Community Chat

[colliegirls]

Dear friend's son's wedding, no registry, only want cash. I guess I am still a traditional person, cannot imagine asking for cash.

[WenGirl42]

IMO, asking for "stuff" (with a gift registry) is no different than asking for cash.  Both rude, but if one is to be considered okay, they both should.  They are both acknowledging that IF the invitee is moved to gift them with something, then there is a list of particular somethings they would prefer.  If you're going to go, and you would like to give the happy couple a gift, you are no more obligated to follow their wishes than you would be to gift them from their registry.  Personally, I'd give cash just because it's easy AND what they want. 

[brii]

I always give cash as a wedding gift.  It's what people want, and I don't have a problem giving people what they want. 

[debic]

Seems tacky, but since she's a dear friend I'd give money.   For an acquaintance I'd send a card only.

[CelticCrafter]

My husband once got a wedding invitation from a co-worker that included a little card in it stating that "if you are going to be so generous as to gift us, we prefer cash."

Tacky.

[sunshine45]

just went to one wedding two weeks ago.......going to another in september.

i gave a little something off of their registry AND a check. will do the same for the september wedding. one of the couples even had their honeymoon registered where you could buy them drinks or activities to do while they are on vacation.....have seen this before also.

[brii]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

My husband once got a wedding invitation from a co-worker that included a little card in it stating that "if you are going to be so generous as to gift us, we prefer cash."

Tacky.

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I think specificially asking for cash is tacky.

[debic]

I prefer giving cash myself, with exception of very close friends (I make the wedding cake for the gift)  but I'd be offended if they insisted that they only wanted cash.

Normal registrys are a good thing, you can see what kind of things the couple wants.

[ChynnaBlue]

Registries don't make sense for everyone. They made a lot of sense when people married very young and went from living at home or at college to starting a new home with a spouse. Now people are living on their own a while before they get married. They have linens and kitchenware and they're trying to figure out which ones to get rid of, not which they need more of. 

Meanwhile, many of them are in debt and will be paying student loans for decades and they need money more than they need things.

It may seem crass, but isn't the idea behind a wedding gift is giving the couple something that will help them start their new life together in comfort? And if that's the case, what's the better gift: a $70 place setting they don't need or the $70 you would have spent on the place setting that they can use to help pay down debt or go on a honeymoon they can't afford because they're paying student loans?