@rnmom wrote:
I have so many different thoughts on this. My kids are still school age, one is just finishing up middle school and one is just finishing up elementary school, and I agree, the lists that the schools send home each year of supplies for each of the kids is ridiculous. As they get older you wouldn't think that they would use crayons, markers, colored pencils, etc, etc, etc, but yet they ask for the same stuff over and over. My kids have even remarked that they don't use half of what they take in. We used to buy lots of supplies but have slowed down because the kids are not using half of it.
I know that some of our teachers use the supplies as community for the classroom for everyone to use and I have a big problem with this too. I totally understand in preschool, kindergarden and the younger grades that it may be difficult to keep each child's supplies separate but once they're in upper elementary and definitely in middle school, there should be no reason for the teacher to take the items for general use. If I choose to buy items to donate that's different. Otherwise my child should be able to keep his items at his own desk/locker.
And then there are the ones that @Mominohio mentioned, they are making 6 figures, more than me, but are the first ones in line to get free supplies. I absolutely do not mind helping those that are truly in need, but I see so many people, kids and grown ups alike that get everything for free, school supplies, breakfast and lunch at school, etc, but they have expensive phones, video games, cars.
One year, several years ago, I was going to donate to Toys for Tots over the holidays and I remember reading the criteria for how much a family needs to make in order to qualify for free gifts. I don't remember what the number was, but I do remember being very surprised at how high it was, almost as much as my husband makes. I decided right then that I wasn't going to donate after all. I feel bad for the kids but parents need to learn to make better choices and not just expect to get everything handed to them. It all definitely makes me cynical and not want to donate anything to anyone.
@rnmom
I know when the subject of charity or those in need come up in other forums (Community Chat in particular) there is a lot of slamming if you judge others level of 'need', but honestly I believe in the 'charity begins at home' philosophy, and my husband and I were just talking about this this morning. We believe it means that you take care of your needs and providing for yourself and 'yours' first, because if not, you not only won't be part of the 'solution' but will put yourself in the position of having to be helped. And there is only so many resources out there, in any category. If I don't do my best, to take care of me and 'mine' I could easily be taking resources from others much worse off and in much more true need than I.
"Need" is relative for sure. It depends on who it doing the considering and from what financial position they are coming from. I often relate that many of America's 'poor' are very wealthy relative to millions of people in other places in the world, but relative to those that live here, might not seem so well off.
I have a big problem with the lack of responsibility that is condoned/excused/accepted today. As a society, whether it is the government or private charity, the more we just provide for people (who can provide for themselves, but don't), the more they seem to be willing to take.
Taking 'help' used to be something people did as a last resort. And yes, some people are still that way. And some of the most giving people I know are among those that have the least to give, but feel they are blessed enough and always willing to give.
But after years of jobs that my husband and I both had, where we were in daily contact with people using the 'system', (both the public and private 'systems'), I can say, there are so many abusing and making a life (sometimes multi generational lives) of just taking. And the expectations and sense of entitlement, the idea that everything is now a right, to be provided, not worked for, is crossing all economic levels.
I know that because of our experiences, and seeing what we have seen, we still give, but we are much more discerning about where. And it isn't like I expect my choices to be right for others. I do believe that it is important to give, to pay it forward, and to give back. I think everyone should do it (though I certainly respect one's right to not as well). I think what is great, is that we all pick the things that are important to us, that speak to us as the places we choose to help.
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