Community Chat

[Sooner]

I see this a lot here and I always wonder what people mean by that.  

Do you mean: I won't say anything somebody does is wrong; I don't put any right or wrong on someone's actions; I don't care what others do as long as it doen't affect me; etc.

Some people criticize actions others take and then say "But I don't judge" and I think ok, but does that mean you don't think what they do is right or wrong?  Do you make no moral judgment?  If you don't judge, do you have a "right or wrong" standard?

So I have always been confused about this statement.   I am not out to start a fight here, but I am just curious what it means to different folks.

[CAcableGirl2]

@Sooner   when someone tells you they don't judge, it's usually right before they gossip or make a judgement about someone else. 

I heard on the radio recently, that "if you can't say something kind, then say nothing" - something that I am trying to follow. 

[godi]

To me it’s a way of forgiving themselves for insulting me. 

[DrakesMomma]

I don't think I have ever said those words - "I don't judge".  I think it is just the way one lives.  I also think if one uses that phrase followed with "but" they are passing some kind of judgement.    

A couple months before my nephew died he thanked me for "generally being a judgement free zone".  I didn't know that about myself until he told me. 

[SahmIam]

Nothing. To me, it's no different when someone starts a sentence with " I don't mean to offend but...." or " If you ask my opinion.....".

I judge when it comes to some things. I don't judge in all things. I also realize that no once cares except for those close to me what I think OR the person that ASKS for my opinion.

[sunshine45]

i think there is a big difference between a moral judgement and a subjective judgement.

i think answering your questions is too difficult without having a specific example.

[Annabellethecat66]

That's the motto of my entire family.  It's very large and we have some dysfunctional people.  Well, let's just say....OK, I'll call my family an eclectic group who used to be headed by my mother.

When she died....it's been (I'm thinking here...give me a minute)  it's been a little of this, a little of that and a lot of everything.

In other words we don't judge anyone and everyone is accepted in our family.  We've never turned anyone away for any reason at our family gatherings.

[QVCkitty1]

It’s right up there with “ I’m not a racist but”, or “ I’m no prude but.”  They are racists, they are prudes and get ready to be judged.

[pigletsmom]

Honestly if someone says that alll it means to me is they are lying. Everyone judges.

I think a lot of times people use it to not take a moral stand. Like someone finds out their friend is cheating on their spouse and says "Well I don't judge". Most likely means you just don't want to lose the friendship by telling your friend she's a jerk.

In some cases I think people use it instead of just saying it's none of my business. Like someone saying "I really hate tattoos but I don't judge" Well you probably are judging something but it's none of your business anyway. I like tats by the way just trying to think of an example.

I think I WONT judge would make more sense in cases where you don't know the facts of a situation.

[golding76]

Sooner,

It means "Hold tight.  I'm pretending not to judge and don't want any retort from you, but, guess what, I am judging."