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[Mominohio]

Here is how I see it and feel.

I think if you move a lot throughout your life, you tend to be less connected to a place or a house. In my very young years we moved a lot, and then stayed one place for 20 years (through my college years and beyond). I feel that last place was my childhood home, and it was with some sadness I walked out for the last time when my mom sold it and we moved her. I still think of it often and have vivid memories. Because of it's location, I have never considered trying to buy it and move back to my childhood home. 

My first home that I owned, I still pine for. I loved the house. The, style, the age and strength of it (solid old brick, with thick plaster walls), the charm of the unique windows, beautiful fire place etc. period wood work and doors, I loved the neighborhood, the huge maple trees that shaded the yard.....the times spent there. 

Both of those homes have such vivid memories that flood back to me. It takes just the right time of day for instance, with the sun dappling through the leaves of the trees, dancing on the walls of my bedroom, and I'm back to another time and place that felt just the same. 

The home we have lived in now, for 23 years, I'm not as attached to (or so I think at this time). The house itself is not what I wanted (but when shopping rural with a budget, you often can't find the old brick home I wanted, within the budget we had, and if you do it is dilapidated). 

I raised my son here, we entertained so many family members here that meant so much to me but are now gone, and I do wonder when it is time to leave, how much that will sadden me. I can walk the property and see them here, the walks we took, the conversations we had, and I'm comforted being in places they once were.

I wonder if it will haunt me to not have my grandchildren play on the same dock of the pond that my son did. I wonder if I will miss the tree that held his swing, and the tree where he built a tree house. I wonder if I will miss the woods we spent so much time in soaking in the silence and sounds of nature. I wonder if I will miss the garden and the orchard. 

I believe that when you love a house it becomes a home. I believe that with the passage of time, the walls of homes hold memories and spirit. I have walked into old homes, and I honor the births, the deaths, the celebrations and joy as well as the sadness and stresses that have permeated it's rooms. Perhaps I'm a hopeless romantic, but I feel the history of places when I'm in or near them. 

I miss several of my relatives homes from my childhood too. Many I spent a lot of time in, and I think of those times and those places often.

Can I move on and find happiness? Of course. Do I hope that the next people love and embrace the place like we have?  Yes. (I know the lady who bought my last house did, and I know it was important to the people we bought from that we be happy here, they had a hard time leaving after raising their family on this land).

Do I think everyone feels like that about a house or a home? No. Nor do I expect them to. I think certain things mean more to some people than others, and we all find value in different things. 

People are most important in life, but places are very emotional to me, not just homes, but other places where we make our memories.

I hope that when people visit my home, or when they tour it to buy it, they see the importance and the connection I have to my home, as I'm not the least bit ashamed of it. 

[GingerPeach]

Beautifully said, @Mominohio

I can see that essay expanded into a magazine article (at minimum!).

[mysterylady]

I lived in several apartments before we purchased our first house. I didn't like the house or the location so I was anxious to move when the time came.

We then built a lovely home - good neighborhood, near schools - just a great home. I went every day to oversee the building process. We lived there for 12 years, had three children, entertained a lot, and celebrated many important events. But, the marriage didn't last.

During divorce negotiations my ex would say "you're staying..." then change to "the house has to go." Eventually the house was sold. I decided to take my share of the proceeds and build another house since the children were still of school age.

Some of the valuables I moved myself in my car.The day the movers came and I watched the truck pull away, I was inconsolable as I drove away alone. I have never fully recovered and that was 35 years ago.

Since it's within a few miles of my current home I do drive by at times and still miss it terribly. I think I had so much invested in the building/selecting process it was like another child. If I could I would move back today.

While my present home was built to my specification, one would think I would have the same attachment to it but that's not the case.

I would think that since I have never remarried there was never a complete family who lived here even though I had the children living with me. There have been good memories here too, just not the same.

I would think it depends on many varied circumstances as to whether there is an emotional attachment. I'm living proof that one can be content, albeit not as happy. I never plan on moving from here unless it becomes physically/mentally impossible to perform the upkeep (or unless a miracle occurs and I would somehow have an opportunity to rebuy my first home),

[AuntG]

I've always felt a connection to any home I lived in. The distance between them is negligible so I have an opportunity to drive by them as often as I like.  

