Re: WHAT IF A MOTHERS HEART IS RIGHT??

dayari · ‎08-23-2011

Thanks Sidsmom I watched Terms of Endearment years ago but will check it out if it comes on again.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

Trust the daughter you raised to make the right decision for herself. If you try to tear them apart or are praying for that to happen, she's going to sense that and then where will your relationship with her be?

In the long run, you're not marrying this man, she is. It's not ideal that he doesn't make you happy, but that's also not the important thing here. The important thing is that SHE's happy. You've told us all how you feel about him, but you've never mentioned how SHE feels about him and she's the one who's going to marry him. I think that's a really important detail.

Clear your mind of all your preconceived notions and ask your daughter how he makes her feel. If she's an adult and he makes he feel good about herself and makes her happy, then you need to set aside your own feelings because this engagement is about her life and her choices. If you want to be the best mother you can be, you need to learn about why she's making that choice, pray that she's happy and loved and that the best things happen for her, and be there for her no matter what happens next.

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carol50 · ‎04-21-2010

I feel your pain. My daughter was engaged to someone we felt was totally wrong for her. We had everything booked and she had money down on a house. All the deposits were paid by us. He did not have any money at stake. He was totally disrespectful towards us and very controlling towards my daughter. I finally put the entire situation in God's hands and shortly after that they broke up. We lost a lot of money but it was worth it. Seven years later she met a wonderful guy and she is now expecting her third child. My first granddaughter. She has two beautiful boys. Please don't give up hope and don't stop asking for opinions.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

If you (or anybody) isn't quite sure about a prospective SIL/DIL, I heavily advise to NOT pour a lot of $$$$ into the marriage. 'Wait and see'..........so to speak. If, after a few years, they seem to be able to care for each other, manage their money quite well, etc., then help them out if/when necessary. A word to the wise.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

sue52 · ‎04-12-2010

Dayari, I am so glad to have found your thread. Being in a similiar situation, I appreciate reading all the posts. I am going to reread some of them, as they give great insight and they are very helpful to me. Stay strong.

dayari · ‎08-23-2011

Carol50 your words meant a lot especially "put the entire situation in God's hands" that is exactly how I feel for GOD has always been there for me. I might not have understood why my son was born disabled, cannot walk, or talk but GOD has given me the strength and courage to raise him to be all that he can be. As a parent I may blame myself for not putting my daughter on the proper road so she would meet someone else. Perhaps if I had to do it all over again I would know differently. However I do believe we must travel ALL roads to get to our final destination, rough roads and smooth roads and all obstacles can be overcome with GOD's hand holding ours and Good Friends! Thank you all again.

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

Dayari,

As a parent, the worrying never really stops.

Like the other posters, I do agree with the premarital counseling that many churches offer and/or require. My husband and I went through that years ago and it provided great insight into the other's thoughts on child rearing, finances, faith etc. Many topics we had discussed anyway, but some we had not up until the counseling.

Also, there are some people out there that we immediately click with and some people that just have to grow on us. It has been my experience that when people "poke fun" at something it is usually because they lack confidence in certain areas of their life versus them just trying to be difficult.

Hang in there and maintain a positive relationship with your daughter as that will keep you approachable if/when she needs it.

dayari · ‎08-23-2011

I just heard a song and thought of this post its called RUDE by group MAGIC check it out if you get a chance on youtube - the video says it all but listen to lyrics of words....the scene at the dining room table where the father wants a different boy for his daughter ! I had to laugh bc I have the same mantel piece in my living room and again thanks to all that post I read them all and appreciate the time taken to write

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Oh my gosh! I would hope you and your daughter have a serious talk. Even if just to hold off for awhile. Red flags are up from what you say.

pinkskates4 · ‎03-10-2010

On 7/24/2014 dayari said:
Carol50 your words meant a lot especially "put the entire situation in God's hands" that is exactly how I feel for GOD has always been there for me. I might not have understood why my son was born disabled, cannot walk, or talk but GOD has given me the strength and courage to raise him to be all that he can be. As a parent I may blame myself for not putting my daughter on the proper road so she would meet someone else. Perhaps if I had to do it all over again I would know differently. However I do believe we must travel ALL roads to get to our final destination, rough roads and smooth roads and all obstacles can be overcome with GOD's hand holding ours and Good Friends! Thank you all again.

Wow. You really have a lot on your plate. I've read your other posts about your disabled daughter. I didn't realize you had a disabled son as well.

Praying for you.