My son is going to meet his birth father for the first time.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

My question is, should it just be between the two of them the first time or should their wives come? I feel it should be just the two of them but I want to know what the forum thinks.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

That decision is between the son & father...doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

That's a personal decision that only the father & son could make.

Taskmaster56 · ‎08-26-2019

You didn't say what age your son might be or what his wishes were. If he is young and would feel more comfortable having you there (however briefly) to ease any awkwardness, then ok. My nephew had this experience. Though he was a young adult, he was too anxious to meet his biological dad alone. I feel your son's needs should determine what you choose to do.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

This is a decision that only the two of them can make.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

violann · ‎03-10-2010

@panda1234 wrote:
My question is, should it just be between the two of them the first time or should their wives come? I feel it should be just the two of them but I want to know what the forum thinks.

I may be misreading your question, @panda1234 (hope not), but in our house, wives' decision making always comes before mom's.

We always say "We support whatever decision you make".

I may grate my teeth aometimes, but so far, this policy has worked out well for all of us.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@violann wrote:
@panda1234 wrote:
My question is, should it just be between the two of them the first time or should their wives come? I feel it should be just the two of them but I want to know what the forum thinks.
I may be misreading your question, @panda1234 (hope not), but in our house, wives' decision making always comes before mom's.

We always say "We support whatever decision you make".

I may grate my teeth aometimes, but so far, this policy has worked out well for all of us.

@violann You are right, I am staying out of this. Just posted to see what others thought. I am however putting together a book of pictures of his life up to his wedding for this man to have. Very excited for my son.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Taskmaster56 wrote:
You didn't say what age your son might be or what his wishes were. If he is young and would feel more comfortable having you there (however briefly) to ease any awkwardness, then ok. My nephew had this experience. Though he was a young adult, he was too anxious to meet his biological dad alone. I feel your son's needs should determine what you choose to do.

@Taskmaster56 He is 28 and I would never go to the first meeting. I feel that is their time to get to know each other, we will meet at some point down the road.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

just the 2,

if it goes well, then the families

wildcat fan · ‎03-23-2010

If I were in this position, I'd tell my son that I love him very much and want to do what I can to support him. Then I'd ask if he wanted me to be at that first meeting. Then I'd go if he said he wanted me there or I'd stay behind if he didn't want me there. Honestly, if the birth father has been absent all this time, I wouldn't place much value in what he wanted. The decision would be my son's.