[ZoetheCat]

I know in my head that a house is really just four walls and that the memories made within travel with us when we leave ....however, I cannot fathom that there may come a time when I have to leave this home that I love.

My parents gave my sister and I the land on which we built our homes, on a dead end road, directly across from each other.  My childhood home is 300 yards up the road from us.  Mom still lives there, but dad passed 11 years ago.

My husband,who actually works in high tech sales, took on the role of general contractor when we built our house. He is truly a "jack of all trades" and I am amazed that he was able to work full time and work on the house evenings/weekends.  My dad, who was in his 70s at the time, was in his element. He bought a second-hand backhoe and did all the landscaping. He spent hours running back forth to the lumber yard getting supplies. My mom still tells me that he had the time of his life watching us build our house.  In the middle of construction, dad also took a class in metal work at the local technical high school so he could make my sister and I matching post lanterns.

It was summer when we built our house, and one of my enduring memories is dad on his golf cart riding to the "back 40" to check on construction progress.  Although he's been gone for a while now, his mark is everywhere here.  All I need do is go down to our basement and see his initials, along with my husband's, which they carved into the wet concrete when the cellar was being poured.

In the 23 years we've lived here, we have made all kinds of improvements.  In fact, we are currently in the middle of several projects.  We have so much history here, so many memories, that I can't imagine leaving.  None of us knows what the future holds, and I am aware of the fact that someday I may have no choice, but, if it happens, that will be a sad day indeed.

[GingerPeach]

You know, I completely forgot to add that one of the things I care most about is my garden.  Even though it's small, it attracts a lot of birds.  They sit on a special bare branch on the small Japanese black pine that shelters the bird bath.  The birds also enjoy picking at the blossoms of the gorgeous tea tree when it blooms in spring.

I really hope someone who understands nature will not change at least those two things in the garden.

This is the tea tree.

[Drythe]

As a child we moved many times, there is no place, or house I can go back to, or think of as the place where I grew up.

I have only owned two homes.  My DH and I designed & contracted the building of both of them.  When we sold our first home it was really the only place I had lived in for any length of time and I was a mess, crying, and so sad.  I loved the deer we had fed, and the pond where our dogs swam.  All our plants, and so many personal touches we had put in over the years.

Our second home has more land, and is much larger.  I love it too, and we have wildlife, and huge trees, and flowers here too.  Love this home just as much.  It is way too large for just two, and we should probably downsize (ugh, there has to be a better word), But every time we talk about it we both RUN the other way!

This is our home, not house, and we both love it.  I dread thinking about leaving.

*** edited to add

Home is my safe place, the place I know I can always come back to.

DH only lived in 2 homes as a child, both in the same city.  His family still lives there.  I think the way you feel about your home has lots to do with life experiences.

[ID2]

In 1997 we sold our first home. My children grew up there. That house was very difficult to me to let go....so many memories. I actually wrote a heartfelt note to the buyers and left it for them to read. I never heard what they thought of that note but we sold it to an elderly couple. They probably couldn't relate. I just sold my second home in 2015. We built this house, everything was personally mine. But this time I closed the door behind me and never looked back. My life now is sooooo much better and I never long for any of my other homes. Life is now PERFECT! 

[ZoetheCat]

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wrote:

You know, I completely forgot to add that one of the things I care most about is my garden.  Even though it's small, it attracts a lot of birds.  They sit on a special bare branch on the small Japanese black pine that shelters the bird bath.  The birds also enjoy picking at the blossoms of the gorgeous tea tree when it blooms in spring.

I really hope someone who understands nature will not change at least those two things in the garden.

This is the tea tree.

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This is a really lovely garden @GingerPeach

[Lucky Charm]

I sold a home about 25 years ago. It.was the first house my children were brought home to. Had many family dinners with grandparents and great aunts and uncles. Was a gorgeoues old home. Very warm and inviting. But too small and i thought I'd be having more children.

I still.dream about that house. Usually in my dreams I sneak in and try to make dinner for my young family. Before the new owners get home. It's very stressful lol.

It's millions of miles from me now. Actually hundreds. But when i go north to see my sister i go out of my way to go past it at least once a year. It's still.pretty. i joke and tell my husband I want to buy it if I ever caught it on the market. Ironically i live in a much smaller home in the winter now.