Re: WHAT IF

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@SilleeMee I agree there is no turning back but I still believe that wrongs must be righted as best as possible in order for healing and moving on.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

@dex wrote:
@SilleeMee I agree there is no turning back but I still believe that wrongs must be righted as best as possible in order for healing and moving on.

Yes I know. The 'healing and moving on' part is just as difficult as the breaking apart. Some people never heal. I never did. I've been married and divorced three times and imho it's because I think I may be damaged from my past somehow. A wound that never heals and bleeds forever. That's what it feels like. It's sad I know but I have been moving on the best I can and at 62 it's just a part of me now. I don't feel that the healing part is going to make things any different. I never quite grasped the meaning of healing from this kind of treatment. It's hard to walk in my shoes and I don't expect anyone to understand. This is part of the difficulty of healing. You just can't talk about it except to a therapist...to me that's not real life. I've was dealt a hand of cards in my life and I have played them well considering.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@Cakers3 wrote:
If the men accused so far are admitting to inappropriate behavior, then what is the problem believing the women??

An accusation out of the blue with a man denying it is one thing; then we have the he said, she said situation.

When the accused admits to the accusation, apologizes (and not always genuinely) then for me it's a done deal.

DId it, admitted it, apology or no-who would say the accuser is lying?

Illogical.

@Cakers3, but what if many, many accusations have been made but the man denies them all?

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@SilleeMee I hope that you can find some way to heal.It isn't fair that the innocent suffer the rest of their lives for someone else's sins.i pray that you will find healing so that you can find some true happiness.I will pray that you find a way to set yourself free from the pain of this person who is sick and demented....You are so very worthy of happiness and I hope you find the strength to grant that to yourself.

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

@software wrote:
My late husband and I found each other late in life.

He told me once that probably half the women he had previously dated were victims of sexual abuse. He never cheated on me or did anything to harm a woman in that way.

If he were ever accused, I would not believe it. I would need proof and he was the kind of guy who would admit it, if true.

He was not a saint in every aspect of his life but he did have empathy for women.

@software

You were blessed to be loved by someone in whom you could place your trust. I am sure you are aware of that.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

lucymo · ‎12-13-2010

Some people will deny a wrong they committed to the very end. Lying is second nature to them. I don't want to make judgement against anyone unless I know the truth but surely some of what is happening lately has some truth to it. I sure hope so as a lot of peoples lives have been torn apart.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@Cakers3 wrote:
If the men accused so far are admitting to inappropriate behavior, then what is the problem believing the women??

An accusation out of the blue with a man denying it is one thing; then we have the he said, she said situation.

When the accused admits to the accusation, apologizes (and not always genuinely) then for me it's a done deal.

DId it, admitted it, apology or no-who would say the accuser is lying?

Illogical.
@Cakers3, but what if many, many accusations have been made but the man denies them all?

@suzyQ3 I think we are stretching scenarios into the stratosphere.

Since sexual harassment is a legal issue, all accusations should be investigated.

My point was that the ones accused right now are admitting to inappropriate behavior; if any of them had denied any of this outright then we have to weigh evidence/witnessess/time frame etc.

I am not saying that if a man denies it then he is outright innocent; we have two different situations going on: admission vs. denial. One is clear cut; the other isn't.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@dex wrote:
@SilleeMee I hope that you can find some way to heal.It isn't fair that the innocent suffer the rest of their lives for someone else's sins.i pray that you will find healing so that you can find some true happiness.I will pray that you find a way to set yourself free from the pain of this person who is sick and demented....You are so very worthy of happiness and I hope you find the strength to grant that to yourself.

Well said! I am sending SM a spiritual hug right now.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Many women are dating (or married) to men who 'grabbed' at them. Many, many women.

And many, many women are guilty of 'grabbing'. And not to get a better paying job, but just to get the guy's attention. And indeed did get it....

It's fair to say, you don't have to be a powerful and rich person to take advantage of situations. There are warmed bar stools with both sexes sitting on them--doing the 'dance'.

So it's not just in board rooms, newrooms, and high rise elevators that these things happen.

Just ordinary people. Men and women--offensive touching. How many men would say they were disgusted/outraged/hurt with being touched?

Both sides of the aisle. Very important to state. Seems that's the hot issue here with these 'high profile' cases. How many on this side and how many on that side? That should not matter.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

Most of these are true allegations. It'd be the same as whether or not one believes someone was raped. 99.99% of those are true too. There are a few who will make up stories but that's a small small number.