Community Chat

[fortune]

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@chihuahuamom wrote:

My DH has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility.  He has worn his wedding ring since we married 42 years ago and don't think he has ever taken it off. It was not loose, so I did not remove it when he became a resident.  Well, one day when I visited I saw it was no longer on his finger.  I had them search numerous times, and it never surfaced. Now we have moved him to another place and I don't know what, if anything, I can do about that ring.  I was hoping they would at least cover some of the cost in losing it, but so far, they haven't.  What should I do?  Thanks.

@Chihuahuamom

I just thought of something.  Since the ring has tons of sentimental value, why not offer a reward for its return with no questions asked.  They have bulletin board where you could post this notice.  Make it a substantial reward, and see what happens!!

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[jlkz]

When my mom was in a memory care facility, no jewelry was allowed.

One day we discovered that her bottom denture was missing and we searched the entire room, bathroom, closets, chairs, floors, trash cans, etc.   When the aide came in she asked us what we were looking for.

After telling her, she told us that sometimes the client will take off / out things at night and place them in their pillowcase:  no memory, so they forget and the bed linens get sent out.  Where they end up, no one seems to know.

We didn't replace the bottom denture because she was then on puréed food.

[DiAnne]

Reading through this it is amazing they can get anyone to work in assisted living or skilled nursing facilities.  They general consensus seems to be that they all steal which is so untrue.  The nurses aides were licensed where I worked.  When patients were admitted it was suggested to the families that they not bring any valuables (just as hospitals do).  If people chose to ignore this then the facility should not be held responsible if the item was lost.  

[Kalli]

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@DiAnne wrote:

Reading through this it is amazing they can get anyone to work in assisted living or skilled nursing facilities.  They general consensus seems to be that they all steal which is so untrue.  The nurses aides were licensed where I worked.  When patients were admitted it was suggested to the families that they not bring any valuables (just as hospitals do).  If people chose to ignore this then the facility should not be held responsible if the item was lost.  

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 @DiAnne, 

Of course, people who are admitted to skilled nursing facilities shouldn't bring valuables but this is such a stressful thing to go through and if the person is fighting being placed there, taking their possessions off them, like tight rings, may be too difficult at that moment or may be forgotten in the challenge of this ordeal.

People shouldn't take what's not theirs.  It's a simple and perhaps profound creed we should all live by.  

I doubt family members are purposely choosing to ignore recommendations and throwing caution to the wind when it comes to their loved ones' valuable and more importantly,  sentimental possessions.  But many of these people are being sent to care facilities because of dementia/alzheimers.  Therefore they are not in their right mind.  I can tell you right now, if Mom still had her rings on and I was having her admitted to a care facility, she might vociferously object and it might get violent.  Or she might hand them over.  I never know which personality I'll encounter on any given day when I visit her.   That's dementia.  People who are employed in these settings should understand that. 

[Ladybug837]

That's so sad! My grandmother had dementia and was always taking things like keys and some of her jewelry and hiding it and then no one would be able to find it. Are you sure something like that didn't happen? 

[Kachina624]

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@athenian wrote:

I'm so sorry this happened.  I agree about keeping after it.

One night at my grandmother's, one of the men decided his dentures were uncomfortable.  He went around testing the others.  But he didn't just try them and replace them, he took them with him and randomly put them in different rooms.  This was before dentures were i.d. marked.  It took them weeks to reunite them with their owners.

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This would make a great scene for some "B" comedy movie.  Can you imagine trying to get the correct dentures back to the right oldsters?

[Sooner]

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@DiAnne wrote:

Reading through this it is amazing they can get anyone to work in assisted living or skilled nursing facilities.  They general consensus seems to be that they all steal which is so untrue.  The nurses aides were licensed where I worked.  When patients were admitted it was suggested to the families that they not bring any valuables (just as hospitals do).  If people chose to ignore this then the facility should not be held responsible if the item was lost.  

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I AGREE.  You simply cannot expect the staff to keep track of possessions, clothing or otherwise, in a facility full of people with dementia.  They do well to keep them fed, bathed and clothed, and their medicines given out.  It is a terrible terrible thing, and at that point it isn't about possessions.