Kitchen

[Poodlepet2]

May I ask a silly question-and please enlighten me....but is cider like wine? I suppose you can make cider out of different kinds of apple's, and maybe there are nuances-just like wine, but what is the deal with this woman talking about cider????? Poodlepet

[Hoovermom]

Can you take a little break from this volunteer position? From your posts it is obvious that she is not hearing you (email about book). Who heads up the volunteers? Ask to be moved away from her. Volunteering is suppose to be "fun", not a dreaded time.

[HonnyBrown]

Poodlepet, cider is like wine only as far as the fact that it has an alcohol content. I know wine; that's why I'm the Wine Coordinator. I have no clue about cider, and I don't know why she attaches me to it.

Expat and sooner, you both are right, in that volunteering can drain the fun out of you. But this is normally an easy and fun job. Most of us get along well and the people we are helping (customers) appreciate it, as well as the Market Master.

Hoovermom, volunteers at the market have different duties: the come in to set up the stations (that's what she does), then the information booth for the first two hours (me), the information booth for the last two hours, then breakdown.

The market relies on volunteers to function. I sign up for the first shift. Cider Lady will drop by, as a lot of volunteers do, and start working. How do you ask the Market Master to turn away much needed help?

[chrystaltree]

I usually just walk away...... The meeting might have lasted three hours but I doubt that you were required to sit there for three hours.

[Sabatini2]

HonnyBrown, since your interest is in wine, the Cider Lady is probably trying to connect her passion to yours, and perhaps trying to impress you a little along the way?

[Foggy morning]

You could tell her you've apparently developed an allergy to apples and you don't even like to talk that much about them. Good luck!

[ChynnaBlue]

Honny, is there a reason you have to work with her? Can you ask the person in charge of scheduling volunteers not to station the two of you in the same area or ask for alternating shifts? It's important to let the people in charge know she's an issue because she may be chasing other good volunteers away, too. Maybe they can redirect her efforts.

In the meantime, you could try:

* Getting bold and telling her you're not interested in cider and she should find someone else who is.

*Explaining that you don't want to hear about cider because you're not interested in it, but open the conversation up by asking her about other things she's interested in that you might have in common and talking about those things.

*Telling her you have an allergy or had a bad cider experiencing. Tell her about that time (that made up time) that you drank some at a party and then vomited and dry-heaved for days. Go into detail - chunky, gooey detail.

[Lucky Charm]

I think she suffers from a social disorder. I know people who can only start conversations of one subject. If they are involved in other conversations, they will bring up the subject into any conversation. It's awkward, but I just go along with it.

I would not let her or anyone sidetrack a meeting for three hours or one hour going off subject. I would have politely excused myself once business was done being discussed.

[ChynnaBlue]

On 10/16/2014 Lucky Charm said:

I think she suffers from a social disorder. I know people who can only start conversations of one subject. If they are involved in other conversations, they will bring up the subject into any conversation. It's awkward, but I just go along with it.

I would not let her or anyone sidetrack a meeting for three hours or one hour going off subject. I would have politely excused myself once business was done being discussed.

I agree.

Sounds like the person in charge of that meeting could use a copy of Roberts Rules of Order and some lessons in time management agenda creation. A written agenda helps people stick to topics and move along.

I facilitate a lot of meetings and there are people who need to be redirected often, and it's the facilitators job to do that. If it's a group that meets regularly, the facilitator usually knows who those people are and can head it off early or even talk to those people in advance of the meeting, explaining that they're glad the person showed up and enlisting the talker's help in keeping to the schedule.

Another way to address this is to have a group social after meetings. If the team can get through the agenda on time, everyone can meet for drinks and off-topic chat at a favorite local place nearby. That's what one of my monthly workshop groups does and we always end on time.

If a meeting has no scheduled end time or goes way past the scheduled end time, it disrespects everyone's time and that's not acceptable.

[HonnyBrown]

I'm going to be straightforward (again) and tell her that I have no interest in cider. If that doesn't work, I will be rude.

As for the meeting, it was held at her house. There were four of us total, and had she not interrupted every time someone said a word, we could have had a productive meeting that concluded after 30 minutes, max. Because of her stories, it lasted over 3 hours and it was torture. It happened so gradually, that we didn't realize what was occurring until it was too late.

I know for next time.

Chynna, while I'm scheduled to work a certain time, she shows up when a volunteer is needed.