Reply
Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

                                               Hi,

I would like a little advice please.  My husband and I went away on a mini vacation.  While we were on the road, my husband received a voice text to his car that my cousin who we knew was in hospice passed away.  The text came from my sister.  I have MS so stress is difficult for me.  In her text, she noted to my husband to tell me when he thought it was appropriate.  I found this to be strange because she had already sent me a personal message earlier that morning.  I just discovered it today. We have been back home for one day. I kept my smart phone turned off during the trip.  We usually leave his phone on because of our son who might need to reach us.  A couple of days later she sent a final arrangement email to my husband.  I simply don't understand why the emails could not have waited.  We are now back home and the service will not be for another eight days.  I don't understand why she needed to put a damper on our vacation when the news could have waited. When we arrived home, I sent her an email that stated we had a peaceful vacation.  I told her previously that I would send an email when we arrived home safely.  I guess I just don't understand the urgency. I think that she may be angry because I didn't send a response to any of her messages.  She usually calls nightly.  However, she has not called the past two nights.  What do you think about this situation?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,432
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

No words. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,709
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@GenXmuse wrote:

No words. 


I have words but I'm going to keep them to myself.

The eyes through which you see others may be the same as how they see you.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Gee, most people would want to know right away that a family member had passed, vacation or no vacation, and would be mad if the messenger had waited until the recipient had returned home from vacation before getting the news.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

Thank you for being considerate.  If I am wrong, then I glady accept any opinion.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,295
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

@Thrive Forgive her....she was stressed by the devastating news and as a family member thought you would be alarmed if she hadn't reached you.  When close family passes usually they inform family....totally understandable.  I am sorry for your loss. The urgency was that your cousin had passed. Show up at the services with condolences and thank your sister for calling you.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

Thank you!

Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

Thank you!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,592
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I have words. @Thrive  Perhaps you’ve never been in a situation where you had to deliver the news of a loved ones passing.  

 

Those of us who have been there, have been grieving and under a great deal of stress.  The last thing on my mind, would have been whether or not I was ruining someone’s vacation. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 617
Registered: ‎08-03-2011

Yes, you are right.  I guess it was my way of trying to avoid hearing something so awful.