When to Stop Gifting

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

My neighbor has three girls, ages 7, 14, and 16. We have a nice relationship with them and the husband has always been very helpful and we give him a large check at Christmas for his help during the year. They are much younger but always include us in their friends and family gatherings. For years I have bought the girls birthday and Christmas presents. As they age I am finding it difficult, and expensive, to choose gifts they would like. With each year I'm tempted to stop this gift giving but not sure if I should or continue. I've thought about just giving them Christmas gifts and stopping the birthdays. Thoughts.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

tough one

have u received thank you notes or acknowlegments from the kids for the gifts?

or the parents

start there

1Professor · ‎12-07-2014

@Biftu

I'm actually studying the stresses and strategies of gift giving (and receiving!).

One lovely TRANSITION (seems needed here rather than abrupt stop) is to stop the birthday gifts (which is now burdensome to you) but give the kids a family gift at Christmas.

Games, crafts, things to make are appreciated by girls (especially popular is bracelet making kits FYI). Fun craft projects the girls can share with others would be something you could do each year (not having to come up with novel ideas for each girl).

Sweet Kitties · ‎09-03-2017

You sound like a very nice person! Maybe if you just be honest with them & let them know that it's getting financially hard to keep giving gifts. I'm sure they would understand. Maybe you could give the girls the gift of your time or teach them something they might want to learn. Perhaps making Christmas cookies with them or teaching them a skill you have (knitting, crochet, sewing, painting?) My grandma taught me to cook & I enjoyed my time with her much more than a gift. Maybe have a special pizza & game or movie night. I don't know what the girls are like or what they would enjoy. Just throwing out ideas. The thing is in my mind, you shouldn't feel guilty about not giving gifts anymore when it's hard to do.

PinkyPetunia · ‎03-09-2010

Scale back your gift giving rather than eliminating entirely if you are comfortable with that. One smaller cash gift for the whole family at Christmas, maybe with a food gift like cookies or cake the whole family can enjoy.

We rescue cats · ‎01-25-2023

Would a family gift certificate work for them? Dinner and a movie or a nice dinner out for the family? We used a cut of off high school graduation but moved to 16 because it became apparent that I was out of touch with gifts for kids. Thankfully we no longer have any youngsters to buy for.

Lynn-Critter Lover!
(especially cats!)

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@1Professor wrote:
@Biftu

I'm actually studying the stresses and strategies of gift giving (and receiving!).

One lovely TRANSITION (seems needed here rather than abrupt stop) is to stop the birthday gifts (which is now burdensome to you) but give the kids a family gift at Christmas.

Games, crafts, things to make are appreciated by girls (especially popular is bracelet making kits FYI). Fun craft projects the girls can share with others would be something you could do each year (not having to come up with novel ideas for each girl).

I agree because my grandkids are getting expensive to give gifts to as they get older. My DGD is getting to an age where she admires what I wear... while flattering, not what imam ready for lol

My DD has said that as gift suggestions, she would appreciate ie: tickets 🎟️ for activities to take them to; craft projects they can work on to keep them busy are two I can remember.

Kids collect so many sets that leave the house messy; I can relate.

I really like the idea of a family gift as a transition! It seems that your generousity of giving a check to the husband should really suffice.

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

1Professor · ‎12-07-2014

@Biftu @LTT1 + all

Can we all remember BOOKS, please.

Gift certificates to a family are NEVER gifts to the girls. The family probably isn';t money-needy. More fun, typically, to give to children.

BOOKS! A book gift certificate to the local BOOKSTORE (better than an online thing) sends them to each search for their own. One certificate for each girl. It supports the local bookstore (or nearest bookstore).

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

I went through this with my great nieces and nephews and now have great great nieces and nephews. I give them $$$ for their birthday and a gift card for Christmas but once they turn 18, I stop with the b'day & Christmas gifts.

I also like the idea of a family gift at Christmas. I've done this in the past and have given a gift card to our local movie theater.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

@1Professor wrote:
@Biftu @LTT1 + all

Can we all remember BOOKS, please.

Gift certificates to a family are NEVER gifts to the girls. The family probably isn';t money-needy. More fun, typically, to give to children.

BOOKS! A book gift certificate to the local BOOKSTORE (better than an online thing) sends them to each search for their own. One certificate for each girl. It supports the local bookstore (or nearest bookstore).

@1Professor @What a coincidence you should say that. One of the gifts to the youngest girl was a book. The theme was perfect for her because it was about summers with cousins of which she has many. Not sure though about teenagers and books. They seem to be more interested in makeup!