email suggesting he get in touch with the VA regarding setting up a "wellness check" for our brother.  He doesn't have to go into detail to our brother about what they check, but a lot of it would be mental according to what I read.

He might not want to take this on, but I feel . . . especially because of some of the suggestions we've discussed here . . . that it's definitely time to address this issue. 

Thanks for all of your input.

---

That sounds like a good idea. Hope it works out.

[SeaMaiden]

@LilacTree    Every family has it's skeletons.....my older sister  was and is  mental case....as a child I was scared of her and the things she did...like a jekell and Hyde personality . Today she is 69 and still basically crazy. I have had no relations with her since I was 17 years old.  There is nothing you can do really.  Your younger brother must have the situation under control and perhaps he keeps your "crazy" brother incheck.  I would just leave the situation alone.  Your younger brother must love him very much to want to be there for him.

[jlkz]

Reading through the posts, I saw the comment about bipolar illness being genetic.  An uncle who married into the family came from a line of folks with what we call Bipolar today.  Before his 40th birthday, he committed suicide by banging his head against a cast iron bathtub...there was no treatment or meds that I was aware of.  At the time of his death, I was told he had a heart attack while golfing.

His daughter, my cousin, is close to my age.  Both she and her daughter have been treated for this illness as long as I can remember.  They were even in the same treatment hospital together.  Her daughter committed suicide in her home and was found by her toddler.  My cousin is in her late 60's and is still being treated:  I can tell by her tone of voice over the telephone if she is in the manic or depressed stage of the illness.  Over the years I have spent countless hours trying to talk her into a rational choice from behavior on a job to spending limited money on groceries vs. " finds ."

Just last month she told me that her granddaughter who was in her last semester of college and completing an internship job, is now being treated for total depression and is severely bipolar.

Bottomline:  genetics yes !

[MarieIG]

---

@LilacTree wrote:

I just sent my younger brother an email suggesting he get in touch with the VA regarding setting up a "wellness check" for our brother.  He doesn't have to go into detail to our brother about what they check, but a lot of it would be mental according to what I read.

He might not want to take this on, but I feel . . . especially because of some of the suggestions we've discussed here . . . that it's definitely time to address this issue. 

Thanks for all of your input.

---

Perhaps your younger brother can get a social worker assigned to him through the VA, who can steer him through what is available for the older brother.

[maestra]

There is most def. a genetic component to some mental illnesses.

[LilacTree]

My father had old age dementia when he died at 83.  He was fine all of his life, so I don't think that counts as an inherited mental illness.

Anyway, my younger brother thinks it's a good idea and he's going to discuss it with our brother.  I hope he is successful and our brother will accept this.  My younger brother thinks he will be able to convince him to do it. 

Fingers crossed!!

[Big Sister]

@LilacTree  At this point I am very sympathetic to your other brother.  How sad!

[LilacTree]

---

@Big Sister wrote:

@LilacTree  At this point I am very sympathetic to your other brother.  How sad!

---

I don't know which one you mean, but for me it's sad for both of them.  I wish I could do more for my younger brother who pretty much takes care of and supports his entire adult family and has for many years.  And I'm sad for my sick brother, as he has no control over his life and doesn't even realize it.  The details would not go over well on this BB and I don't plan to discuss them.

We do all love each other, but unfortunately love doesn't conquer all, as is said.  My sick brother has to agree to be tested, he can't be forced obviously.  There's no shame in it, I was just tested a few weeks ago (Medicare Wellness Check) and I was relieved by it and glad I did it.  Men are different of course, and this man is very different.

We can only hope.

Thank you for your empathy. 

[LilacTree]

---

@jlkz wrote:

Reading through the posts, I saw the comment about bipolar illness being genetic.  An uncle who married into the family came from a line of folks with what we call Bipolar today.  Before his 40th birthday, he committed suicide by banging his head against a cast iron bathtub...there was no treatment or meds that I was aware of.  At the time of his death, I was told he had a heart attack while golfing.

His daughter, my cousin, is close to my age.  Both she and her daughter have been treated for this illness as long as I can remember.  They were even in the same treatment hospital together.  Her daughter committed suicide in her home and was found by her toddler.  My cousin is in her late 60's and is still being treated:  I can tell by her tone of voice over the telephone if she is in the manic or depressed stage of the illness.  Over the years I have spent countless hours trying to talk her into a rational choice from behavior on a job to spending limited money on groceries vs. " finds ."

Just last month she told me that her granddaughter who was in her last semester of college and completing an internship job, is now being treated for total depression and is severely bipolar.

Bottomline:  genetics yes !

---

@jlkz

Yes, I agree.  We hear about "dysfunctional families" all the time.  Most of the time it's genetically based would be my guess.