Pet Lovers

[RinaRina]

***** She's gone. *****

My beloved little doggie was put to sleep.  

When I was talking to the vet on the phone this morning, I just lost it.  She was going on and on and on ...

My head was spinning.  She was talking so much, I had to interrupt her ...

I said, "so, basically my dog will not get better"?

Answer: "Well, she won't get better but we can try to manage her symptoms.  I think the medication she was taking attacked her kidneys."

I LOST IT.  I started crying and screaming on the phone.  To THINK that my dog had already been to 4 other veterinarians who all prescribed Enalapril.  NOW THIS?????  After nine months of H*LL, I couldn't take it anymore -- watching my dog who was once so happy, lying on her bed everyday like a dead vegetable.  The cost of my dog's stay in the hospital from Friday evening to Sunday morning was $1500.  I'd already spent $7,000 since November.  How much would "managing" her symptoms cost?

It's over.  

G*d only knows how long my grief will last knowing I gave my dog a drug for 9 months that contributed to her death???  I hadn't smoked in thirty years -- now I'm smoking like a chimney.

I just couldn't take it anymore ... the BAD veterinary care, the drugs disrupting my dog's renal sytem.  Last year a neighbor picked up my dog and threw her across his yard and crippled her -- it was all just too much for me to take.  Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind this morning.

[MaggieMack]

@RinaRina, you absolutely did the right thing. Your doggie has found happiness at last in spirit, and now wishes that your grief not linger. She will visit you, whether in dream or reverie I cannot say, but she will visit to let you know that she is bounding in happiness once again. Please know that this whole community surrounds you in the love of understanding and the empathy of experience. Blessings to you both.

[NickNack1]

@RinaRina, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog.  I know how hard it was to make this decision, but it was absolutely the right decision.  It's one I've had to make many times, and I've never doubted that what I did was the best thing for my pets.  It's the last act of kindness you can give them.

[Bird mama]

@RinaRina

I need you to put out the cigarette and throw the rest of them out in the garbage can and pour water on them so you can't retrieve them (I used to smoke).

Now I need you to read what I am writing here and 'listen' and pay attention.

Rina, you did nothing wrong.  You are not a veterinarian.  You relied on medical professionals to advise you on the best way to manage your little one's disease.

In animals, just like in people, medication that is given for one condition often has side effects.  In the beginning, the drugs help, so I'd like you to remember that the medication helped your little one for a long period of time before the side effects kicked and unintended consequences materialized.

What matters above all, is that when the time came to give your little one back to God, you recognized it and gave her a peaceful and good death.

I cannot stress enough how important a good death is.  It is equally important as a good life.

You need to know that she loved you when she was here and she continues to love you.  My faith tells me that you will see each other again one day.

Please try to take comfort in that she is no longer suffering.  She is pain free and has freedom of movement, full range of motion and is again the happy little spirit like she was when she was younger.

(If there was a way for me to legally get away with laying into your neighbor with a bat, I would do it for you).

[RinaRina]

---

@Bird mama wrote:

@RinaRina

I need you to put out the cigarette and throw the rest of them out in the garbage can and pour water on them so you can't retrieve them (I used to smoke).

Now I need you to read what I am writing here and 'listen' and pay attention.

Rina, you did nothing wrong.  You are not a veterinarian.  You relied on medical professionals to advise you on the best way to manage your little one's disease.

In animals, just like in people, medication that is given for one condition often has side effects.  In the beginning, the drugs help, so I'd like you to remember that the medication helped your little one for a long period of time before the side effects kicked and unintended consequences materialized.

What matters above all, is that when the time came to give your little one back to God, you recognized it and gave her a peaceful and good death.

I cannot stress enough how important a good death is.  It is equally important as a good life.

You need to know that she loved you when she was here and she continues to love you.  My faith tells me that you will see each other again one day.

Please try to take comfort in that she is no longer suffering.  She is pain free and has freedom of movement, full range of motion and is again the happy little spirit like she was when she was younger.

(If there was a way for me to legally get away with laying into your neighbor with a bat, I would do it for you).

 I am so GRIEF-STRICKEN.  When I got home this afternoon (I had to go to the hospital to pay the bill), I closed all the blinds.  I feel like I don't ever want to see the sun again.

My dog had been to so many vets (besides the 4 mentioned), I just can't figure out WHO hurt her.  She was in another hospital last weekend.  I visited her Sunday and she was fine.  After their "Internist" saw her on Monday, she went downhill fast.  I keep thinking HE did something bad to her.  BTW, I'm out of cigarettes and did not go out to buy more.  Thanks for the pep talk.

