Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@DoneTryin wrote:

Oh, my.  Is there any chance of getting him to a doctor for a thorough exam?  There may be physical problems causing his anger & other issues.  I know it may be a struggle to get him to go, but it's worth a try.  Good luck to you & your family as you face this challenge!


@DoneTryin

I would do that.  I don't think my younger brother wants to go that far, at least not yet.  If I lived closer and wasn't so disabled, I think I would try to do more.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,767
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@LilacTree wrote:

@Desertdi wrote:

Buy him a ticket to Arizona...........nobody would notice him here.    If he is a taxpayer, that would be even better (!)     Only joking, of course........but at his age, he probably isn't going to change his ways.


@Desertdi

LOL, you made me laugh!  Parts of this are amusing, I know.  But obviously I'm thinking dementia/Alzheimers.  My youngest brother says he's also very forgetful (but we all are at this age). 


@LilacTree    I, myself, sometimes worry  about Alzheimers......but I kinda resent their commercial about the lady who left her keys in the fridge.   I misplace "things", too..........but it's because I no longer work, and really don't have to pay attention to detail any more......(or at least, that's what I tell myself.)  di

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@Desertdi wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

@Desertdi wrote:

Buy him a ticket to Arizona...........nobody would notice him here.    If he is a taxpayer, that would be even better (!)     Only joking, of course........but at his age, he probably isn't going to change his ways.


@Desertdi

LOL, you made me laugh!  Parts of this are amusing, I know.  But obviously I'm thinking dementia/Alzheimers.  My youngest brother says he's also very forgetful (but we all are at this age). 


@LilacTree    I, myself, sometimes worry  about Alzheimers......but I kinda resent their commercial about the lady who left her keys in the fridge.   I misplace "things", too..........but it's because I no longer work, and really don't have to pay attention to detail any more......(or at least, that's what I tell myself.)  di


I dislike that commercial also.  It's too cliche'.  I misplace things occasionally too.  And I often can't recall words.  I was just tested (Medicare Wellness Check) and I was found to be "mildly forgetful."  The Nurse Practitioner who administered the test said that was nothing to worry about at my age.  And I refuse to worry about it.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Honestly, I would let Younger Brother do what he wants to do about the situation, BUT -

 

If he continues to get more and more aggressive to others & turns violent, calling the police out & making them aware would be Step One. If he threatens anyone, especially someone *outside* the family or household, chances are better he could be put on a 48 hr hold in a Psych ward/hospital and be psychologically evaluated - and maybe gotten out of the home permanently that way.

 

It's very difficult to get someone like this out of a home where they have been living. He isn't going to change, or cooperate, only get worse to the point your other brother will be living in fear of even going to sleep at night. This has the potential to be something seen on the evening news.  IMO thinking this kind of thing can be "managed", especially when all concerned are seniors, is dangerous. Not trying to be mean or scary, but I sure wouldn't want to be in that situation.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,869
Registered: ‎09-08-2010

I have a relative that's been talking about conspiracy theories, outrageous religious occurrences etc. for years. She owns her own business and has done very well financially. She's never smoked pot or been on any drugs. However, if you sat down and had a conversation with her you'd definitely know something is not right. It's very strange! She has 3 grown kids and they never complain about it. I haven't seen her in years and don't like being around her because it's difficult. She's not mean, but it's tough to hear the stories she discusses and the things she claims have happened to her. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Sometimes you do have to just let it go.  My sister was bipolar and was so hard to deal with.  After years of trying, I finally gave up and cut her off.  She died at age 58 and I know she is in a better place.  She was angry her entire life, yelling, screaming, throwing fits, or would call you and not say a word after "hello".  Mental illness is reallly sad. 


@hoosieroriginal

That is so sad.  My former best friend had an adopted daughter who was bipolar (or whatever it's called these days).  I think there's a genetic component.  She was also an alcoholic, although I think she's been in AA for many years now.  She was a beautiful young girl, but I haven't seen her for years.

 

She had a son who shot himself in the head at the age of 19.  And I had seen him very shortly before that.  He was also tall and beautiful. 

 

Do you think there is a genetic component?


@sissy2 Tree - I really do - I think my mother was bipolar, as well as one of my daughters.  My sister's daughter also has problems which we think could be bipolar. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@Moonchilde wrote:

Honestly, I would let Younger Brother do what he wants to do about the situation, BUT -

 

If he continues to get more and more aggressive to others & turns violent, calling the police out & making them aware would be Step One. If he threatens anyone, especially someone *outside* the family or household, chances are better he could be put on a 48 hr hold in a Psych ward/hospital and be psychologically evaluated - and maybe gotten out of the home permanently that way.

 

It's very difficult to get someone like this out of a home where they have been living. He isn't going to change, or cooperate, only get worse to the point your other brother will be living in fear of even going to sleep at night. This has the potential to be something seen on the evening news.  IMO thinking this kind of thing can be "managed", especially when all concerned are seniors, is dangerous. Not trying to be mean or scary, but I sure wouldn't want to be in that situation.

