Kitchen

[depglass]

Age? Deafness? I have a neighbor like this, no matter what the conversation he brings up stuff from his past. We often can't even find the connecting thread. The only thing we can do is just interrupt and talk about the original subject.

[HonnyBrown]

dep, she's older, but she's just one of those people who prides herself on being able to talk to anyone about anything. She just doesn't realize that I don't want to hear it!

I'm not one to stand up for myself, but I have to. She is making something I enjoy tortuous.

[Jeanhelen57]

Can't you just try and come up with something to talk about that wouldn't be so painfully boring??? I think I would just, in a light-hearted way, say something like "gee...we are always talkimg about cider..I know more about cider than I do about you and that's not good! So--tell me, ........." and then ask her about herself, where she was born, what does she cook, what does she think about the weather, how many kids she has.... She may be a very lonely person who just has no clue about how to interact with others and you could really help her out..

[DiAnne]

On 10/16/2014 Sooner said:

On 10/16/2014 expatgal said:

You just reminded me of why I hate volunteer work. I know, that sounds horrible. But in reality (at least for me) it sounds great on paper but isn't for me. Either there are 1 or 2 people who want to be "chiefs" and do little to no grunt work, or you have people like you are describing here. I find it more depressing than rewarding. She's a leech, plain and simple. You've told her clearly you have zero interest in cider and she still hounds you about it? I would stop being so "nice" ... but that's just me.

Yes, I had to learn the hard way about leeches! Also, I agree 100 percent about volunteer work. So often a few people are sidetracked, arguing, petting one another, goofing off, being beautiful, or whatever while the worker bees do all the work. And usually the others get to decide how the worker bees are going to do their work.

Bad attitude????

I volunteer two shifts a week at our local food bank. I am a worker bee in the warehouse and I glad I don't volunteer with you two!

[ROMARY]

I would leave the meeting after 30 minutes. I'd tell the others to email any additional information that I would be missing. Maybe the other three just might get up and leave, too. As far as a meeting, one can discuss just about anything online. No need to waste three hours at 'her' house, IMO. I don't have any patience in wasting precious information/meeting time.

[Sooner]

You need to go watch some episodes of Doc Martin (PBS) for picking up social "skills" to help solve this problem. Learn to say "Shut UP!"

LOL!!! I do feel your pain and yes, you sometimes have to be rude to people as an act of self preservation. What I do at the Post Office is stand in line, never make eye contact, turn slightly away and I have perfected the art of not appearing to have heard a word someone says. I HATE when people yap at me at the post office. It sort of scares me and I don't want to chit chat. So turn slightly away from her, make NO facial indication you even hear her, and NEVER answer. It works for me! She'll soon shut up and go bother someone else!

[house_cat]

We had a custodian like that who would come into my classroom at 4 o'clock in the afternoon when I was desperately trying to get done so I could go home. No hints worked with him. I finally brought an iPod and ear phones. When he'd enter the room I'd smile and nod a hello, then act like I couldn't hear him. Of course, I actually could hear him even through the music, because he never stopped chatting. At least that way I didn't have to respond and I could pay attention to what I was doing.

There are some people who can't handle "dead air". My mom is one of them. She will blabber about anything just to avoid silence. I've told her, "Mom, it's okay to be quiet sometimes" and she'll say, "What are we supposed to do, just sit here and LOOK at each other?"

[HonnyBrown]

Sooner, I would love to be able to say "Shut the eff up!" but that's not me.

Jeanhelen, while she is a fellow volunteer, I have no interest in her as a person or trying to help with her dysfunctions.

House_cat, debc, recommended ear buds, but that wouldn't work at an Information Booth.

[ChynnaBlue]

On 10/16/2014 HonnyBrown said:

I'm going to be straightforward (again) and tell her that I have no interest in cider. If that doesn't work, I will be rude.

As for the meeting, it was held at her house. There were four of us total, and had she not interrupted every time someone said a word, we could have had a productive meeting that concluded after 30 minutes, max. Because of her stories, it lasted over 3 hours and it was torture. It happened so gradually, that we didn't realize what was occurring until it was too late.

I know for next time.

Chynna, while I'm scheduled to work a certain time, she shows up when a volunteer is needed.

Everywhere I've volunteered, they've had someone there to coordinate and say "We need you to help here" or "Go ask if Nancy needs help" or something. Can you talk someone and request that she not be sent to your area to do her volunteering?

[house_cat]

On 10/17/2014 HonnyBrown said:

House_cat, debc, recommended ear buds, but that wouldn't work at an Information Booth.

Yes. I understand. I wanted you to know you're not alone.

My hubby is one of those people who says aloud pretty much every thought that comes to his head. He doesn't do this in public, but when we're home, it's an issue. I'm very quiet. As a teacher, I've learned that I will be tuned out if I use too many words. I only speak when I have something to say and I want to be heard. DH complains that I don't listen to him. It's like the Boy Who Cried Wolf... if you talk constantly no one will listen when it really matters.