Community Chat

[chihuahuamom]

My DH has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility.  He has worn his wedding ring since we married 42 years ago and don't think he has ever taken it off. It was not loose, so I did not remove it when he became a resident.  Well, one day when I visited I saw it was no longer on his finger.  I had them search numerous times, and it never surfaced. Now we have moved him to another place and I don't know what, if anything, I can do about that ring.  I was hoping they would at least cover some of the cost in losing it, but so far, they haven't.  What should I do?  Thanks.

[tansy]

The facility should have had an ombudsman.  If you've talked to the director of nursing and the owner without results, try the ombudsman.  How upsetting:/

[151949]

I hate to say this more than you can know , but if it wasn't loose , I bet someone took it from him. What else could have happened to it ? Very upsetting. I don't know how valuable it would be but if it were my Dad I would not let this go. I would nag at them about it constantly. 

When my Dad was placed in a home I bought him sets of sweats to wear  as he had lost a ton of weight. I took a sharpie marker and wrote his name in large letter right on the fronts of the pants and the shirts. I did his laundry at home so they could ot have gotten mixed in with other's laundry but I would come in and walk into the area where all the patients sit and there would be 3 or 4 men all wearing my Dad's clothes.I would be so agitated! Who knows what filth they were getting on his clothes - and I was taking them home to my washer. MRSA ? Pooping and peeing - just gross. I really raised heck you can be sure - every single piece was brand new. However, it never ended and when he died they actually asked me if I wanted his clothes, and I said No , I'd hate for the entire third floor to be naked so just keep them. I also wondered what other families thought when they came in and their Dad was wearing another man's clothes with his name on the front in 2" high letters.

[Sagitarian]

The ring was stolen. Please a word to wise about anyone going into a hospital, assisted living, or a nursing home, please remove anything valuable. My aunt would not let me remove an initial necklace when she went into an insisted living home. The first time they sent her off to the hospital the necklace was missing.    

[Ms X]

I'd talk to the police about filing a report.  At least there would be a record if they'd take the report under the circumstances.

[JustJazzmom]

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@Ms X wrote:

I'd talk to the police about filing a report.  At least there would be a record if they'd take the report under the circumstances.

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Was there an intake list of items when your husband was admitted? If it lists a wedding ring, you definitely should get that list to show the police.

[CatsyCline]

my Dad's ring went missing in the hospital. he had advanced ALZ it was so tight my mother could never get him to remove it.  he couldn't do it himself.  he was in ICU on a vent and one day it was gone. my mother went to the admin office and complained. it was "found" about 10 days later

[AKgirl2]

Sorry this happened and to say I didn't have to read but a couple of sentences to feel it was taken from him...you can keep asking, but IMO I don't see you getting it back, unless someone happens to "find" it and returns it to you.  I wish you the best and hope it finds its way back to where it belongs🙏

[Suhse]

When my Grandmother Was in as Assisted Living facility, with dementia, it was made very clear, that they recommended no jewelry or personal items of value, including wedding sets and family jewelry. If families or residents chose to wear,keep on premises, any jewelry, the facility wasn't responsible for it. 

Later, I saw how residents would roam in and out of rooms, pick things up and carry them wherever, so, it made even more sense. Everyone can't be watched all the time. Most things turned up, but, some, not! 

I know some families brought in very inexpensive jewelry for residents to wear.  It would be great, if the ring still turned up!

[DiAnne]

I worked part time for 9 years in a skilled nursing and unlocked memory care facility.  Many things went missing constantly.  It was not the employees but the other patients taking things. 

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