Community Chat

[mgm2]

<h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . “</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 3. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with XYZ Company. ” You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, “What are you wearing?”</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 5. Cry out in surprise, “Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 6. Say “No” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends, would you be my friend?”</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?”</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can’t just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, “OH MY GOD!” and then hang up.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The Telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” and proceed to hang up.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you some beer.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 17. Tell the Telemarketer, “Okay, I’ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up… louder… louder!</h3> <h3 style="margin: 11px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 28px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: #fbfbfb; font-family: Rokkitt, 'Times New Roman'; font-weight: normal; line-height: 28px; color: #191919;"> 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.</h3>

[Lila Belle]

Want to get frustrated ?

Try reading that post !

[mgm2]

Sorry, I tried to delete it but it was too late, you already posted.

It's on facebook - snark e cards.

[betteb]

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . “

3. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with XYZ Company. ” You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, “What are you wearing?”

5. Cry out in surprise, “Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say “No” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends, would you be my friend?”

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?”

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can’t just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, “OH MY GOD!” and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The Telemarketer will agree and you say, “Me either!” and proceed to hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, “Okay, I’ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up… louder… louder!

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

[betteb]

There we go, thanks for posting mgm

[AnikaBrodie]

Another good question for them. When they call tell the telemarketer they must be using a cell phone because all you have is static on your end. Then, ask them to repeat everything they just told you, slowly and succinctly. When they ask you the meaning of succinctly refer them to the Webster's dictionary for its definition ... and hang up.

[luvmyteddy4]

That is pretty funny. I had one tonight from Pat Roberts (gov). I could have used one of those, I usually pick up the phone and hang it right back up.

[betteb]

On 3/4/2014 luvmyteddy said:

That is pretty funny. I had one tonight from Pat Roberts (gov). I could have used one of those, I usually pick up the phone and hang it right back up.

I haven't gotten one of those yet, but I'm sure I will. I hate political calls.

[------]

On 3/4/2014 Lila Belle said:

Want to get frustrated ?

Try reading that post !

[scotttie]

I love these. I have seen them before but they are always good for a laugh. I have told this before but once or twice I have said ""Peggy? Is this Peggy???"" ""no m'am not peggy this is Kevin."" Peggy?? I wanted to talk to Peggy (at which point I act like I thought I called them.""

I have had some pretty good cheap fun with it.

My bil seriously does the one about calling them at home.