Community Chat

[Shelbelle]

I always give cash for wedding gift, but use the registry for a shower gift. Showers are for gifts, not cash.

[WenGirl42]

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@debc wrote:

I prefer giving cash myself, with exception of very close friends (I make the wedding cake for the gift)  but I'd be offended if they insisted that they only wanted cash.

Normal registrys are a good thing, you can see what kind of things the couple wants.

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I just don't see them as any different.  The couple in this case wants cash.  Same exact outcome.

[Shelbelle]

Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

[muttmom]

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@Shelbelle wrote:

Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

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I've been seeing this more and more.  Sorry but that's just tacky.

As for the wedding, we always give cash but I think it's tacky to specify cash only.  Was it on or in the invitation?

[Nancy Drew]

I have heard of it the funeral situation where they asked for cash for expenses. Ridiculous. 

[debic]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

Registries don't make sense for everyone. They made a lot of sense when people married very young and went from living at home or at college to starting a new home with a spouse. Now people are living on their own a while before they get married. They have linens and kitchenware and they're trying to figure out which ones to get rid of, not which they need more of. 

Meanwhile, many of them are in debt and will be paying student loans for decades and they need money more than they need things.

It may seem crass, but isn't the idea behind a wedding gift is giving the couple something that will help them start their new life together in comfort? And if that's the case, what's the better gift: a $70 place setting they don't need or the $70 you would have spent on the place setting that they can use to help pay down debt or go on a honeymoon they can't afford because they're paying student loans?

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Sorry, if they're going to want a fancy traditional wedding they should stick to the script of the wedding registry as well.  If they have debts they should be using the money they are spending on the wedding.   We went to Vegas and our family has a very small reception for us.  Family and best friends only. 

[debic]

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@Shelbelle wrote:

Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

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I've never seen that either.  I always insert cash in the card.

[Melania]

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

[Nancy Drew]

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@Melania2 wrote:

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@Jackaranda wrote:

Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

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They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

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I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.