My son is going to meet his birth father for the f... - Page 2

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Tough call for an outsider to make. I guess just the two of them would make the best sense. If all goes well, schedule a dinner with the wives to meet.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

The decision should be made by the father and son. Period.

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@wildcat fan wrote:
If I were in this position, I'd tell my son that I love him very much and want to do what I can to support him. Then I'd ask if he wanted me to be at that first meeting. Then I'd go if he said he wanted me there or I'd stay behind if he didn't want me there. Honestly, if the birth father has been absent all this time, I wouldn't place much value in what he wanted. The decision would be my son's.

@wildcat fan

I agree, that decision should be left up to the son alone.

DD was in this same position as a young adult and she chose NOT to meet him.

She said why should she care what this total stranger (to her) wants, when he didn't care enough to ever have contact with her since she was 2?

So be it, they didn't meet and she says she doesn't regret that decision, even after he has since passed away.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

I think the decision is your son's to make, whether or not he wants his wife with him.

Same with his biological father....that man's decision if he wants his wife there.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

To be fair, not all men know that they have a kid out there.

How can a guy be there, if he doesn't even know that he's a father?

It isn't unheard of for the woman to compleatly cut the guy compleatly out of the kid's life, and to not even tell him that she is pregnant with his kid.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

The two of them. I'm adopted, never met biological parents, never wanted to.

I'd think it would be better for the two of them to get to know each other a bit.

Hope all goes well.

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

IMO don't push him to take the scrap book. Seems a bit much for a first visit.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I think that first meeting should just be the two of them. This is not a social visit, this is so much more than that and it's very personal. There might be things they want to say to each other or emotions that will come out that they don't choose to share with their spouses. Or that they don't want to share with other one's spouse.