Community Chat

[MickD]

Showing or giving of yourself to others without expectation of external reward....the most human of all traits it should be, right?

[ChynnaBlue]

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@151949 wrote:

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@mstyrion 1 wrote:

Disagreement can be kind or unkind.  It all depends on the words and tone used.

I think you know the difference.

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How do you hear tone in a written word????

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Really??? What a question!

Sorry, I think you asked a good question, but I wanted to use a solid example. I just demonstrated a negative, condescending tone. I'm guessing you knew exactly what kind of tone I set by the words and punctuation I used. Tone can tricky in the written word, but it's still possible to pick up on someone's tone through writing.

Sometimes it's subtle and lot harder to pick up, leaving more room for interpretation than my obvious example. That's why is why it's easier for people to have misunderstandings about tone in the written word and why sometimes people get mad at someone who has no idea why people are mad at her/him. Tone can be confusing - but I think there are times when it's very clear.

And tone is getting trickier these days instead of easier. Now that texting is more popular and people use a Send button the end a message, some people think that using a period at the end of a sentence can signal that the sender is either insincere or aggressive. I always thought it was just good grammar, but it turns out it sets a tone that I did not intend and that can offend some people or make them think I'm angry with them.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/12/20/459485722/you-should-watch-the-way-you-punc...

[Pqfan]

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@nun ya wrote:

It's all in the delivery.

You can say " I read this, you may want to look it up"

instead of...

"You uneducated fool, google it, maybe you can comprehend"

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@nun ya LOL! I love this post!

I am laughing so hard I think orange soda is going to come out of my nose if I am not careful!

Yes it is all in the delivery!

[MacDUFF]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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...some people think that using a period at the end of a sentence can signal that the sender is either insincere or aggressive. I always thought it was just good grammar, but it turns out it sets a tone that I did not intend and that can offend some people or make them think I'm angry with them.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/12/20/459485722/you-should-watch-the-way-you-punc...

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@ChynnaBlue

Hi Chynna...long time no chat!  This is an example of the extremes some people will take to be offended.  It IS good grammar to end a sentence with a period.  To say so, not to mention do it, is in no way intended to be mean. If someone thinks you're angry with them or insincere or aggressive because of it, that is all kinds of wrong on their part.  Is it unkind of me to say that I will be ending my sentences with a period and I won't care a whit if someone redefines that action as [fill in the blank]?  This is just plain bizarre, and that's the nicest thing I can think to say!

[ChynnaBlue]

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@MacDUFF wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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...some people think that using a period at the end of a sentence can signal that the sender is either insincere or aggressive. I always thought it was just good grammar, but it turns out it sets a tone that I did not intend and that can offend some people or make them think I'm angry with them.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/12/20/459485722/you-should-watch-the-way-you-punc...

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@ChynnaBlue

Hi Chynna...long time no chat!  This is an example of the extremes some people will take to be offended.  It IS good grammar to end a sentence with a period.  To say so, not to mention do it, is in no way intended to be mean. If someone thinks you're angry with them or insincere or aggressive because of it, that is all kinds of wrong on their part.  Is it unkind of me to say that I will be ending my sentences with a period and I won't care a whit if someone redefines that action as [fill in the blank]?  This is just plain bizarre, and that's the nicest thing I can think to say!

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Hi, @MacDUFF! I'm with you on this. It seems to be a millennial thing and limited to texting or messaging apps, like Facebook Messenger or Kik. the same people who say this DO use periods in emails and other documents, thank goodness!  I had no idea it was a thing until I read some articles about it and started asking around.

When I consider just text and messages, I can understand where they're coming from. Here, you need a period to indicate the end of a sentence. In a text, the Send button functions as the indicator that the thought or sentence is complete and the period becomes redundant and seems overly formal. It's weird, but I can at least understand the reasoning behind it now, even if I may never get used to it myself.

[libbyannE]

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@libbyannE wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

So often on this board posters will say someone is "unkind" or mean , nasty, snarky etc etc - whatever they can think up - just because someone disagrees with their point of view.  That is certainly an incorrect usage of the word kind or kindness IMO. You may say you are being disagreeable but why is it unkind to disagree with your opinion? Maybe your opinion is incorrect. So I'm interested to hear how people define the word kind or kindness. It seems the definition is subjective.

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In the context of your question, kindness is about respect. You respect where someone else is coming from and perhaps you disagree. You confine your comments to facts and do not make it personal. You build on or honor someone's idea --  "I see what you are saying..."  "It's interesting to hear another point of view...." "We disagree but I respect your concern...."--and then perhaps say you feel differently and why. Respect! We all fail at times in life, but that is the goal. 

