Mom to Mom

[RedTop]

@panda1234 
IF either of my daughters ever forgot my birthday it would not be okay and they would certainly hear that from my own mouth.  ALL I really expect on my special day is to be remembered; by my husband, children, siblings, and closest friends.  I don't want gifts or a party and can do without cake (altho it's not a birthday to me unless there's cake), but I do want to be remembered.  I accept hugs in person, calls, cards and texts.  

Birthdays are important to me, ALL family birthdays are written on the calendar, cards are ready at the beginning of the month; I truly make every effort to remember.  My birthday is far more important to me than Mothers Day.  It has been made very clear from the very beginning that if I'm not acknowledged and treated respectfully all thru the year, my daughters ARE NOT to show up with cards, flowers, candy, whatever, on that one Sunday in May!  It has never happened, nor do I expect it to, as I have a close relationship with my girls and they do not take me for granted, just as I never took my mother or grandmother for granted.   

[Desertdi]

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@DrakesMomma wrote:

@Desertdi   -  Our moms must have been related.  

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@DrakesMomma      Hi, Cousin!       di

[lynnie61]

Birthdays are a big deal in our family.  We don't HAVE to celebrate ON the day, but I want a phone call, text or card (even an ecard).  I love birthday phone calls.  I don't need a gift, a dinner or a cake.  Just a thoughtful phone call or text.  My sister reminds my dad.  He is elderly, but just forgets.  We try to remind him and help him sends cards to others.

@panda1234   I don't have kids.  I would be hurt, but kids have busy, crazy lives sometimes.  I just think it's one day we want to be acknowledged. Just this week, I missed a friends birthday, and texted her a day later.  I felt awful.  She understood.  Life sometimes gets in the way.  

[panda1234]

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@lynnie61 wrote:

Birthdays are a big deal in our family.  We don't HAVE to celebrate ON the day, but I want a phone call, text or card (even an ecard).  I love birthday phone calls.  I don't need a gift, a dinner or a cake.  Just a thoughtful phone call or text.  My sister reminds my dad.  He is elderly, but just forgets.  We try to remind him and help him sends cards to others.

@panda1234   I don't have kids.  I would be hurt, but kids have busy, crazy lives sometimes.  I just think it's one day we want to be acknowledged. Just this week, I missed a friends birthday, and texted her a day later.  I felt awful.  She understood.  Life sometimes gets in the way.  

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@lynnie61 @I  too lead a busy life but still manage to cook a birthday meal and bake a cake. 

[panda1234]

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@RedTop wrote:

@panda1234 
IF either of my daughters ever forgot my birthday it would not be okay and they would certainly hear that from my own mouth.  ALL I really expect on my special day is to be remembered; by my husband, children, siblings, and closest friends.  I don't want gifts or a party and can do without cake (altho it's not a birthday to me unless there's cake), but I do want to be remembered.  I accept hugs in person, calls, cards and texts.  

Birthdays are important to me, ALL family birthdays are written on the calendar, cards are ready at the beginning of the month; I truly make every effort to remember.  My birthday is far more important to me than Mothers Day.  It has been made very clear from the very beginning that if I'm not acknowledged and treated respectfully all thru the year, my daughters ARE NOT to show up with cards, flowers, candy, whatever, on that one Sunday in May!  It has never happened, nor do I expect it to, as I have a close relationship with my girls and they do not take me for granted, just as I never took my mother or grandmother for granted.   

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@RedTop @Well said, I feel the same way. 

[panda1234]

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@hkrgrl wrote:

TBH, i think in today's tech world its pretty hard to forget a birthday. 

you put in your contact list and it pops up each year. 

that being said, i would be disappointed if one of my kids forgot, but luckily i haven't had that happen yet.  but i am sure, down the road, when their lives get even busier, it might.   

like another poster said:  life happens, things slip through the cracks etc.  

but if i needed them, they would come running.  most important to me. 

i  sure as hell would not be passive aggressive and call him and say 'oh did you forget something?'  ugh that is horrible and i strive everyday not be 'that person'. 

if you know deep down that he loves you, than let it go.  no one is perfect.  and most do not live up to our expectations. is it worth getting into a disagreement/argument?  

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@hkrgrl It is not worth getting into an argument so that's why I will not bring it up but the disappointment and hurt is still there.

[panda1234]

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@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

I wouldn't think anything of it if my kids forgot my birthday. No big deal -- I don't care about my birthday anymore.

We only made a big deal about birthdays when the kids were little.

If they were to say something about it later, I'd tell them that I didn't think anything of it and then change the subject. They have enough going on with work, etc. Why make them feel bad?

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@Daisy Sunflower We all lead busy lives today. If they were to bring up the subject at another time I would not let them think it didn't matter to me. I go out of my way to make each family member feel special on their birthday. I am not asking that in return, just a quick text to be acknowledged. 

[panda1234]

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@stevieb wrote:

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@stevieb wrote:

@panda1234  Why let it fester. Pick up the phone and call him. When he answers tell him you just thought you'd call so he could wish you a happy birthday. He'll most likely get the message.

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@panda1234  Did you call? I still think this is the way to go. Moreover, were it me, I'd try to handle this with a little humor. I think those urging confrontation are misreading the situation. Right or wrong, people shy away from people and situations that make them feel guilty. Giving him the opportunity to acknowledge the oversight, no matter how egregious it might seem, without serving a large helping of guilt will most likely effectively make the point that needs to be made.

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@stevieb No I have not made the call. I love what you wrote about calling so he could wish me a happy birthday. 

[panda1234]

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@LindaSal wrote:

I wouldn't say anything.   It's like crying over spilled milk.  I'm sorry that your feelings are hurt but my adult kids forget mine at times, they may call a few days later and that's fine.

We're not 10 years old for Pete's sake.  All this whining about hurt feelings and should I say something or not?   Do what you will but seriously my kids both work hard, long hours.  Half the time I don't think they even know what day it is.   I'm just happy that they are successful adults and good people.  Birthday's are not a big deal at this stage of the game, IMO. 

All I know is if I have any type of castastrophy in my life they would be there in a heartbeat and that's good enough for me.

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@LindaSal I would just like to be acknowledged on my special day. A quick text would be fine. I am not asking for a card, gift, cake or phone call just a text. I do a lot for my kids and I don't think this is a lot to ask. 

[Shawnie]

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@RedTop wrote:

@panda1234 
IF either of my daughters ever forgot my birthday it would not be okay and they would certainly hear that from my own mouth.  ALL I really expect on my special day is to be remembered; by my husband, children, siblings, and closest friends.  I don't want gifts or a party and can do without cake (altho it's not a birthday to me unless there's cake), but I do want to be remembered.  I accept hugs in person, calls, cards and texts.  

Birthdays are important to me, ALL family birthdays are written on the calendar, cards are ready at the beginning of the month; I truly make every effort to remember.  My birthday is far more important to me than Mothers Day.  It has been made very clear from the very beginning that if I'm not acknowledged and treated respectfully all thru the year, my daughters ARE NOT to show up with cards, flowers, candy, whatever, on that one Sunday in May!  It has never happened, nor do I expect it to, as I have a close relationship with my girls and they do not take me for granted, just as I never took my mother or grandmother for granted.   

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Yikes.