Community Chat

[gidgetgh]

---

@bonnielu wrote:

They and them are plural.  She would have to use IT.  I really don't think this is what is going on.... but then what do I know.  The last few years I taught Language Arts (English) the administrators told us the new rule was not to teach grammar, or spelling, or handwriting.  I did wonder what I was supposed to teach and the answer was " teach them to think."  You can see why I retired. LOL

---

@bonnielu- they see themselves as identifying with both genders and not strongly with their birth gender, so the plural is used. “It” refers to something that’s not a living being and is not respectful. That’s not appropriate here. 

[Puppy Lips]

My son and his wife just had their first baby -- a beautiful girl.  When people would ask him if he had a boy or a girl, he would joke and say, "I don't know, it hasn't told me yet."

He would say it tongue in cheek, but there is an element of truth to it.  I would hate to think it would come to that.

[gidgetgh]

---

@esmeraldagooch wrote:

Edited to remove quote

---

Oh. My. Gosh. 

[this is my nic]

@Alison Wonderland

They accepted terminology when the gender of a person was unknown, was he/she, him/her, or in the really old days it was always the masculine.   This worked for many years.  If the masculine were used incorrectly the woman just mentally inserted the feminine pronoun.  No one felt they were being treated badly, life went on.  Now everyone seemingly can't wait to be insulted,or perceived to be, so they can complain. 

[Sooner]

---

@seaBreeze wrote:

I am still scratching my head as to why we call women actresses:  Actors

The work actress is still in Webster's Dictionary ... why not use it?

---

@seaBreeze  Yep.  A female postmaster is a postmaster.  The "ess" "ette" is a diminutive, and therefore in grammatical terms a "less than" of sorts.    That one going away has been a very good thing I think. 

[Alison Wonderland]

---

@this is my nic wrote:

@Alison Wonderland

They accepted terminology when the gender of a person was unknown, was he/she, him/her, or in the really old days it was always the masculine.   This worked for many years.  If the masculine were used incorrectly the woman just mentally inserted the feminine pronoun.  No one felt they were being treated badly, life went on.  Now everyone seemingly can't wait to be insulted,or perceived to be, so they can complain. 

---

And using he/she repeatedly in a single email is just as awkward as repeating the person's name over and over. It's not a good solution. A genderless pronoun would be a better solution and it's a shame we still haven't come up with one. We can do better.

[QueenDanceALot]

---

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

@petepetey. Actually, I think your best bet is to ask your daughter to explain it. I don't think anyone here would know what is in your daughters mind.

---

Yes, I agree.  Having a conversation to clarify seems a lot more mature, respectful and productive than responding the way some here are responding. 

[QueenDanceALot]

---

@sidsmom wrote:

My generation had “Ms.” which became mainstream in the 60’s.

Everyone has adapted.

Society made it normal.

And the World continues to turn.

Amazing.

(wiki)

“...the default use of Ms., especially for business purposes, is championed by some American sources, including Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners).  Concerning business, the Emily Post Institute states, "Ms. is the default form of address, unless you know positively that a woman wishes to be addressed as Mrs."  The American Heritage Book of English Usage states, "Using Ms. obviates the need for the guesswork involved in figuring out whether to address someone as Mrs. or Miss: you can’t go wrong with Ms. Whether the woman you are addressing is married or unmarried, has changed her name or not, Ms. is always correct."

---

@sidsmom

Yeah, remember that?  People getting their collective panties in a big wad?

Heck, around here some may still be trying to dewad their undies from that one.

[QueenDanceALot]

---

@cherry wrote:

I think the term they, when speaking  about a trans, could be useful. There is a young person ,we suspect in transitioning, and I am not sure what to call them. I am afraid either saying he or she, might make people think we are making fun of them , and the term " It "sounds like you don't even consider them ,to be a person

Mr Cherry brought this up to me ,after we had seen them checking out our groceries. I wouldn't deliberately make fun of anyone, and we both didn't know what was the correct way to  use a pronoun in this case ,is.

---

@cherry

I applaud both you and Mr. Cherry for being so thoughtful about the issue.

It would be so lovely if more people cared to consider those different from them in such a kind and decent way.