Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

I pretty much think most parents say that to their kids, especially when the parents are in a situation where they really don’t need anything. 

The parents I have known say it because it’s a thing parents say. But, there genuinely are people of all ages who appear to hate receiving gifts, and are resentful and annoyed when they do, often to the point of rudeness. And a ‘thank you’? No way in heck. You’d be lucky if you didn’t catch them tossing it in the Goodwill pile or buried in a dresser somewhere.

[Peaches McPhee]

Buy him experiences.  Take him to lunch, mueseums, day trips.

[matty liz]

Thank you for reminding me to be a gracious receiver.  

[Love my grandkids]

@Carmie Wow! You sound really bitter about giving to charity. It's not up to YOU to tell your kids whether to spend, save or give it away.

I pity you, I really do. I know you don't care, but I'm glad I don't feel the way you do about giving to charity.

[jlkz]

After my mom passed from Alzheimer's in the nursing home, I tried to create a livable environment for my dad in his split level home.  With his bad legs and feet, I tried to get him to put in a small bathroom next to the laundry room which was on the same level as his garage.  Adding a   small apartment size stove to go next to the refrigerator that was already there, would complete one-floor living for him at 87.

I also tried to have chair lifts placed on the split stair case to no avail....

i would handle the project for him....but no, " Don't go spending my money..."

Well he continued on for 2 painful years...life could have been so much easier for him for a few dollars that none of us would have missed.

[Desert Lily]

My mom was 88 when she passed last year, and the last few years I would say to her that she should save her money to buy something that she likes. I felt guilty having her spend her money on me because I have a job and a higher income. She explained to me that she wanted to give my child and me gifts and would feel very hurt if we didn't accept them. I could see the emotion in her eyes and never told her again not to spend her money on us. It made her feel good to be able to give to the ones she loved.

[SusieQ_2]

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@Love my grandkids wrote:

@Carmie Wow! You sound really bitter about giving to charity. It's not up to YOU to tell your kids whether to spend, save or give it away.

I pity you, I really do. I know you don't care, but I'm glad I don't feel the way you do about giving to charity.

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Well, that's ironic.

I'm sorry that was said to you Carmie. You didn't deserve that at all. 

[AuntG]

A big canister of Planter's Mixed Nuts was one thing I knew my dad would like.

[Moonchilde]

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@Desert Lily wrote:

My mom was 88 when she passed last year, and the last few years I would say to her that she should save her money to buy something that she like. I felt guilty having her spend her money on me because I have a job and a higher income. She explained to me that she wanted to give my child and me gifts and would feel very hurt if we didn't accept them. I could see the emotion in her eyes and never told her not to spend her money on us. It made her feel good to be able to give to the ones she loved.

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That’s it, in a nutshell. For all the “don’t spend your money on me” protesting, most people would be very hurt if no one wanted to get them anything. You gift people because you love them and want to gift them. Your gift could cost $1 or $100, and most people do spend appropriate to their income. But don’t take that small pleasure from the giver who loves you.

Of course, if you’re doing it because you “have” to, because it’s expected, but you don’t like the person, or they don’t like you, or if it’s mutual, if I was told “don’t” I’d drop that gifting in a heartbeat. I save my gifts for the people I love, and who love me in return.

[dex]

@Financialgrl@You are such a sweet person.