WHAT IF - Page 2

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Years ago I went to a school function with my husband and was appalled when six teenage girls came running up to my husband and started hugging him in thanks for coming to their function. Also, A coworker whose daughter was a student of my husbands said her daughter mentioned how good looking and classy Mr. ------was and she asked me if my husband was available to tutor her for a math course she was taking in college to get her RN degree. I told her he was way too busy for tutoring. I told my husband he better be careful because he was way too popular at school. He said he knows how teenage girls are and he's never alone with them and always has his door open if someone stays after class. Thank God he got old and grouchy and the kids and their mothers let him alone. My point is, I think appearance's matter, so you better not put yourself in a position to have to defend yourself.

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

I was a victim and so were my friends. I lived in silence for many years because I didn't think anyone would believe me. It was not me who came forward, but someone close enough to speak out and bring it to light to someone else who did take action. It was all too painful. When it comes to family, that's where this kind of thing starts and it goes on for generations. Covering up becomes a thing. I don't think it will ever go away.

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

Dear SM,

I'm so sorry you were a victim! I wish it were easier to come forward about these things.

Still I can't believe people are being fired without a hearing or trial. I thought everyone was innocent until proven guilty. There must be overwhelming evidence right?

Years ago while working at my local Humaine Society a person I knew came in and roughed me up but something I said made him stop and he left. I was 18 and reported it to the police. This person had a record but 2 weeks later the PD told me it was my word against his! He bothered woman in my home town for years and finally assaulted someone and went to prison. I hope that my reporting what he did to me at least helped support the fact that he was trouble.

Again I hope that scar has healed for you and maybe you can help or warn someone else.

Cathy

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

@Jackhound Mom,

Thank you.

That was a long time ago but if it happened today, there would be more jobs and marriages destroyed. But at the time, the wrong-doers were given a slap on the wrist and the abuse was mostly covered up like it was no big deal. It's that part that is most disturbing to me because I know that some of those bad people have gotten away with stuff for many years and it was always covered up in some way...a pay-off or threat was thrown to keep quiet. Troubling waters start in the home with family and until this is taken care of, there will be no solution imo. I wonder how many slaps on wrists were given to all the older men who are now being accused?

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

That's a good question. I think if you know someone long enough, you know what they are capable of. I often think there are signs when a spouse cheats, the other person may try to excuse it away, may not want face the possible truth. I would hope I would have an open mind before I made my judgment.

zitawins · ‎02-28-2017

What I am afraid will happen is this will turn into a frantic witchhunt. All these accusations are Alleged not proven. Who knows if they're true? And one or two instances don't make a man a serial offender. I'm all for calling out those jerks, but, please, the employers like NBC and MPR are doing knee jerk reactions by fearful corporate types who don't want to lose their bottom line.

And I DON'T automatically believe the women. There may be all sorts of agendas and revenge motives involved, especially if someone didn't get a job or was let go for lack of talent.

I just want people to slow down and look at all the angles.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

If the men accused so far are admitting to inappropriate behavior, then what is the problem believing the women??

An accusation out of the blue with a man denying it is one thing; then we have the he said, she said situation.

When the accused admits to the accusation, apologizes (and not always genuinely) then for me it's a done deal.

DId it, admitted it, apology or no-who would say the accuser is lying?

Illogical.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

LoveMyBaby · ‎03-09-2010

@dex wrote:
@goldensrbest I think I would be inclined to believe the evidence no matter how hurtful.I always told my son that if you do something wrong the only thing left for you to do is find a way to make it right again.I don't know how you could begin to correct the wrongs against some of these women but I would think that they should be consulted on this matter..

@dex I'm with you, regarding the bolded above. I am not going to stand by ANY family member if they did anything like this or worse. Some people stick by family 'no matter what'. Not me. There's right and wrong. The Facts, Truth or Lies.

⚓️

SilleeMee · ‎05-22-2016

@LoveMyBaby wrote:
@dex wrote:
@goldensrbest I think I would be inclined to believe the evidence no matter how hurtful.I always told my son that if you do something wrong the only thing left for you to do is find a way to make it right again.I don't know how you could begin to correct the wrongs against some of these women but I would think that they should be consulted on this matter..
@dex I'm with you, regarding the bolded above. I am not going to stand by ANY family member if they did anything like this or worse. Some people stick by family 'no matter what'. Not me. There's right and wrong. The Facts, Truth or Lies.

Breaking a family apart because of sexual misconduct is easier said than done. It becomes a matter of survival for some people. When a family is torn, the comforts and security of being together are gone forever. That part is what makes it difficult to speak out because when you do there is no turning back.