---

[Bird mama]

@RinaRina

Kidney disease comes on out of the blue and goes downhill quickly.  Rina, I know that you are grief stricken and I want you to take the time to cry and if possible (don't know your home life) scream at the top of your lungs to get it out.

What I don't want you to do is doubt that you moved heaven and earth for your little one.

[NYwoman]

Rina, I am so sorry for your loss.    You did the right thing for your little girl.   It is wrong to keep them living if it means pain and suffering.   

I know how you feel about going from one vet to another and receiving different diagnoses and the dog doesn't get better.    Know that medication for one symptom/illness has side effects and can cause other conditions.   There may not be other medication alternatives.   

My Holly's spinal issues were treated with NSAIDs and Tramadol.   They did eventually cause kidney weakness.    Finally, there was no other medication to ease the pain and her body was shutting down little by little.   

Greive, wail, cry out, scream, whatever you need to do.    There is petloss,com that has a grief support chat room that can be helpful.    I used it.   

You are in my prayers   {{{{{{ Rina }}}}}}

[Dawn 06]

Birdmama,What a beautiful post that was.I tried to reply to your post but for some reason ,it did not.Sorry.

.I agree with everything you said..I am sorry that I can see only  1 post at a time but so many have offered such sweet comfort and good advice to help Rina during this loss.Such  kind pet lovers post here.

NYwoman,I am so sorry about your loss of your Holly too...Plus each that posted here about a dear departed pet or 1 that is sick.

Rina,My heart goes out to you and as hard as it was to lose her,you did all that you could .for her,then you did the hardest thing and let her go,because you loved her too much to see her in pain...Let yourself grieve,since that is a normal reaction when you lose someone you love.((((HUGS))))))))

I hope that as time goes by that you can remember her while she was healthy,running and playing like a puppy. instead of the harder times like now....I do believe that she is now at Rainbow Bridge,happily playing with all of ours that went before her.

Sending sweet basset hugs to wrap around your heart and comfort you..

[geezerette]

Oh Rina, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.  We always think as the last few months, weeks and days are upon us that we know the inevitable outcome and we are prepared.  But when it actually happens, we are not at all ready for the overwhelming grief and despair that decends on us.

I can't reiterate Birmama's posting to you more than she already did.  It wasn't your fault.  It probably wasn't even the veterinarians faults, either.  We take our loved ones to them looking for a miracle, to keep our babies with us happy and healthy as long as possible.  They can only do so much.  They don't hurt intentionally.   

I think we've all been in those situations where we blame ourselves for something out of our control, something that we think if we had done something differently the outcome would be what we wanted.  I'm still blaming myself for things I think I did that affected my little dog adversely.  (I lost her a few months ago.)  But with time, you will be able to see that realistically, you did all you could at the time with the information and ability you had.  What more could you have done?  To be blunt, there was no guarantee that your little girl would have done any better had you done anything differently.  It was her time to go.

Of course you are heartbroken.  It hurts me to even read about your anguish--I'm crying as I write this.  But it's done and she is now at peace.  Of course you are going to miss her and grieve for her and also, for a while, be angry--it's a natural reaction.  Time may never heal your wound completely, but it will soften the blow.  And one day, I do believe, you will be reunited with her and you both will be healthy and happy forever.

My sincere sympathies.

[Sammycat1]

Rina, I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog.  When you have a terminally ill pet, you try everything in desperation to give that pet the best quality of life for as long as possible, and when you lose him or her, nothing anyone else says can temper the hole that gets ripped through your heart.

Drugs for pets are like drugs for humans:  one drug helps one problem but makes another worse.  I've had it happen in my pet with heart failure.  We walked a tightrope of his medications for years until that tighrope wore thin and his body wore out. 

I railed at the unfairness of it and went through a litany of "If only I had's" until it exhausted me.  Nothing anyone said eased the grief and sometimes it bubbles up, even now, and the sorrow catches me unaware.  I was rigid in my anger and hurt at losing him.

Until one day it hit me:  perhaps my care and others' care of him was imperfect, but my love for him was pure and perfect.  Everything I did to help him came from a place of compassion.  And when everything you do comes from a place of love, you know you gave your dog the very best.

Between the words and lines of your sorrow in your post, your love for her shines, truly shines. And in time, the time you need, you'll come to see what we do:  that, in you, she had the very best.