Community Chat

[Sooner]

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@GenXmuse wrote:

That you’re a liar. 

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You may have something there.  It's sort of catch 22 isn't it?  By saying you don't judge you imply that others do, and therefore they are "lesser". . . 

Anyway, that thought pops into my head some times, so that's why I asked this--to learn what others think about it. Frankly, it still confuses me when people say this!  

[EatWell]

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@Sooner wrote:

I see this a lot here and I always wonder what people mean by that.  

Do you mean: I won't say anything somebody does is wrong; I don't put any right or wrong on someone's actions; I don't care what others do as long as it doen't affect me; etc.

Some people criticize actions others take and then say "But I don't judge" and I think ok, but does that mean you don't think what they do is right or wrong?  Do you make no moral judgment?  If you don't judge, do you have a "right or wrong" standard?

So I have always been confused about this statement.   I am not out to start a fight here, but I am just curious what it means to different folks.

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@Sooner 

So, what  does it mean to you?

[Sooner]

To me?  I don't use the phrase.  I have opinions, but do not judge because I don't like the word particularly. 

I make judgments.  Certainly.  When I buy tomatoes, pick out a car or shoes or decide whether to get out in the ice or not.  

But I do not use the term "judge".  That carries different connotations.  I avoid the word entirely because I have no idea what others think it means. 

[GAQShopr53]

Exactly the opposite of what they are saying. I have heard people say "I don't judge" in one sentence and then pass judgement in the next one. I can honestly say that I make all attempts not to judge but sometimes it happens!

[CalminHeart]

There are some who really don't judge others.  

There are some who are smart enough to know when to keep quiet.

Just watch for the "but" after they say it.  "I don't judge but....."   The 'but' negates everything before it.  Many who say they don't judge are the most judgmental people. 

[Stray]

I don’t use the phrase but it’s pretty common amongst the younger generation in my area. It’s said before or after an explanation for an activity they did or a comment about to be made that involves unusual behavior.

[QueenDanceALot]

I pretty much dismiss the phrase when I see or hear it.  

Mostly because I don't believe it. 

[hckynut]

@Sooner 

That is a phrase I don't recall using. What others mean when using it, I will quote Judge Judy. "That would require the operation of their brain". With the passing years I have to work harder at controlling the operation of my own brain.

For me it is the actions of someone that tell me who they are, but the why of those actions I will leave to those trained in that field. 

Hearing or reading something someone says about a topic, or other persons, without looking them in the eyes, tells me very little about them. Saying something pales in comparison to them actually doing something reminds me of "talk is cheap". 

Now when running my hockey league, I was the Judge/Jury, and Executioner, when it came to every facet of our games. I judged every single player by their skills/their commitment to showing up for most games, and most of all their temperament when playing a "for fun" level of good hockey. Some called me The Dictator, and that pretty much describes how I ran my adult hockey league.

hckynut

[Group 5 minus 1]

Afraid to voice opinion.

[Trinity11]

We all judge. The moment someone expresses they don't, they lose me. In fact people who go to the trouble of telling me they don't are usually the most judgmental...