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Great post @libbyannE, very well said!

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Gee, thanks for taking your time to say that. You made my day. 

[MacDUFF]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@MacDUFF wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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...some people think that using a period at the end of a sentence can signal that the sender is either insincere or aggressive. I always thought it was just good grammar, but it turns out it sets a tone that I did not intend and that can offend some people or make them think I'm angry with them.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/12/20/459485722/you-should-watch-the-way-you-punc...

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@ChynnaBlue

Hi Chynna...long time no chat!  This is an example of the extremes some people will take to be offended.  It IS good grammar to end a sentence with a period.  To say so, not to mention do it, is in no way intended to be mean. If someone thinks you're angry with them or insincere or aggressive because of it, that is all kinds of wrong on their part.  Is it unkind of me to say that I will be ending my sentences with a period and I won't care a whit if someone redefines that action as [fill in the blank]?  This is just plain bizarre, and that's the nicest thing I can think to say!

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Hi, @MacDUFF! I'm with you on this. It seems to be a millennial thing and limited to texting or messaging apps, like Facebook Messenger or Kik. the same people who say this DO use periods in emails and other documents, thank goodness!  I had no idea it was a thing until I read some articles about it and started asking around.

When I consider just text and messages, I can understand where they're coming from. Here, you need a period to indicate the end of a sentence. In a text, the Send button functions as the indicator that the thought or sentence is complete and the period becomes redundant and seems overly formal. It's weird, but I can at least understand the reasoning behind it now, even if I may never get used to it myself.

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@ChynnaBlue

Yes, for convenience in a quick text message 2 let u no I'm L8 I can understand LOL!  I can also understand not wanting to be redundant or overly formal, but that's different from insincerity or aggression.

BTW (heh), thanks for not taking offense at my post...there was always the potential that you might have taken it as being directed against you personally!

Hope you are well...have a great evening!

[on the bay]

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@Pqfan wrote:

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@nun ya wrote:

It's all in the delivery.

You can say " I read this, you may want to look it up"

instead of...

"You uneducated fool, google it, maybe you can comprehend"

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@nun ya LOL! I love this post!

I am laughing so hard I think orange soda is going to come out of my nose if I am not careful!

Yes it is all in the delivery!

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@nun ya~Haha! I loved your post too when I saw it and laughed. Its pretty funny

[Moonchilde]

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@mstyrion 1 wrote:

Disagreement can be kind or unkind.  It all depends on the words and tone used.

I think you know the difference.

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I don't think it needs to be either one. Why should all disagreement be "kind" - and whose definition, anyway? 

One can simply disagree or have an opinion that is NEITHER kind nor unkind. The problem on these forums is that to some, if it isn't recognizably, OTT ooey gooey fluffy bunny kind it then MUST be unkind. I've seen people accuse others of being mean, rude, etc. when clearly *they did not understand what was said.* so yeah, then we have "I don't know what that person said to me and have no clue what it means, but since I don't understand it I'll bet it's mean! Yeah! All righty then, I'll respond as if they're an evil meanie!"

I don't think any of US really use kind or unkind much, it's the moderators word - a more neutral word than what we all know people are actually being. The behavior may be unkind, but it's much more than that.

[mstyrion 1]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@mstyrion 1 wrote:

Disagreement can be kind or unkind.  It all depends on the words and tone used.

I think you know the difference.

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I don't think it needs to be either one. Why should all disagreement be "kind" - and whose definition, anyway? 

One can simply disagree or have an opinion that is NEITHER kind nor unkind. The problem on these forums is that to some, if it isn't recognizably, OTT ooey gooey fluffy bunny kind it then MUST be unkind. I've seen people accuse others of being mean, rude, etc. when clearly *they did not understand what was said.* so yeah, then we have "I don't know what that person said to me and have no clue what it means, but since I don't understand it I'll bet it's mean! Yeah! All righty then, I'll respond as if they're an evil meanie!"

I don't think any of US really use kind or unkind much, it's the moderators word - a more neutral word than what we all know people are actually being. The behavior may be unkind, but it's much more than that.

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I don't necessarily agree with everything you said, but I find your outlook to be interesting

(kind)

Why do you always have to be a contrarian?  Your post is stupid and makes no sense

(unkind)

Yes, "kind" is a subjective word but I think we can all tell the difference when we see it.

I have seen clearly unkind responses here from time to time.

I used the word kind because the OP did.