 

 


I get what you're saying.  I'll have another discussion with my younger brother.  I worry about guns in the house.  They go "skeet shooting" together occasionally. 

 

[And please let's not let this get into a "gun" discussion, which is not my objective.]

 

 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Sometimes you do have to just let it go.  My sister was bipolar and was so hard to deal with.  After years of trying, I finally gave up and cut her off.  She died at age 58 and I know she is in a better place.  She was angry her entire life, yelling, screaming, throwing fits, or would call you and not say a word after "hello".  Mental illness is reallly sad. 


@hoosieroriginal

That is so sad.  My former best friend had an adopted daughter who was bipolar (or whatever it's called these days).  I think there's a genetic component.  She was also an alcoholic, although I think she's been in AA for many years now.  She was a beautiful young girl, but I haven't seen her for years.

 

She had a son who shot himself in the head at the age of 19.  And I had seen him very shortly before that.  He was also tall and beautiful. 

 

Do you think there is a genetic component?


@sissy2 Tree - I really do - I think my mother was bipolar, as well as one of my daughters.  My sister's daughter also has problems which we think could be bipolar. 


@hoosieroriginal

Oh my, that is so sad.  It's bad enough when it's a physical illness, but when it's mental, it's so much sadder because the victim can't help it, they just don't have control over their lives.  And it's so hard on those who love them too.

 

I have to say my brother (the one with the problems) has always been somewhat strange.  I used to think he was just "dumb," but perhaps it's been more than that all of these years.  He did get into the Navy though.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Sometimes you do have to just let it go.  My sister was bipolar and was so hard to deal with.  After years of trying, I finally gave up and cut her off.  She died at age 58 and I know she is in a better place.  She was angry her entire life, yelling, screaming, throwing fits, or would call you and not say a word after "hello".  Mental illness is reallly sad. 


@hoosieroriginal

That is so sad.  My former best friend had an adopted daughter who was bipolar (or whatever it's called these days).  I think there's a genetic component.  She was also an alcoholic, although I think she's been in AA for many years now.  She was a beautiful young girl, but I haven't seen her for years.

 

She had a son who shot himself in the head at the age of 19.  And I had seen him very shortly before that.  He was also tall and beautiful. 

 

Do you think there is a genetic component?


@sissy2 Tree - I really do - I think my mother was bipolar, as well as one of my daughters.  My sister's daughter also has problems which we think could be bipolar. 


@hoosieroriginal

Oh my, that is so sad.  It's bad enough when it's a physical illness, but when it's mental, it's so much sadder because the victim can't help it, they just don't have control over their lives.  And it's so hard on those who love them too.

 

I have to say my brother (the one with the problems) has always been somewhat strange.  I used to think he was just "dumb," but perhaps it's been more than that all of these years.  He did get into the Navy though.


@sissy2 Tree - I remember my sister standing across a lake and my mother saying "I'm so worried about that child, she's so odd".  Course, I remember my husband saying something similar about our daughter "There's something that's just not right".  I think it appears early - my sister was awkwardly unsocial and so was my daughter. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012


@hoosieroriginal wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

@hoosieroriginal wrote:

Sometimes you do have to just let it go.  My sister was bipolar and was so hard to deal with.  After years of trying, I finally gave up and cut her off.  She died at age 58 and I know she is in a better place.  She was angry her entire life, yelling, screaming, throwing fits, or would call you and not say a word after "hello".  Mental illness is reallly sad. 


@hoosieroriginal

That is so sad.  My former best friend had an adopted daughter who was bipolar (or whatever it's called these days).  I think there's a genetic component.  She was also an alcoholic, although I think she's been in AA for many years now.  She was a beautiful young girl, but I haven't seen her for years.

 

She had a son who shot himself in the head at the age of 19.  And I had seen him very shortly before that.  He was also tall and beautiful. 

 

Do you think there is a genetic component?


@sissy2 Tree - I really do - I think my mother was bipolar, as well as one of my daughters.  My sister's daughter also has problems which we think could be bipolar. 


@hoosieroriginal

Oh my, that is so sad.  It's bad enough when it's a physical illness, but when it's mental, it's so much sadder because the victim can't help it, they just don't have control over their lives.  And it's so hard on those who love them too.

 

I have to say my brother (the one with the problems) has always been somewhat strange.  I used to think he was just "dumb," but perhaps it's been more than that all of these years.  He did get into the Navy though.


@sissy2 Tree - I remember my sister standing across a lake and my mother saying "I'm so worried about that child, she's so odd".  Course, I remember my husband saying something similar about our daughter "There's something that's just not right".  I think it appears early - my sister was awkwardly unsocial and so was my daughter. 


@hoosieroriginal

My heart goes out to all of you. 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986